And Then There Were None...
Some truth is out of this world!39 total reviews
Comment from royowen
What an incredible story, it would probably make the top ten of haunted houses, of course if there had been a house, which apparently there been, one wonders if people are in a limbo, until the end of the age, and somehow, things remain as they are, of course we know that time is really an illusion. Beautifully written Karenina, excellent job, you should have a shake at this, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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What an incredible story, it would probably make the top ten of haunted houses, of course if there had been a house, which apparently there been, one wonders if people are in a limbo, until the end of the age, and somehow, things remain as they are, of course we know that time is really an illusion. Beautifully written Karenina, excellent job, you should have a shake at this, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Having only ever dabbled in flash fiction ---in prose---when I saw this non-fiction contest I thought I'd give it a go. Hey 1500 plus words and I was on a roll! Truth is stranger than fiction...and not everything we experience fits into what we know within earthly parameters. Funny you mention this-because Kev and I both hoped THEN and throughout the years--that whatever door opened to allow us to experience this--perhaps it released some trapped souls from Limbo or earthly trauma--I've always hoped they were set free that day and found peace. Thanks for taking the time to read this much longer piece from me than usual! --Karenina
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It sounded tragic, you did well Karenina
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Thanks, Roy! I may try prose again...but not soon!--Karenina
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You?re good at it dear girl,
Comment from AnnieDawn
That is so freaky. I was captivated throughout the whole of your story. Not just the events but the way it was written. This should place very well in the contest. I would vote for it. Great job.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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That is so freaky. I was captivated throughout the whole of your story. Not just the events but the way it was written. This should place very well in the contest. I would vote for it. Great job.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Thanks! I write poetry--a very few times I've tried flash fiction... While this true life experience came to mind I did not have the confidence to attempt more than 100 words of prose... A huge shout out to friends on site who encouraged me to TRY! When I passed 1500 words I truly felt a hunger to share this supernatural experience my brother and I had and I'm glad I have it a go! Many Thanks--Karenina
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Karenina,
Nice piece of Spiritual Non-Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and transparently depicting its theme.
It would have been better if the story had been labeled as a DREAM. I think so.
Anyway, Interesting and worth enjoying!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Hello Karenina,
Nice piece of Spiritual Non-Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and transparently depicting its theme.
It would have been better if the story had been labeled as a DREAM. I think so.
Anyway, Interesting and worth enjoying!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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This was a non-fiction contest and it was not a dream...what I described really and truly happened and was experienced by my brother and I. It is unexplainable, I now...but we lived it and I could not and would not distill it down to our imagination or a dream...
Some spiritual door opened a crack and we slipped in and out...don't know HOW---but I'll go to my grave swearing that it the truth! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment so thoughtfully.--Karenina
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Karenina, Most Welcome!
"...described...unexplainable"
Exceptional Indeed!
With best wishes,
~ RP
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You boosted my courage! I may well try prose again! (smile)--Karenina
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Karenina, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
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Hey--Just informed I took third place. Given my lack of experience writing prose I am pleased to have placed in the top three! Thanks--Karenina
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Karenina, Most Welcome &
Congratulations!
Keep this spirit up!!
With best wishes,
~ RP
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Thanks! I can't learn and get better if I don't put my work out there, right? --Karenina
Comment from RShipp
'vitamin elixir' What a great description of the feeling ...'laughing over corny jokes and singing in brother-sister duets to whatever the radio spit out at us'
A gruesome non-Fiction story.
Best of luck in the Non-Fiction Writing Contest.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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'vitamin elixir' What a great description of the feeling ...'laughing over corny jokes and singing in brother-sister duets to whatever the radio spit out at us'
A gruesome non-Fiction story.
Best of luck in the Non-Fiction Writing Contest.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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There have, since then, been spiritual events my brother and I have shared and I am a reformed non-believer in such things... NOTHING as immensely transforming as this first experience. When we talk of it now we always hope somehow a spiritual door opened allowing four trapped souls to be released... Thank you!--Karenina
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Chilling--literally--my torso is trembling still--it's 70 degrees and soon as I finish this I'll be grabbing a blanket--if I didn't know otherwise I'd have thought I was coming down with Corona. This would be creepy enough if fictional--that it's true and happened to you both--shakes up my worldview--like you, I so much wish there was a natural explanation--so disturbing! Masterfully rendered tale, meticulous depiction of place, stunning climax. Cheers and chills! LIZ (A small comfort is that kids apparently died sheltering from fire--at first I assumed demented mother kept them cooped up and let them starve/suffocate.)
Congrats on your recognition!
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Chilling--literally--my torso is trembling still--it's 70 degrees and soon as I finish this I'll be grabbing a blanket--if I didn't know otherwise I'd have thought I was coming down with Corona. This would be creepy enough if fictional--that it's true and happened to you both--shakes up my worldview--like you, I so much wish there was a natural explanation--so disturbing! Masterfully rendered tale, meticulous depiction of place, stunning climax. Cheers and chills! LIZ (A small comfort is that kids apparently died sheltering from fire--at first I assumed demented mother kept them cooped up and let them starve/suffocate.)
Congrats on your recognition!
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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The "sense" my brother and I have always had is that the children were perhaps punished over their young lived by being hidden in that dark whole in the wall behind the chest of drawers... The Karma is that in the end, according to all 1921 reports-the mother was charred beyond belief and the children, while tragically killed, died from smoke inhalation long before the fire got to them. Several have reviewed suggesting I call this a dream or fantasy fiction. It was NOT! ALL happed as I described... and still today my brother and I have no earthly explanation and cling to the hope that somehow a spiritual door was opened for us to glimpse their truth and (we hope!)--for their spirits to be released to fly free to heaven! Thank you SO much! I've never written prose ANYTHING longer than flash fiction... When I looked at word count and had passed 1500 words I felt this amateur poet acheived a little something!--Karenina
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How I wish this were fantasy fiction!
Given that the veracity of the dual experience has been supported by records, I trust your sensing the hole as the children's place of punishment. Did you gather that it was intermittent "time outs" or was it prolonged?Given that the report indicated death from smoke inhalation they hadn't suffocated prior to the fire. (It takes just 3 days to die from lack of water.)
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Seeing as the word "help" was scratched into the floor and smudged handprints were on the wall both my brother and I got the very real sense of the children being trapped in there as a from of punishment for several days at a time... Certainly more evil than a "time out." Questions we will perhaps have answered on the other side?--Karenina
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I was afraid of that, given the scratches for help.
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Guess it's left to our senses...even the sixth sense...to discern the answers. Maybe someday there will be a reunion of sorts in a happier place!--Karenina
Comment from equestrik
WOW! What a creepy experience. You wrote about it really well and in a suspenseful way that kept me reading and interested in the story and the outcome.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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WOW! What a creepy experience. You wrote about it really well and in a suspenseful way that kept me reading and interested in the story and the outcome.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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SO glad it held your attention! The TRUTH is always more frightening, when it comes to the supernatural--than anything we can dream up! Thank you for reading and reviewing!--Karenina
Comment from Anne-Marie brison
Dear author,
Awesome!!! Spine tingling,. Awesome job and thanks for the read!!!! Best of luck with your writting!!!! May God bless you and your family!!!!!
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Dear author,
Awesome!!! Spine tingling,. Awesome job and thanks for the read!!!! Best of luck with your writting!!!! May God bless you and your family!!!!!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Thank you! Thanks, also to those who encouraged this amateur poet to expand beyond y few meager attempts at flash fiction prose and tackle the truth of this supernatural experience! Once I passed 1500 words I knew it was something I was MEANT to share!--Karenina
Comment from Veenbee
Wow, that was creepy. Job well done. To think when they went back there was no house at all. AAAhhhh!!! Very creative. You must have a little brother because I have witnessed that mocking behavior before. Nicely done. Veenbee
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Wow, that was creepy. Job well done. To think when they went back there was no house at all. AAAhhhh!!! Very creative. You must have a little brother because I have witnessed that mocking behavior before. Nicely done. Veenbee
Comment Written 04-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Yes. This is all TRUE! Nothing made up. And James, (my younger brother) was--in fact--mocking Kev and I...until he realized by our demeanor we WERE NOT KIDDING! Thanks!--Karenina
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Wait, you're telling me this is a true story?!!! Now I'm really creeped out.
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Absolutely true. Even involved Lorraine Warren (world famous medium) in the research!--Karenina
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wow!!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is a very good essay, easy said, I like and have enjoyed the read, all the way, about a bizarre experience in life described; organized and structured description of facts; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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This is a very good essay, easy said, I like and have enjoyed the read, all the way, about a bizarre experience in life described; organized and structured description of facts; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 04-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2020
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Thank you. For this amateur poet to dive from a few attempts at flash fiction into an over 1500 word essay of non-fiction was only attempted with encouragement and support of those here who truly believed I had it in me to tell of this amazing experience! --Karenina
Comment from elchupakabra
There are a couple parts of the prose that personally I think can be redone to smooth it out as it does sound a bit clunky at times, but otherwise I really enjoyed the actual story.
Just as an example;
Kev drove--too fast as is an unwritten rule, apparently, for nineteen-year old college guys. At sixteen I was only too happy to be breaking a few parental rules of my own. I was your basic "good girl" and without serious goading I pretty much toed the line.
Ken drove recklessly fast, a common trait among 19 year old college dudes. At sixteen, I was just happy to exhibit a bit of my wild side. I had always been your basic 'good girl'; without much prompting, I usually toed the line when it came to rules.
Great work overall, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2020
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There are a couple parts of the prose that personally I think can be redone to smooth it out as it does sound a bit clunky at times, but otherwise I really enjoyed the actual story.
Just as an example;
Kev drove--too fast as is an unwritten rule, apparently, for nineteen-year old college guys. At sixteen I was only too happy to be breaking a few parental rules of my own. I was your basic "good girl" and without serious goading I pretty much toed the line.
Ken drove recklessly fast, a common trait among 19 year old college dudes. At sixteen, I was just happy to exhibit a bit of my wild side. I had always been your basic 'good girl'; without much prompting, I usually toed the line when it came to rules.
Great work overall, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2020
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Thanks for the great advice. I am grateful, and have changed that passage to read as you suggested and it is smoother. I write poetry, with very few attempts at prose so this was the longest piece I've ever attempted. I'm glad I shared the experience-- The only way to learn to write well is to write more--and generous people such as you help me learn.--Thank You, Karenina
