Looking for Orion - 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Alive and Well - part 3"Brothers fight for faith ... and for their lives.
11 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Bednar
excellent... just racing to catch up with these chapters as I was on vacation... seems Cody might be a little "love struck"... Again - the brothers relationshiop is so special and the dialogue is always natural and smooth!
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2020
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excellent... just racing to catch up with these chapters as I was on vacation... seems Cody might be a little "love struck"... Again - the brothers relationshiop is so special and the dialogue is always natural and smooth!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2020
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Hope your vaca was amazing. :) Come back rested or ready to hit the pavement and work or both? I'm always rearing to get back to work. (There ight be something wrong with me... lol)
Blessings,
Deb
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I just am busy getting ready for "at home" schooling. I am trying to get all organized and have not junk drawers or closets - no clutter. Giving lots away and throwing lots away. My sons legos and Connects are now all sorted into appropriate boxes - EVERY LITTLE PIECE. (I may be getting a little crazy about all of this. I should tease them and tell them I want all the books in alphabetical order HA HA HA
Comment from robyn corum
Deb,
I liked this chapter. I had wondered about any kind of love interests. This is s great introduction for a love interest for Cody. You can tell right off that he's had it. haha Nice work. Thanks!
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Deb,
I liked this chapter. I had wondered about any kind of love interests. This is s great introduction for a love interest for Cody. You can tell right off that he's had it. haha Nice work. Thanks!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Hi Robyn. Love interest? Hmm ... I'll have to think about that.
lol. Yep, he's smitten, isn't he.
Thank you for reading. Glad you're still following the story.
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from Ulla
Hi Debora, the story is continuing and I like where it is going. I also like the dialogue. It's very natural and to the point. Now we need a bit of romance or am I already detecting that? All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Hi Debora, the story is continuing and I like where it is going. I also like the dialogue. It's very natural and to the point. Now we need a bit of romance or am I already detecting that? All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Hi again, Ulla. Romance? Hmm... It could happen. :)
Thank you! Appreciate you reading and commenting. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from AJ McCall
Oh..... I feel we may have a new 'item'. Lol! I love the setting, it's perfect as usual, and the dialogue is good. I think the spacing in certain areas needs to be tightened up a little bit more, and between some lines of the characters. Also you said Abby smiled down, I think 'Abby smiled down 'at him. (It could just be me.) And you said she stood when there was no mention of her sitting or kneeling. I love the part where Cody was thinking of all the jokes Jack would've love to say at the moment. Can't wait for chapter 31!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Oh..... I feel we may have a new 'item'. Lol! I love the setting, it's perfect as usual, and the dialogue is good. I think the spacing in certain areas needs to be tightened up a little bit more, and between some lines of the characters. Also you said Abby smiled down, I think 'Abby smiled down 'at him. (It could just be me.) And you said she stood when there was no mention of her sitting or kneeling. I love the part where Cody was thinking of all the jokes Jack would've love to say at the moment. Can't wait for chapter 31!
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Hi AJ. are you talking about physical spacing as in , lines and extra spacing between words? Or 'line spacing' as dialogue between characters needs to be tightened up? Sorry -- been playing single mom for a week since my daughter went out of state. She'll be back in THREE DAYS, thank GOD! I'll look at the other issues you mentioned. :)
THank you for the exceptional rating! I appreciate it.
Be blessed,
Deb
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Yes and actually both. I'm glad she'll be returning. You're welcome! :)
Comment from Mastery
Hi Deb. This is one hundred percent better a sto overuse of adverbs. I noticed you used a couple and that is okay of course. Very well done..especially up to this point below:
"
"Oh! You don't even know me,do you. I'm so sorry. I'm Dr. Abby Kitman. I'm not actually on your case, (Just I'm not really on your case" would be fine , eliminating the word "ly" actually.
And here: "Abby smiled again, magically changing back into the breathtaking ....." Try Abby smiled again, as if by some magic changing etc etc.."
But, as I said, much better, my friend. Now sttick to it. : ) Bob
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Hi Deb. This is one hundred percent better a sto overuse of adverbs. I noticed you used a couple and that is okay of course. Very well done..especially up to this point below:
"
"Oh! You don't even know me,do you. I'm so sorry. I'm Dr. Abby Kitman. I'm not actually on your case, (Just I'm not really on your case" would be fine , eliminating the word "ly" actually.
And here: "Abby smiled again, magically changing back into the breathtaking ....." Try Abby smiled again, as if by some magic changing etc etc.."
But, as I said, much better, my friend. Now sttick to it. : ) Bob
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thanks Bob! :)
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You are always welcome Deb. :) Bob
Comment from roof35
Another good chapter and more good news about Cody. I wonder if you are setting up a little romance. Cody could use it. Well written, interesting story.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Another good chapter and more good news about Cody. I wonder if you are setting up a little romance. Cody could use it. Well written, interesting story.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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THank you, Root. I am definitely setting up something. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from royowen
Do you think that you are developing a relationship between Cody and Abby Kitman? But we've still got two deadly Lehman brothers, although two are disposed of, perhaps the others will rue the day they met the McLellan bros. Beautifully written Deb. Blessings. Roy
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Do you think that you are developing a relationship between Cody and Abby Kitman? But we've still got two deadly Lehman brothers, although two are disposed of, perhaps the others will rue the day they met the McLellan bros. Beautifully written Deb. Blessings. Roy
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Roy. :)
Have a great upcoming week, Blessings,
Deb
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You too Deb
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL, you can hear what's going through Jack's mind, Debs, and so can Cody. But, I can also hear what's silently going through Cody's mind, too, but he'll feel guilty about having those thoughts and will deny them as long as he can. It looks like Cody is out of the woods now and will make a full recovery, physically, at least. Mind you, Jack might have some stress problems after this, as well. Another excellent chapter, my friend, well done!! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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LOL, you can hear what's going through Jack's mind, Debs, and so can Cody. But, I can also hear what's silently going through Cody's mind, too, but he'll feel guilty about having those thoughts and will deny them as long as he can. It looks like Cody is out of the woods now and will make a full recovery, physically, at least. Mind you, Jack might have some stress problems after this, as well. Another excellent chapter, my friend, well done!! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much for the exceptional rating, Sandra! I do appreciate you always. :)
Oh - Gabi put my headphones on the other day and listened to a couple of our animal chapters. I got to watch her face and listen to 'ohhh', 'ahhh', 'wow!', etc. It was a delight for me. Thank you for that. I will try to video it next time and send it to you. It was amazing to watch. :)
Thank you again,
Blessings for this upcoming week,
Deb
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Well, this post moves the story along very nicely. It is so good to see that Cody is making a recovery, and that Jack seems more relaxed. I'm keeping a careful eye on theses boys--ha ha
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Well, this post moves the story along very nicely. It is so good to see that Cody is making a recovery, and that Jack seems more relaxed. I'm keeping a careful eye on theses boys--ha ha
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Always good to have someone keeping an eye out for my boys. :)
Thanks, Rebecca!
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ha, ha, ha is Cody falling for doctor Abby? That will be interesting to see :'She doctor', you patient' like an old Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan. " Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Ha, ha, ha is Cody falling for doctor Abby? That will be interesting to see :'She doctor', you patient' like an old Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan. " Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Hi Iza. I liked that line, too, and it sounds like my youngest son. He's the king of sarcasm, kinda like Jack. :)
Blessings this upcoming week,
Deb
