Bicycle Built for Two
A rhyming poem with no poetic style40 total reviews
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your poem is so descriptive, including vivid details to paint a picture of the "sassy" woman. If I saw her, I'd recognize her! The speaker must wonder why she was on a bicycle with another guy! LOL!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Your poem is so descriptive, including vivid details to paint a picture of the "sassy" woman. If I saw her, I'd recognize her! The speaker must wonder why she was on a bicycle with another guy! LOL!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Janice, thank you for your review and yes the writer would question that tandem visual. LOL
Comment from elchupakabra
[She would be the one/remove]
With auburn locks and wearing red socks,
This line doesn't really fit the rest of the piece it's just so long and awkward, if you cut off the beginning though it smooths out the whole piece. Other than that I thought it was a really good piece. Great work, thanks for sharing, later daze.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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[She would be the one/remove]
With auburn locks and wearing red socks,
This line doesn't really fit the rest of the piece it's just so long and awkward, if you cut off the beginning though it smooths out the whole piece. Other than that I thought it was a really good piece. Great work, thanks for sharing, later daze.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Good input! Thanks
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Raul thanks!
Comment from zanya
Such a fun read this lovely Rhythm Poem for the contest - some quaint language enhancing the ambiance ''cranking away/bucking a stiff breeze' and a superb visual
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Such a fun read this lovely Rhythm Poem for the contest - some quaint language enhancing the ambiance ''cranking away/bucking a stiff breeze' and a superb visual
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Zanya, thank you!
Comment from Vanna1
I don't think it has a good rhythm. The flow is bumpy. I think the rhyming might hinder your entry. But out of the contest rules your poem is quite fun to read and the theme is entertaining.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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I don't think it has a good rhythm. The flow is bumpy. I think the rhyming might hinder your entry. But out of the contest rules your poem is quite fun to read and the theme is entertaining.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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I do, very much, appreciate your comments, thank you.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written rhythm poem about a couple who are working together like cyclers on a tandem bicycle working together o keep going to reach the end of the journey.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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A very well-written rhythm poem about a couple who are working together like cyclers on a tandem bicycle working together o keep going to reach the end of the journey.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Sandra!
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A fun offering for this unusual contest - love the theme of a policeman watching the interactions of the folks on the street... ;) :) I would say that I found it a bit difficult to discover your rhythm here although the sprinkling throughout of rhyme was quite attractive... :) :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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A fun offering for this unusual contest - love the theme of a policeman watching the interactions of the folks on the street... ;) :) I would say that I found it a bit difficult to discover your rhythm here although the sprinkling throughout of rhyme was quite attractive... :) :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Yvette, I found not following any defined rhythmic style very challenging,.
Comment from writer_13
I found your poem amusing. The words flowed well and I enjoyed the description of the girl. I liked the picture you chose too. I am assuming that the guy who is looking for his sassy lassie is on a single bicycle while she is on a bicycle for two. Good Job!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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I found your poem amusing. The words flowed well and I enjoyed the description of the girl. I liked the picture you chose too. I am assuming that the guy who is looking for his sassy lassie is on a single bicycle while she is on a bicycle for two. Good Job!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Writer what a nice assumption to consider...
Comment from Lennie Conrad
I enjoyed the sentiment of this poem. I think the only corrections that might help are grammatical. For instance, the last line might read better as, "Not even I- though I'm a copper!"
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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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I enjoyed the sentiment of this poem. I think the only corrections that might help are grammatical. For instance, the last line might read better as, "Not even I- though I'm a copper!"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Lennie thanks I will give it another look over.
Comment from gramalot8
You have a cute storyline for your poem and the picture is a good choice. As a reader, I felt it a little less of a rhyming poem and more of a free verse eithe the rhythm and flow. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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You have a cute storyline for your poem and the picture is a good choice. As a reader, I felt it a little less of a rhyming poem and more of a free verse eithe the rhythm and flow. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thanks made a few revisions. Thanks!
