Delivery
70 words15 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
What a cute contest entry, Mystery Writer. I enjoyed reading it. I felt like this was a 'real' delivery about to take place. Great, unexpected ending.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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What a cute contest entry, Mystery Writer. I enjoyed reading it. I felt like this was a 'real' delivery about to take place. Great, unexpected ending.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 29-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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Thanks for your review Jan. Glad you enjoyed.
Comment from LisaMay
Clever story - the twist from truckdriver to child's play works well, but perhaps "godforsaken hole in the wall" is overly adult-speak, but maybe he heard his dad say that.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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Clever story - the twist from truckdriver to child's play works well, but perhaps "godforsaken hole in the wall" is overly adult-speak, but maybe he heard his dad say that.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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Thanks for your review. I have changed that "godforsaken...".
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You'll need to pop back in and spell the new word properly. I guess you meant to type "outback", not "ouyback".
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is a very short flash fiction in 70 words, I like the work; I am not sure I have understood the theme of the fiction, may be it about a dream effect; thank you for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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This is a very short flash fiction in 70 words, I like the work; I am not sure I have understood the theme of the fiction, may be it about a dream effect; thank you for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 29-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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Thanks for your review. It's just a kid using his imagination whilst playing lego. Takes me back.
Comment from Carlos' girl
Aawww! John. "Time for bed!". Too cute.
Nice poem that evokes a sweet image of John, his mother's voice in the background. Love it.
Now, write a much longer, sprawling story of John's adventures
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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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Aawww! John. "Time for bed!". Too cute.
Nice poem that evokes a sweet image of John, his mother's voice in the background. Love it.
Now, write a much longer, sprawling story of John's adventures
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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Thanks for your review. I see you haven't been a member for long. Welcome aboard
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Thank you. I joined this July
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
I can see and feel your reaction to Mama calling. This is a great entry for the 70 Word Flash Fiction writing prompt. I hope it does well in the contest. Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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I can see and feel your reaction to Mama calling. This is a great entry for the 70 Word Flash Fiction writing prompt. I hope it does well in the contest. Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
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Thanks for your review. Mums seem to have a habit of interrupting imaginative play
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Very true!
