Sleep
A Peppered Pickle35 total reviews
Comment from LaRosa
and ain't that the truth?
Give her peace and blow a great kiss, she'll be back!
Our sound on the computer doesn't work but I can just hear Roy's voice as it peals so hauntingly in the air. A great choice.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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and ain't that the truth?
Give her peace and blow a great kiss, she'll be back!
Our sound on the computer doesn't work but I can just hear Roy's voice as it peals so hauntingly in the air. A great choice.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Thanks you, dear LaRosa. So glad you enjoyed my silly poem. I hope you'll try one! Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
Comment from Gloria ....
What a terrific peppered pickle, Sally. All the cross rhymes and end rhymes are in the right place, and your poetic logic is impeccable.
So true, to set the muse out on the window sill so the author can some much needed sleep.
My pleasure to read and review today. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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What a terrific peppered pickle, Sally. All the cross rhymes and end rhymes are in the right place, and your poetic logic is impeccable.
So true, to set the muse out on the window sill so the author can some much needed sleep.
My pleasure to read and review today. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Ah, thank you. You and Dolly helped so much. I have revised it a bit this morning with some suggestions from Dolly. Thank you again for your help and constant encouragement. (These metered forms don't come easy for me.) I'll keep at it. Prose came first and I fell into poetry quite by accident. ;)
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
Comment from royowen
One of the things essential to everyday internal harmony is sleep, fortunately I can sleep very well wherever I am, ot doesn't take much, I'm generally laid back any way, beautifully written friend Sally, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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One of the things essential to everyday internal harmony is sleep, fortunately I can sleep very well wherever I am, ot doesn't take much, I'm generally laid back any way, beautifully written friend Sally, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Amen. I am having trouble sleeping (related to my vision) and now have had an injury along with shingles which are giving me grief. I take herbs to help induce sleep but can't seem to stay asleep all night. People who are blind have trouble sleeping because of the amount of light that gets into the eye. I must get messed up because oftentimes I sleep better during the day. I'm trying not to stress about it and take one day at a time. Anyway, it makes for a fun poem. :))
So glad you enjoyed it.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo
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I?ll pray Sally
Comment from lyenochka
Loved this! Yes, so many of us can relate to the lack of sleep when we are entertaining some writing inspiration! You totally rocked the form, Sally! Great job and great theme!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Loved this! Yes, so many of us can relate to the lack of sleep when we are entertaining some writing inspiration! You totally rocked the form, Sally! Great job and great theme!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Ah, thank you so much. Both Dolly and Gloria gave me some help and now it is improved. It's amazing what a little tweaking does for the meter. Thank you for the constant encouragement and support in all my work, dear Helen.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo's.......
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Very nice editing! Reads so smoothly now!
Congrats on the 2nd place in the Story of the Month!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written peppered pickle about sleep that's not far away but when our minds are over active the luxury of sleep seems unreachable when we cannot switch off our minds.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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A very well-written peppered pickle about sleep that's not far away but when our minds are over active the luxury of sleep seems unreachable when we cannot switch off our minds.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much for the lovely review and kind encouragement. I've had this in edit for weeks. I decided to finally let it go. Thanks, again.
Sal xoxos.....
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sal.
You did a fine job with the peppered pickle style. I like the narrative describing the desire for sound sleep. It is a problem for this day.
You included a song by a man I believe had one of the greatest singing voices ever. Listen to his song: "In Dreams."
PAL Z :~)))
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Hello Sal.
You did a fine job with the peppered pickle style. I like the narrative describing the desire for sound sleep. It is a problem for this day.
You included a song by a man I believe had one of the greatest singing voices ever. Listen to his song: "In Dreams."
PAL Z :~)))
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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I'm so glad you enjoyed this and the song, too. I love the quality of Roy Oberson's voice. I listened to "In Dreams" while I was perusing YouTube. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
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You're welcome.
Roy cold have been an opera singer with that voice.
PAL Z :~)))
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fun peppered pickle, not quite in meter, but nevertheless your message comes over loud and clear here Sally, I hate it when I don't get a good night's sleep, I spend the rest of the day tired! Much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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A fun peppered pickle, not quite in meter, but nevertheless your message comes over loud and clear here Sally, I hate it when I don't get a good night's sleep, I spend the rest of the day tired! Much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thank you, dear Dolly. I appreciate the kind review. Feel free to offer any suggestions on my meter if you have a moment. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
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I tried to keep to your originate words as much as possible Sally, but maybe:
Sleep,
a place too far from being still,
my head to chill, and lie in bliss,
and sweep my muse out on the sill,
to rest and blow a tender kiss.
as inspiration has great cost,
especially when sleep is lost.
Love Dolly x
Comment from Laurie Holding
Well, this is just marvelous. I love seeing structure within poetry, and I studied this for a long time. Thank you for putting it in your author notes; it's an inspiration for me to try my hand at it! Meanwhile, the content and message of your poem shine through, even while working within the fairly rigid/jigsaw kind of restrictions. Well done!
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Well, this is just marvelous. I love seeing structure within poetry, and I studied this for a long time. Thank you for putting it in your author notes; it's an inspiration for me to try my hand at it! Meanwhile, the content and message of your poem shine through, even while working within the fairly rigid/jigsaw kind of restrictions. Well done!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much, dear Laurie. I appreciate the excellent review and kind comments. This was first attempt at this. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I will fan you now.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
Comment from Debra White
Hi Sally,
I enjoyed your poem very much.
I had a night like this last night...just couldn't sleep. I think my muse turned up and was whispering secrets and ideas - I should've written some of them down because I just can't grasp a thought today... I put it down to over-tiredness!!
Best wishes as always :)
Debra x
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Hi Sally,
I enjoyed your poem very much.
I had a night like this last night...just couldn't sleep. I think my muse turned up and was whispering secrets and ideas - I should've written some of them down because I just can't grasp a thought today... I put it down to over-tiredness!!
Best wishes as always :)
Debra x
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Thank you, dear Devra. I've been working on my poetry since I saw our last. Prose came first for me and was my first love. I must say, I am loving poetry more and more. So glad you enjoyed this and I'll watch for yours.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is great, Sally. I enjoyed reading it. Your topic of sleep is well-expressed. I like the idea of blowing a kiss to your muse on the window sill. You are right about how many times one's muse keep them awake or stirs in their mind and sleep won't come. Your image is perfect for your well-chosen words. It reads well with great imagery--not sure about the meter. The video is a great addition.
Thanks for sharing
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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This is great, Sally. I enjoyed reading it. Your topic of sleep is well-expressed. I like the idea of blowing a kiss to your muse on the window sill. You are right about how many times one's muse keep them awake or stirs in their mind and sleep won't come. Your image is perfect for your well-chosen words. It reads well with great imagery--not sure about the meter. The video is a great addition.
Thanks for sharing
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Yes, I have repaired the meter thanks to some loving input from Dolly and Gloria. If you remember, I sorta fell into poetry after being in prose for so long. I do love poetry though, and all my dear poetry friends. It's been such a great learning experience. Four of my poems are going in a third edition poetry book. Who would have ever thought...? Thanks so much for the encouraging review. I hope to try more new forms. I have a tendency to stick with Nonets, Douvle Nonets, and Freestyle. I've tried a few others, but my brain caught fire.
Sending you my best today as always, dear Jan.
Sal xoxo
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IPlease forgive me if I seemed sharp. I did not want to say 'change this or that' as I knew it was your work not mine. You are a talented writer in all genres.
