This Present Road
A monorhyme for current times...32 total reviews
Comment from lightink
If I had a sixer left, I'd offer it to you!
The way you played with the line length is so awesome.
When I saw this contest, this was my first though...the only way to keep it from boring, one needs to stay away from equal lime length!
Beautifully done!
And then the language...so exquisite!
Beautiful, rich vocabulary with haunting imagery and an air of mysticism imbuing your lines! A poem with soul! (I so want to know who you are. I'll check back after the voting is done.)
You started out with a beautiful and fierce image of an eagle, which is elevated to the 'spirit animal' realm (while also an obvious reference to the US).
You describe the human suffering and the the inhumane acts of out time - and also mention the hurricane, which again, is both symbolic and real.
You still close the poem on a somewhat hopeful note (at least the possibility if hope is hinted).
Such a masterpiece!
Congratulations, you've made the nearly impossible happen!
I very much enjoyed this!
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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If I had a sixer left, I'd offer it to you!
The way you played with the line length is so awesome.
When I saw this contest, this was my first though...the only way to keep it from boring, one needs to stay away from equal lime length!
Beautifully done!
And then the language...so exquisite!
Beautiful, rich vocabulary with haunting imagery and an air of mysticism imbuing your lines! A poem with soul! (I so want to know who you are. I'll check back after the voting is done.)
You started out with a beautiful and fierce image of an eagle, which is elevated to the 'spirit animal' realm (while also an obvious reference to the US).
You describe the human suffering and the the inhumane acts of out time - and also mention the hurricane, which again, is both symbolic and real.
You still close the poem on a somewhat hopeful note (at least the possibility if hope is hinted).
Such a masterpiece!
Congratulations, you've made the nearly impossible happen!
I very much enjoyed this!
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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THANK YOU, thank you for such a detailed and awesome review, my lady -- you've made the afternoon just a bit brighter (smiles from ear to ear...)! ;) the virtual six is just as lovely coming from you... take care! ;)
Comment from A. Louise Robertson
This is a SIX STAR work, without a doubt!
The poem and the picture are absolutely perfect together.
The prophetic poetry serves as a warning in these strange days of where we are headed.
You have done a marvelous job with the assigned form for this contest, as well.
Thank you for sharing this piece and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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This is a SIX STAR work, without a doubt!
The poem and the picture are absolutely perfect together.
The prophetic poetry serves as a warning in these strange days of where we are headed.
You have done a marvelous job with the assigned form for this contest, as well.
Thank you for sharing this piece and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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Wow!! Thank you so very much, A-Louise - those stars are such a bright spot over here!! I'm so glad this one touched you as it was certainly written from a place of very strong emotion! Take care of you out there as the week fades into the weekend...
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Good luck - you got my vote!
Comment from Susan Louise Gabriel
Wow, you really met the challenge of the monorhyme by selecting a word that isn't the easiest to rhyme, but you were able to make a story out of it. I especially liked the way you ended it - well done and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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Wow, you really met the challenge of the monorhyme by selecting a word that isn't the easiest to rhyme, but you were able to make a story out of it. I especially liked the way you ended it - well done and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for your review - so glad you enjoyed!! 8-)
Comment from Tina Crute
This is a great technical piece, with rhymes being meaningful but also with a beat.
The feel of the poem is ,to me, a wake up call, especially with the bright letters.
Well done! I'm voting for you, anonymous.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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This is a great technical piece, with rhymes being meaningful but also with a beat.
The feel of the poem is ,to me, a wake up call, especially with the bright letters.
Well done! I'm voting for you, anonymous.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much, Tina!!
Comment from Patty Palmer
/Great job with all the end words rhyming! It's easier said than done. But you did it! I love the picture of the eagle! It's so life like. Good luck with the contest!
Patty
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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/Great job with all the end words rhyming! It's easier said than done. But you did it! I love the picture of the eagle! It's so life like. Good luck with the contest!
Patty
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for your review. 8-)
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I like the tone of this poem. It is optimistic. I love the "peace, freedom" in the end called by "the eagle". Yes. I hope we will overcome the current obstacle and will be successful again.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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I like the tone of this poem. It is optimistic. I love the "peace, freedom" in the end called by "the eagle". Yes. I hope we will overcome the current obstacle and will be successful again.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for your review. 8-)
Comment from lyenochka
I really like the structure of your monorhyme poem - in grouping the tercets of one long and two short lines. Your choice of the eagle speaks to me about the U.S. and the current time of upheaval. The dice are cast and it appears that we have "much rain" up ahead but we can pray for peace and freedom to remain. Best wishes in the contest!
One minor comment:
For dies are cast, foundations lain:(dice) "dice" is plural and "die" is singular. See: https://grammarist.com/usage/dice-die/
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
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I really like the structure of your monorhyme poem - in grouping the tercets of one long and two short lines. Your choice of the eagle speaks to me about the U.S. and the current time of upheaval. The dice are cast and it appears that we have "much rain" up ahead but we can pray for peace and freedom to remain. Best wishes in the contest!
One minor comment:
For dies are cast, foundations lain:(dice) "dice" is plural and "die" is singular. See: https://grammarist.com/usage/dice-die/
Comment Written 02-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the review and the catch!! 8-)
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You had my vote!
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Thank you so much!!!
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a wonderful poem entry for the Monorhyme writing prompt. I enjoyed reading it, and I do hope it does well in the contest. Good luck!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
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This is a wonderful poem entry for the Monorhyme writing prompt. I enjoyed reading it, and I do hope it does well in the contest. Good luck!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your review this evening. 8-)
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You're quite welcome.
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
I love the photo you choose to go with your poem, they are perfect match. Your words touched my heart and soul.
This is what I call a food for thought poem.
Thank you for sharing this meaningful poem
Cookie
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
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I love the photo you choose to go with your poem, they are perfect match. Your words touched my heart and soul.
This is what I call a food for thought poem.
Thank you for sharing this meaningful poem
Cookie
Comment Written 02-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your review this evening. 8-)
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You're very welcome. take care
Cookie
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a good monorhyme with both full and stant rhyme. It tells the story of a hurricane hitting and abating.
It is dies are cast not dyes.
Good luck, keep writing and stay healthy.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
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This is a good monorhyme with both full and stant rhyme. It tells the story of a hurricane hitting and abating.
It is dies are cast not dyes.
Good luck, keep writing and stay healthy.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 02-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
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Thanks for the catch there, Joan! Have a great evening!
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You're welcome.
Joan
