Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "First Breath"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
12 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for adding your 5-7-5 to Gypsy Blue Rose's Renga. It links in well, and I admired the artwork you selected and your presentation. Continue to have a productive, new week- Joan
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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Thank you for adding your 5-7-5 to Gypsy Blue Rose's Renga. It links in well, and I admired the artwork you selected and your presentation. Continue to have a productive, new week- Joan
Comment Written 20-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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Yes, I am enjoying this book of Renga! Glad you liked this piece I contributed. It's been fun.
Comment from Cindy Decker
June,
A lovely autumn poem. I love the sunshine and foliage of autumn; then comes winter which at times can be dark and desolate.
Beautiful 5 -7-5 poem, June. Good luck in the contest, and all that you write,.
Cindy
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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June,
A lovely autumn poem. I love the sunshine and foliage of autumn; then comes winter which at times can be dark and desolate.
Beautiful 5 -7-5 poem, June. Good luck in the contest, and all that you write,.
Cindy
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 20-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much for your positive comments.
Comment from rama devi
Perfect addition that widens the lens from the evening to the context of Autumn shifting to Winter! I'm wondering what will come next...and I'm thinking of adding a two liner to this, if someone doesn't beat me to it!
Love the personification here. Fine imagery and excellent word economy. I especially applaud the medley of B and cousin-P sounds in fine counterpoint with all the Ls and the alliterated F.
Almost a six. The only critique I have is how the enjambment is made slightly awkward using OF to start line two. Not sure how to remedy that, but it's the reason I did not award a six. Nonetheless, I LOVE THIS!
Bravo.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Perfect addition that widens the lens from the evening to the context of Autumn shifting to Winter! I'm wondering what will come next...and I'm thinking of adding a two liner to this, if someone doesn't beat me to it!
Love the personification here. Fine imagery and excellent word economy. I especially applaud the medley of B and cousin-P sounds in fine counterpoint with all the Ls and the alliterated F.
Almost a six. The only critique I have is how the enjambment is made slightly awkward using OF to start line two. Not sure how to remedy that, but it's the reason I did not award a six. Nonetheless, I LOVE THIS!
Bravo.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thank you! Always leaning- that?s what I?m here for.
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Yes~~!~~
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku and an excellent addition to the Renga book if multiple Authors. When the birds care leaving we know winter is coming when they are coming back we know spring will be here soon .
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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A very well-written haiku and an excellent addition to the Renga book if multiple Authors. When the birds care leaving we know winter is coming when they are coming back we know spring will be here soon .
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Mark D. R.
June,
A terrific scene accompanies your Haiku verse. Both are synced together in a wonderfully wrapped package. Wrapped and silken robes is a most expressive phrase. One senses the golden light in the autumn too.
Your satori takes on a slightly different nuance if rewritten as: it's winter's first breath.
Mark
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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June,
A terrific scene accompanies your Haiku verse. Both are synced together in a wonderfully wrapped package. Wrapped and silken robes is a most expressive phrase. One senses the golden light in the autumn too.
Your satori takes on a slightly different nuance if rewritten as: it's winter's first breath.
Mark
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thank you for dropping by to share your thoughts and insights!
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
This is an excellent Haiku. We wish that you entered this in a contest because it would certainly be a winner. The picture accompanying this poem is absolutely lovely and makes for a beautiful presentation. Simply put this in an exceptional poem, so sorry that we didn't have a 6 тн? review to give you. Have a wonderful night.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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This is an excellent Haiku. We wish that you entered this in a contest because it would certainly be a winner. The picture accompanying this poem is absolutely lovely and makes for a beautiful presentation. Simply put this in an exceptional poem, so sorry that we didn't have a 6 тн? review to give you. Have a wonderful night.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Glad you enjoyed this piece. Thank you for dropping by! I appreciate the positive feedback.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, June,
Thank you very much for your addition to our renga book. It's very well written.
PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THE FOLLOWING TO YOUR AUTHOR NOTES
If you want to add a chapter, please copy and paste the following to your author notes....
Renga is Japanese collaborative poetry in which alternating stanzas, of 5-7-5 stanza and 7-7 couplets are linked in succession by multiple poets. The most famous renga master was Matsuo Basho.
Guest poets check the last stanza in the renga book to know what to write next.
Try not to repeat words from one stanza to the next.
Renga starts with first chapter, Pigeon Plum Flowers a #1-- 5/7/5 haiku.
Followed by a #1-- 7/7 couplet that relates to #1 haiku
Followed by a #2-- 5/7/5 stanza that relates to #1-- 7/7 couplet
Followed by a #2-- 7/7 couplet that relates to #2-- 5/7/5
.....repeated up to 100 stanzas Source: Wikipedia
To contribute to this book, just click on the icon ADD CHAPTER. If you need help, please contact Gypsy Blue Rose. You post your poem as usual but it will be part of the book. you can edit it and add a picture if you like. A copy will go to your portfolio and you keep your reviews.
The language is often pastoral, incorporating words and images associated with seasons, nature, and love. In order for the poem to achieve its trajectory, each poet writes a new stanza that leaps from only the stanza preceding it. This leap advances both the thematic movement as well as maintaining the linking component. Source: Poets.org
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Hello, June,
Thank you very much for your addition to our renga book. It's very well written.
PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THE FOLLOWING TO YOUR AUTHOR NOTES
If you want to add a chapter, please copy and paste the following to your author notes....
Renga is Japanese collaborative poetry in which alternating stanzas, of 5-7-5 stanza and 7-7 couplets are linked in succession by multiple poets. The most famous renga master was Matsuo Basho.
Guest poets check the last stanza in the renga book to know what to write next.
Try not to repeat words from one stanza to the next.
Renga starts with first chapter, Pigeon Plum Flowers a #1-- 5/7/5 haiku.
Followed by a #1-- 7/7 couplet that relates to #1 haiku
Followed by a #2-- 5/7/5 stanza that relates to #1-- 7/7 couplet
Followed by a #2-- 7/7 couplet that relates to #2-- 5/7/5
.....repeated up to 100 stanzas Source: Wikipedia
To contribute to this book, just click on the icon ADD CHAPTER. If you need help, please contact Gypsy Blue Rose. You post your poem as usual but it will be part of the book. you can edit it and add a picture if you like. A copy will go to your portfolio and you keep your reviews.
The language is often pastoral, incorporating words and images associated with seasons, nature, and love. In order for the poem to achieve its trajectory, each poet writes a new stanza that leaps from only the stanza preceding it. This leap advances both the thematic movement as well as maintaining the linking component. Source: Poets.org
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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OK. Will copy and paste per instructions.
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Thank you
Comment from Eternal Muse
Gorgeous imagery here, superb visuals. I liked the metaphor of autumn being wrapped in "silken robes."
A stunning presentation and artwork. I enjoyed reading this.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Gorgeous imagery here, superb visuals. I liked the metaphor of autumn being wrapped in "silken robes."
A stunning presentation and artwork. I enjoyed reading this.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Thank you for sharing your insights!
Comment from Mrs. KT
So lovely, June!
I love the progression of the offerings found in the multi-author book! We are now definitely headed to autumn, and what a lovely farewell you have created! Kudos!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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So lovely, June!
I love the progression of the offerings found in the multi-author book! We are now definitely headed to autumn, and what a lovely farewell you have created! Kudos!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Thank you for sharing your insights!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and
presentation, June.
-You are definitely
enjoying this project:)
-A well written haiku
that meets all of the requirements.
-Good nature and seasonal
imagery with autumn and winter.
-Very good color imagery and
description of autumn in line one.
-A good satori line, too!
-Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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-Nice image and
presentation, June.
-You are definitely
enjoying this project:)
-A well written haiku
that meets all of the requirements.
-Good nature and seasonal
imagery with autumn and winter.
-Very good color imagery and
description of autumn in line one.
-A good satori line, too!
-Well done.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Thank you for sharing your insights!
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You are welcome!