Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Winged Frenzy"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
24 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
What a clever continuance dear, with your imaginative garnet gems! This is dramatic...a different kind than the storm. Well-weighed word choices, especially the verb IGNITES!
Your entry to this book is one fire!
Hugs,
rd
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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What a clever continuance dear, with your imaginative garnet gems! This is dramatic...a different kind than the storm. Well-weighed word choices, especially the verb IGNITES!
Your entry to this book is one fire!
Hugs,
rd
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Much appreciation, rd!
Thank you!
I've never participated in a creative exercise like this. The only drawback is that I have noticed that reviewers of my contribution and others' contributions often read a poem in isolation and have no idea the intent of the renga. A bit disappointing...
So it goes!
Thank you again!
diane
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Yes, I was guilty of that until today, when I read and reviewed each in succession, and then added my own! I loved your addition, dear!
Hugs,
rd
Comment from The Death
Excellent word economy as you have used each syllable well. Strong imagery. Fine use of alliteration. I liked the images you presented here. Nice use of alliteration in the last line. Fine presentation.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Excellent word economy as you have used each syllable well. Strong imagery. Fine use of alliteration. I liked the images you presented here. Nice use of alliteration in the last line. Fine presentation.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Good Morning, The Death!
So pleased you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from UpNorth
I liked yur image of winged frenzy, but garnet gems pecked to death made me see broken bird beaks . I have seen birds attack a mountain ash, a cherry and an elderberry for the fruits. I like garnet as an indication of a deep, juicy red.
How about : Garnet fruits? Garnet gems, oh juiciness!
I hope this was helpful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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I liked yur image of winged frenzy, but garnet gems pecked to death made me see broken bird beaks . I have seen birds attack a mountain ash, a cherry and an elderberry for the fruits. I like garnet as an indication of a deep, juicy red.
How about : Garnet fruits? Garnet gems, oh juiciness!
I hope this was helpful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Hello Lynn,
Thanks for stopping by.
No, your review isn't very helpful as you write that you like garnet and then suggest: Garnet fruits? Garnet gems, oh juiciness!
I live in what is called the "Cherry Capital of the World."
Those cherries are garnet gems to us, and the birds oftentimes peck them to their death. When the cherries fall to the ground, they still are shining.
This couplet is a tag on to the previous haiku in the renga.
diane
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Thank You for your explanation. I see what you mean. They are not pecking the stones, just the fruit OFF the stones. Got it. Thank you for writing back.
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I see what you mean, nw. the fruit is pecked OFF the stones-not the stones, just the flesh of the cherry. Thank you for yur explantion- now it works for me.
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If you read my Author's Notes, you will see what the intent of my contribution is to the renga and the haiku that preceded my couplet. Each offering in this multi-author work builds on the previous offering.
Comment from royowen
I love what seen of this collaboration Diane, I've been invited to join, but I wouldn't know where to begin, it confuses me so much, I guess it'll be finished when it's finished, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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I love what seen of this collaboration Diane, I've been invited to join, but I wouldn't know where to begin, it confuses me so much, I guess it'll be finished when it's finished, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Roy!
diane
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Bless you
Comment from Margaret Bednar
Ah, the beauty and gore of nature! They are still beautiful laying prostrate upon the ground! I'm enjoying the words as much as the images in this series. ! Nicely penned
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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Ah, the beauty and gore of nature! They are still beautiful laying prostrate upon the ground! I'm enjoying the words as much as the images in this series. ! Nicely penned
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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Hello Margaret!
A bit gory... yes!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Debbie Pope
Even though I said that I was not reviewing any more today, I could not resist reviewing this one. More birds and murder! That is so funny. You are in a murderous, but oh so lovely, mood. I love your garnet gems in the orchard. I have to admit that I did not read the 5-7-5 post that preceded yours. That wasn't necessary for me to see the craft put into your response. It's a beautiful frenzy.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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Even though I said that I was not reviewing any more today, I could not resist reviewing this one. More birds and murder! That is so funny. You are in a murderous, but oh so lovely, mood. I love your garnet gems in the orchard. I have to admit that I did not read the 5-7-5 post that preceded yours. That wasn't necessary for me to see the craft put into your response. It's a beautiful frenzy.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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Hah! Debbie!
This is such a creative exercise! You should join in the fun!
A beautiful day here today in the "cherry capitol of the world!"
Take Care!
diane
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I did not know that little fact about Traverse City. I want to see your cherry trees. I bet they are beautiful.
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Oh, they are beautiful, Debbie!
We have none on our property = too wooded. But we are surrounded by them on Old Mission Peninsula. Breathtakingly beautiful when they bloom in May = acres of them!
Take Care!
diane
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are engaging, interesting and creative. The poem
flows and connects well. The artwork is great and compliments both
the theme and words of this poem.
Have a great weekend!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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The author's words are engaging, interesting and creative. The poem
flows and connects well. The artwork is great and compliments both
the theme and words of this poem.
Have a great weekend!
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020
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Hello harmony!
So pleased you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Spitfire
A most interesting form. I want to go back to the start and figure how if the contributions make sense. I read a few and really like this one which could stand alone. It creates a feeling of horror with word choices: frenzy, ignites, pecked to death. Not a good way to die.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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A most interesting form. I want to go back to the start and figure how if the contributions make sense. I read a few and really like this one which could stand alone. It creates a feeling of horror with word choices: frenzy, ignites, pecked to death. Not a good way to die.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Hello Spitfire!
So pleased you enjoyed!
You should join in the project as well! Creative and enjoyable!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Mrs. KT you did a fine job here, providing the rules let you do an 8&6 in place of a 7&7! ( Both make 14 )
The picture you found to illustrate your poem is perfect!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Dear Mrs. KT you did a fine job here, providing the rules let you do an 8&6 in place of a 7&7! ( Both make 14 )
The picture you found to illustrate your poem is perfect!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Hello Suzanna!
Glad you enjoyed:
Both lines contain 7 syllables as required:
Winged/fren/zy/ig/nites/or/chard =7
Gar/net/gems/pecked/to/their/death = 7
Join in the fun!
Take Care,
diane
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ah ha I figured out that I was making 2 syllables out of
wing-ed
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Ah Ha! I counted first word as 2 syllables ! Wing-ed
Better go to bed
Comment from rspoet
Hello Diane,
This is an excellent addition to Gypsy's book with great imagery
of the "winged frenzy." I've witnessed that chaos many times, often
with robins attacking thousands of holly berries in early spring.
The second line has an interesting contrast with the berries demise
at the beaks of the birds.
Well done.
Great picture to match.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Hello Diane,
This is an excellent addition to Gypsy's book with great imagery
of the "winged frenzy." I've witnessed that chaos many times, often
with robins attacking thousands of holly berries in early spring.
The second line has an interesting contrast with the berries demise
at the beaks of the birds.
Well done.
Great picture to match.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 17-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Hello Robert!
So pleased you enjoyed!
We are in the midst of cherry season here in Traverse City!
Delicious chaos oftentimes!
Thank you!
diane