Pappa's Memories and Ramblings
Viewing comments for Chapter 92 "Destiny to Humility "Poems, Rants, Short Stories and Ramblings
3 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Excellent and highly relevant content, here. Perfect match with the cartoon comic...so apt and puts things in perspective.
This flows well. I strongly recommend NOT capping every word. it's a bit distracting!
Suggest:
Lacking humility,
cruel realities,
pave destiny!
Since it reads as one sentence, this works better. Otherwise, the reader has to think, on first read, about the form.
Just my two cents. An optional edit.
A strong entry! Good luck!
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2020
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Excellent and highly relevant content, here. Perfect match with the cartoon comic...so apt and puts things in perspective.
This flows well. I strongly recommend NOT capping every word. it's a bit distracting!
Suggest:
Lacking humility,
cruel realities,
pave destiny!
Since it reads as one sentence, this works better. Otherwise, the reader has to think, on first read, about the form.
Just my two cents. An optional edit.
A strong entry! Good luck!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 08-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the time to read and review this poem offering. All are suggestions appreciated. Blessings.
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Blessings! :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry is in good form, Mystery Writer. Your syllables are correct, the image is a good choice, and your message is strong and true.
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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Your contest entry is in good form, Mystery Writer. Your syllables are correct, the image is a good choice, and your message is strong and true.
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 06-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the Rating, Support and Encouragement. Blessings to you.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, because of the political nature of this, and it Covid-19, kids implications, I think it will do well with the parents and grandparents of FanStory who fear for their little ones safety.
Good idea for the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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Hmm, because of the political nature of this, and it Covid-19, kids implications, I think it will do well with the parents and grandparents of FanStory who fear for their little ones safety.
Good idea for the contest.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2020
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Thank you for Review, Support and Encouragement. Yes, I wrote 2 fifteen syllable poems for the recent contest and opted for the other posting for that reason.