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Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Water"
With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking

11 total reviews 
Comment from AJ McCall
Excellent
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Under a waterfall? That sounds dangerous... Liz and Linda are sure encountering dangerous just trying to get out of a cave. I hope all of those girls get out and find Cloud and One Who Laughs. (I love the name Cloud.) I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2020


reply by the author on 01-Sep-2020
    Thank you for your loyalty to the girls in your review. I researched caves in this area. I watched you tubes for hours. Wow, very scary traveling. The next episode is very emotional.
Comment from Veenbee
Excellent
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The subject content is eye opening. I see the movies but never thought more beyond that...it's the movies. But I know better. People are abducted all the time. Its important we travel in groups whenever possible. This world isn't safe.

I like when you said, "A familiar salty sensation filled her mouth. Anxiety was a familiar companion." That's a nice description.

I noticed a typo in, "If we're were going to get stuck"
Nice work. Veenbee


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
    Thank you for your involved review. Feel free to catch up by going to my profile. It isn't important to do a review. Just enjoy it. There is hardly a calm moment in this entire story. The next episode is more about the epidemic problem of missing or murdered women and teens. I was teary as I wrote it.
Comment from Anne-Marie brison
Excellent
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Dear author,



Sage led everyone in a prayer that the Great Creator watch over the three friends and all of those missing, that they either escape or are found and rescued. Then they began the litany of names of the beloved missing, family and friends.

With the sage still smoking, each passed by to gather the smoke, waving it over their head, heart, and body for a cleansing of the darkness. Light and hope were restored when Spring Blossom announced they were just a short way from the end of this cave trek.

People began looking around for the exit. There appeared to be none. Others were washing away their tears with the sacred waters.

With anxious faces in front of her, Spring Blossom sensed their yet unspoken question. "The opening to the next tunnel is under the falls and then only a few more caverns to pass through and we'll be seeing daylight."

With mixed reactions and emotions, they prepared themselves for the falls. They put their shoes back on and formed a line, readying to enter the water just little a few paces ahead. Neither Liz nor Linda had ever been this close to a drumming waterfall and certainly never beneath one....

Awesome job!!


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
    Thank you for your involved review. Feel free to catch up by going to my profile. It isn't important to do a review. Just enjoy it. There is hardly a calm moment in this entire story. The next episode is more about the epidemic problem of missing or murdered women and teens. I was teary as I wrote it.
Comment from Ayan3
Excellent
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That was an amazing story and I hope you can write more stories and I also could not stop reading it and I hope you get the recognition you need for this story.

Sincerely, Ayan

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
    Please feel free to catch up with this story by reading them on my portfolio. It is not necessary to do a review. Just enjoy it. I'm pleased with your appreciative review. There is hardly a calm moment in the whole story.
Comment from equestrik
Excellent
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This is so heart wrenching for these girl but what a blessing to be rescued and to have a culture to provide hope and comfort and peace in their beliefs and rituals. Thank goodness for those things that keep us grounded and give hope.

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
    Please feel free to catch up with this story by reading them on my portfolio. It is not necessary to do a review. Just enjoy it. I'm pleased with your appreciative review. There is hardly a calm moment in the whole story.
reply by equestrik on 25-Aug-2020
    Thank you
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Excellent
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Such mindblowing adventures in the caves! Are they finally coming out of them? They have to pass under the thundering waterfalls to get to the other tunnel, I hope they'll all be alright. But Cloud and One who Laughs are still missing. What happened to them?

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
    I appreciate your involved review. This epidemic of disappearances and murders will be one of the major features next episode. I was teary as I wrote it.
reply by Marjon van Bruggen on 26-Aug-2020
    Welcome to the review
Comment from Ben B.
Excellent
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Well this got me on the edge of my seat. Sounds like you're getting ready for the climax in your story. I've got to say, putting "spiritual elements" in your story was a nice touch.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
    Thank you for your involved, appreciative review. Feel free to review the story in my portfolio. It is not necessary to write a review for everyone. Just enjoy them. There is barely a calm moment in this whole story,
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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You did a great job with this chapter, Liz. Initially I was wondering why you called it water but after just a few sentences I realize why you did so. Water is indeed sacred and should definitely be thanked for. Eyes of the Owl, desperately need to share her information, especially when others in the group knew Rabbit, Cloud and One Who Laughs. You descriptions make the reader feel they are there, traveling with them. Great job.



 Comment Written 24-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
    Wow. Thank you for such an uplifting review. I'm so glad it created that effect for you.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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I like that the girls are able to pray and unite together that way, so that they can gain courage and together look forward with hope to gaining a safe exit out of the caves. I can't comment on the ritual as I know nothing about Native traditions. I wish there was a little more showing and less telling.

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
    Thank you for your supportive involved review. I'm glad you are appreciatiing it.
    Thank you for your involved review. Feel free to catch up by going to my profile. It isn't important to do a review. Just enjoy it. There is hardly a calm moment in this entire story. The next episode is more about the epidemic problem of missing or murdered women and teen. I was teary as I wrote it.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The story is rolling along nicely and the plot thickens. The characters are still very real and believable. Their conversations are smooth and natural. Well done!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
    Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you see the patterns.
reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 22-Aug-2020
    You're welcome.