Expressing Myself
Viewing comments for Prologue "Somebody do Something!"Writing my way out of depression / mental illness
3 total reviews
Comment from mrsmajor
My review of your view...
There is no question that the man in the white house Now!
should be on the outside of the white house...in January!
I'd love to be able to speak highly of the now sitting president, but truth doesn't let me...sad isn't it, the American people deserve better...Thanks for your one line contest entry...I loved it. Good luck in the contest.
Warmly,
Victoria
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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My review of your view...
There is no question that the man in the white house Now!
should be on the outside of the white house...in January!
I'd love to be able to speak highly of the now sitting president, but truth doesn't let me...sad isn't it, the American people deserve better...Thanks for your one line contest entry...I loved it. Good luck in the contest.
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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I believe that this is it for him Not another twelve years. His pitootie will be in prison for a while Thank you so much for your generous review and your thoughts!!
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You're very welcome, yes I do so believe his "pitootie" belongs in jail..it might be a good idea for him to just quit, but I know he'd never in his arrogant life even imagine doing such a thing.
Comment from lightink
Hi, to be specific...everybody vote home out! (Also, possibly take him to court...) I very much share the sentiment of this poem. I like the slight sarcasm of this. Since it's in the one line poetry contest, I wanted to let you know that on my pad this definitely seems to be two lines.
Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Hi, to be specific...everybody vote home out! (Also, possibly take him to court...) I very much share the sentiment of this poem. I like the slight sarcasm of this. Since it's in the one line poetry contest, I wanted to let you know that on my pad this definitely seems to be two lines.
Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much! Will you please see if it?s okay now? I changed it.
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I love the way you used even more colorful imagery...however, now this shows up as 4 lines on my screen!
I'd say that the old version fulfilled the one line poem requirement a little better. I'd recommend keeping it under 16 syllable if you can and picking somewhat smaller font.
Only for this specific contest.
However, poetically I really like what you did with this.
The contest description gave this one as an example:
"My Dogma
While I was in church last night, my dogma ate my homework."
So it's supposed to be a quick and witty thing.
So let me play with your theme for a sec:
White house paradox (title)
(The poem)
How can a criminal fight crimes for us?
The emphasis is on keeping it short with a bit of a punch.
Your version is wonderful just not for this specific contest...
Warmly,
J
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-line poem, Somebody Do Something, uses seventeen words and begs us to vote the worst president in history out of office. Okay.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
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This one-line poem, Somebody Do Something, uses seventeen words and begs us to vote the worst president in history out of office. Okay.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
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I?m glad we?re on the same page. Thank you😊