A Wish
Thought of having no chance.2 total reviews
Comment from Leo Stefanos
I love how gently you described this moment.
My favourite line is your opening - "Raven hair brushing against your shoulders." Beautiful imagery. Powerful opener.
With a brevity poem like this, often less can be more. You've managed to do that quite well but I'd suggest adding more depth to the piece by showing instead of telling. Hope that helps :)
Keep writing!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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I love how gently you described this moment.
My favourite line is your opening - "Raven hair brushing against your shoulders." Beautiful imagery. Powerful opener.
With a brevity poem like this, often less can be more. You've managed to do that quite well but I'd suggest adding more depth to the piece by showing instead of telling. Hope that helps :)
Keep writing!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thanks for the read and suggestion. I will look into your thought.
Comment from Oscar J. Perez
If this is really a love for eternity what a love story that would be. That's how it happened for me too. You're not sure if they really like you at first, but thanks be t your sister for introducing you do again and having the best time with your significant other that night. Love it a lot
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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If this is really a love for eternity what a love story that would be. That's how it happened for me too. You're not sure if they really like you at first, but thanks be t your sister for introducing you do again and having the best time with your significant other that night. Love it a lot
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Pleased I was able to touch a loving moment for you. Thanks for your read and review.