Comment from Melissa Russell Deur

Excellent

I was wondering where this was going since it was all going so well. This woman--despite being based in Charlotte, NC--seems to have a bias against employees from the "deep South." She seems so careful to word her advice, so I was surprised how brutal she was at the end: "People with short, fat, dumpy necks..."

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2020

Well Melissa--her words actually made my day. I could see the irony in the whole thing. I actually did go out with her on a later visit. Actually a nice lady.

Comment from UpNorth

Excellent

THis was so much fun to read. Flowed well, dialogue believable and Cynthia was astute but kind. Then the zinger at the end. Did you mean for the last line to have sexual connotations? Maybe try, "Earth to Bill....Come down sir, ...come down." to stay out of that context.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020

Hi--thanks for reading and your kind feedback. I'll take a look at the close...certainly didn't mean anything sexual. Long time ago, but my memory was one of humor. I smiled at her comment. I suppose I could appreciate the irony. By the way, we did date once after this. No big story there, but we still keep up with one another via Facebook!

Comment from Becky Kern-Taylor

Excellent

I usually don't read stories but this one was pretty short so it was a go for me. Well, I am so glad I read your story because it was very good and pictorial, I was with you the whole way, I even had the parties cast and saw it on the screen. Very enjoyable.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020

Thanks for reading and your kind review. I used to be on FS frequently, but do most of my writing these days outside of the platform. Appreciate you!

Comment from elchupakabra

Excellent

I'm a stickler for dialogue, I feel like parts of this could use some very minor re-works just to make it sound more natural (read aloud) and like a real conversation you'd have with someone. However, it was still well written and I liked the surprise ending with the call to reality. Thanks for sharing, good luck in the contest, later daze.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020

Thanks for the feedback and comments. I usually do read my work out loud before posting. Didn't to it this time, so I'll take a second look. Bill

Comment from Mastery

Exceptional

And you said nothing to her with that remark of hers?? Wow! What a rude thing to say...no matter all of the other praises, that would have negated everything for me. So, what did you say....or did you slink off into the sunset like a good little pup? Please say no. Good writing Bill, that is for sure. : ) Bob
















;

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020

Bob--her comment actually made my day. I could see the total irony of the whole thing. Oh year, all is good...she had a cute butt!

reply by Mastery on 29-Jul-2020

Good eye, my friend. : )Bob

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed your contest entry. Your words flow smoothly at a good pace. The dialogue is interesting. You developed your charaters well.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan

Sisters, Cousins-->no capitals

It's not [ no ] longer there, but the good thing is that you don't replace it with something else. You
kudo's--->kudos
station wagon--->no capitals

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020

Thanks for reading Jan and for the spots. I appreciate both!

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your contest entry. It flowed smoothly with made for an ease of writing. My youngest son has been doing job interviews and I was helping him dress for the interviews. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020

Hi Barbara--the artwork I used is dated, but still helpful. Best of luck to your son. I'm sure an exciting time for him. Bill

Comment from Susan Larson

Excellent

Such a fun read. I found in my job hunting, back when I wanted a job, that it's just a game you play and everyone's rules seem to be different. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020

Thanks for reading and for your comments. I used to interview a lot, and don't think I ever was comfortable with an interviewing style. Not scientific, but still a strong believer in 'gut feel'. Bill

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written true story flash. The lady was very honest and complimenting the man for his good taste in dressing himself until!the last comment still honest but not do much complimenting.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020

Thanks for reading and your kind feedback!

Comment from humpwhistle

Exceptional

Great entry for the contest, Bill. I like your self-deprecation, and the vulnerability you use to add to the relaxed tension--we all know there is some sort of reckoning coming, and you lead us to it deftly, and without overstated drama. Well done.

This lady's tact, however, could use a bit of a brush-up.

Best of luck with the Committee, Bill.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020

Thanks for reading and your generous review! She may have lacked tact, but a real cute butt!