St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 80 "St. Louis Chapter 34 part "Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
I should think that online learning wouldn't be the thing for first graders, or for many other students, for that matter. I hope things will be worked out smoothly. You should have retired before you got into another year of this. I'm sorry for the delay, but I thought I had already reviewed it. I must have read it but somehow gotten distracted and didn't review it then. Mac is finally back home, and I hope she won't have any more threats. I can relate to Mac's pain getting up, etc. I have some small fractures in my back that painkillers didn't seem to help, so the pain went on for a few weeks until it stopped at last. Mac certainly has great support from every one. Is Logan about to be called back? He may have to decide whether he wants to leave Mac. As you think about the novel as a whole, you might think about how you can make Mac active in the case. After all, she's the detective, and she's been sidelined. Maybe there'll be a chance for her to show her stuff in another chapter. Great interactions between the characters. judi
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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I should think that online learning wouldn't be the thing for first graders, or for many other students, for that matter. I hope things will be worked out smoothly. You should have retired before you got into another year of this. I'm sorry for the delay, but I thought I had already reviewed it. I must have read it but somehow gotten distracted and didn't review it then. Mac is finally back home, and I hope she won't have any more threats. I can relate to Mac's pain getting up, etc. I have some small fractures in my back that painkillers didn't seem to help, so the pain went on for a few weeks until it stopped at last. Mac certainly has great support from every one. Is Logan about to be called back? He may have to decide whether he wants to leave Mac. As you think about the novel as a whole, you might think about how you can make Mac active in the case. After all, she's the detective, and she's been sidelined. Maybe there'll be a chance for her to show her stuff in another chapter. Great interactions between the characters. judi
Comment Written 28-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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If Logan is called back, he will have no choice. The Army doesn't accept excuses. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. I'll be curious to see what happens. judi
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Finally home, sweet home with her three boys and the joy of a familiar place. I hope you will give Mac some break before you push her back to action: Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Finally home, sweet home with her three boys and the joy of a familiar place. I hope you will give Mac some break before you push her back to action: Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from equestrik
This is a good write even by itself. The character list was great for a reference. It seems there is a well connected group here who have come together to help McKenzie including her two dogs.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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This is a good write even by itself. The character list was great for a reference. It seems there is a well connected group here who have come together to help McKenzie including her two dogs.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ayan3
This is a very fun story to read and it kept me on the edge of my seat and I was truly amazed by how well you write and I hope you write more stories like it.
Sincerely, Ayan
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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This is a very fun story to read and it kept me on the edge of my seat and I was truly amazed by how well you write and I hope you write more stories like it.
Sincerely, Ayan
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RShipp
I am slightly surprised that 'police' don;t answer there phones- even if they are in love.
Enjoyed the reads so far. Looking forward to the last installments.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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I am slightly surprised that 'police' don;t answer there phones- even if they are in love.
Enjoyed the reads so far. Looking forward to the last installments.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Veenbee
I know I am coming in late. You have good story development. I see clearly the picture you are painting with your words. I only wish I had a summary of how she got all her injuries. I read through with the question of what happened? How did we get here. You mentioned Logan struggles with her injuries which was good, but it would have helped me, a late comer to know in one sentence how she got them. I liked what I read so far. Thank you. Veenbee
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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I know I am coming in late. You have good story development. I see clearly the picture you are painting with your words. I only wish I had a summary of how she got all her injuries. I read through with the question of what happened? How did we get here. You mentioned Logan struggles with her injuries which was good, but it would have helped me, a late comer to know in one sentence how she got them. I liked what I read so far. Thank you. Veenbee
Comment Written 24-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
The story is rolling along nicely and the plot thickens. The characters are still very real and believable. Their conversations are smooth and natural. Well done!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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The story is rolling along nicely and the plot thickens. The characters are still very real and believable. Their conversations are smooth and natural. Well done!
Comment Written 23-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're quite welcome.
Comment from Ben Colder
You are closing this in toward a great love story allowing the problems to be the guide.
My daughter has two Rock Hugh things 140# each. They roam her fence line on their farm.
Great dialog, good drama and the ribs, takes a long time.
Excellent Barb.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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You are closing this in toward a great love story allowing the problems to be the guide.
My daughter has two Rock Hugh things 140# each. They roam her fence line on their farm.
Great dialog, good drama and the ribs, takes a long time.
Excellent Barb.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed this chapter. You made it sound the way I would imagine it would for Mac homecoming. I think most be would be nervous about going back where so much took place. It pain and tears seem very realistic. The dogs are healing and everything is winding down. It is apparent that Logan and Mac are crazy about each other. I look forward to the two finaly chapters.
Beth
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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I enjoyed this chapter. You made it sound the way I would imagine it would for Mac homecoming. I think most be would be nervous about going back where so much took place. It pain and tears seem very realistic. The dogs are healing and everything is winding down. It is apparent that Logan and Mac are crazy about each other. I look forward to the two finaly chapters.
Beth
Comment Written 23-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
Nice work on another enjoyable chapter. You always please the reader. *smile* I do picture this couple as enjoying a lovely life together as they age - you know? You've created that background beautifully. Kudos!
Some notes on this one, if I may:
1.) She put her arms around his neck and held tight. He returned the hold for as long as she needed it..
--> extra period
2.) Logan set her down beside the couch. "Do you want to see if the Cardinals are on?"
--> um... in the floor?
3.) "Let me sit so I can get a better look at Edger's wound. Is it healing all right?"
--> Ahhhh... so she was still standing! That was not clear at all. I even read that line to my husband and asked him if I said this, where do you think the person is, and he said, the floor. I did not get that she was standing -- between these two places - can you work that out?
4.) A rap on the door sounded and in walked, Simon, Jose, and Trey.
--> no comma before Simon
5.) Then he quickly got up. "Mac, let me help you sit. Do you want to sit on the couch or would a chair be better?"
--> I get this - and probably no one else in the world will call you on it, but he is so attentive to her every need. As I'm picturing it, quite a while ago, she said something about wanting to sit -- and only NOW he's going to try to help her sit? After all these people have come in and after all these convos and after the dogs? Ummmm... no. *smile*
That's it. You're doing a great job - I can't imagine trying to accomplish this with a full-time job. You go -- you're my hero! Thanks!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Barbara,
Nice work on another enjoyable chapter. You always please the reader. *smile* I do picture this couple as enjoying a lovely life together as they age - you know? You've created that background beautifully. Kudos!
Some notes on this one, if I may:
1.) She put her arms around his neck and held tight. He returned the hold for as long as she needed it..
--> extra period
2.) Logan set her down beside the couch. "Do you want to see if the Cardinals are on?"
--> um... in the floor?
3.) "Let me sit so I can get a better look at Edger's wound. Is it healing all right?"
--> Ahhhh... so she was still standing! That was not clear at all. I even read that line to my husband and asked him if I said this, where do you think the person is, and he said, the floor. I did not get that she was standing -- between these two places - can you work that out?
4.) A rap on the door sounded and in walked, Simon, Jose, and Trey.
--> no comma before Simon
5.) Then he quickly got up. "Mac, let me help you sit. Do you want to sit on the couch or would a chair be better?"
--> I get this - and probably no one else in the world will call you on it, but he is so attentive to her every need. As I'm picturing it, quite a while ago, she said something about wanting to sit -- and only NOW he's going to try to help her sit? After all these people have come in and after all these convos and after the dogs? Ummmm... no. *smile*
That's it. You're doing a great job - I can't imagine trying to accomplish this with a full-time job. You go -- you're my hero! Thanks!
Comment Written 23-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. I have made the changes. I make sure people know she's standing. LOL
