Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Blue Heaven Iris"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
9 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
laughter wrinkles tell
a good life filled with love tale --
blue heaven iris
We can recognize which old people led good lives. They show their story, and often need not say a word.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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laughter wrinkles tell
a good life filled with love tale --
blue heaven iris
We can recognize which old people led good lives. They show their story, and often need not say a word.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Mark :) I appreciate your review. Have a wonderful weekend.
gypsy
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Gypsy--and if wrinkles tell the story of a life well lived, my life blows chunks, 'cause I don't have many of those, but do graying hair and bald pate count?
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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Another fine poem, Gypsy--and if wrinkles tell the story of a life well lived, my life blows chunks, 'cause I don't have many of those, but do graying hair and bald pate count?
Comment Written 26-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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LoL, yes they count. Thank you very much for your review and kind words. I appreciate your time.
Gypsy
Comment from Ricky1024
"Blue Heaven Iris"
Is a 5-7-5 haiku.
First I will say I enjoyed the pictures.
Also your comments about it being the color of an old man's eye.
Well done poet.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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"Blue Heaven Iris"
Is a 5-7-5 haiku.
First I will say I enjoyed the pictures.
Also your comments about it being the color of an old man's eye.
Well done poet.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 26-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words. I appreciate your time.
Gypsy
Comment from June Sargent
Grampa's beatiful blue eyes are the same color as one of my favorite flowers! A lovely follow up to my couplet. Let's see where it goes from here...I am enjoying this adventure!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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Grampa's beatiful blue eyes are the same color as one of my favorite flowers! A lovely follow up to my couplet. Let's see where it goes from here...I am enjoying this adventure!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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Thank you, June, I am enjoying too. It's interesting to see it change as it goes.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from lyenochka
I like your pun of the "blue heaven iris!" Yes, those who have lived well, can have that perspective of the serenity of heaven. And you show us that we see it in their eyes - the laugh wrinkles and the iris of the eyes!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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I like your pun of the "blue heaven iris!" Yes, those who have lived well, can have that perspective of the serenity of heaven. And you show us that we see it in their eyes - the laugh wrinkles and the iris of the eyes!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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Thank you very much, Helen, for your review and kind words. I appreciate your time.
Gypsy
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for adding another chapter to the Renga work and focusing on the old man's eye color too. Your alliteration of "l's" adds to the intensity of the description. Smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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Thank you for adding another chapter to the Renga work and focusing on the old man's eye color too. Your alliteration of "l's" adds to the intensity of the description. Smiles- Joan
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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Thank you very much, Joan, for your review and kind words. I appreciate your time.
Gypsy
Comment from Mark D. R.
Another good chapter added to your renga collaboration!
Iris has a hidden pun sound "eye-ris" (-; (-;
Good photograph! My Mom loved the original ol' Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra. My wife preferred Paul Newman. LOL. I wonder if the wrinkles around the mouth are better than the wrinkles bracketing your eyes. Regardless, methinks they both show a joyful life when the smile is genuine and identical to the man in your photo.
Mark
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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Another good chapter added to your renga collaboration!
Iris has a hidden pun sound "eye-ris" (-; (-;
Good photograph! My Mom loved the original ol' Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra. My wife preferred Paul Newman. LOL. I wonder if the wrinkles around the mouth are better than the wrinkles bracketing your eyes. Regardless, methinks they both show a joyful life when the smile is genuine and identical to the man in your photo.
Mark
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2020
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Thank you very much, Mark. I like your word play. I didn't think about it.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from lightink
This is such a sweet poem - showing how the visible signs of the passing of time are actually a piece of art - time's writing on our face...and if they are laugh lines, they are even more delightful!
I love the double meaning of the last line.
My grandma's green eyes turned blues over 80...
One question regarding grammar: Shouldn't 'fill' be 'fills' or 'filled'?
I might be missing something.
Thank you for sharing this delight!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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This is such a sweet poem - showing how the visible signs of the passing of time are actually a piece of art - time's writing on our face...and if they are laugh lines, they are even more delightful!
I love the double meaning of the last line.
My grandma's green eyes turned blues over 80...
One question regarding grammar: Shouldn't 'fill' be 'fills' or 'filled'?
I might be missing something.
Thank you for sharing this delight!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thank you for catching that error, it's corrected now.
Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs
Gypsy
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Lovely poem, is this a flower or a man:) I just love the beautiful imaginary and the comparison with the man of the blue Iris. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Lovely poem, is this a flower or a man:) I just love the beautiful imaginary and the comparison with the man of the blue Iris. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words. Thank you very much for the six stars!
Hugs
Gypsy