Bridezilla and the Superglue
What's important31 total reviews
Comment from prodigal
Simple problems have simple solutions. Sounds like a fun wedding. Wouldn't have worked if my friend Julie had been one of you. Her feet stank! How was the reception? Shoes on for dancing or off?
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2020
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Simple problems have simple solutions. Sounds like a fun wedding. Wouldn't have worked if my friend Julie had been one of you. Her feet stank! How was the reception? Shoes on for dancing or off?
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much for the excellent review and personal comments, Prodigal. It was very kind of you to stop and review my work today and I thank you very much.
Sending my best today as always,
Sally :)
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
Nice piece of Humor Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and depicting the Moral implied theme in an impressive way.
Picture and the last four lines are particularly noteworthy.
LAUDABLE Attempt!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Hello Friend,
Nice piece of Humor Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and depicting the Moral implied theme in an impressive way.
Picture and the last four lines are particularly noteworthy.
LAUDABLE Attempt!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much!!
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Hi, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I vote for bare feet. It works for me. I enjoyed reading this contest entry. It flowed well and was easy and fun to read. Thank you for sharing with us and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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I vote for bare feet. It works for me. I enjoyed reading this contest entry. It flowed well and was easy and fun to read. Thank you for sharing with us and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much for the excellent review of my work.
Comment from sibhus
This is a very inventive take on the contest. And your character really does sound like a bridezilla. A well written interesting piece that makes for an excellent entry for the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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This is a very inventive take on the contest. And your character really does sound like a bridezilla. A well written interesting piece that makes for an excellent entry for the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much. :)
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ha, Ha, ha good one, barefoot or not the glue for the wedding my work for a meeting. I bet the surprised look of the mother-in-law seeing her walking barefoot to the altar. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Ha, Ha, ha good one, barefoot or not the glue for the wedding my work for a meeting. I bet the surprised look of the mother-in-law seeing her walking barefoot to the altar. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from A. Louise Robertson
Simply delightful. So many of us can get inside of the makeup room with the bride in your story, having been there either for ourselves or for other brides. I loved the outcome of the entire wedding party going barefoot.
Your expertise at writing dialog is just perfect in this story. You pull the reader in and then we speed along as we can't wait to find out what happens.
Good job and good contest entry. You have my vote.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Simply delightful. So many of us can get inside of the makeup room with the bride in your story, having been there either for ourselves or for other brides. I loved the outcome of the entire wedding party going barefoot.
Your expertise at writing dialog is just perfect in this story. You pull the reader in and then we speed along as we can't wait to find out what happens.
Good job and good contest entry. You have my vote.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much!
Comment from __Lou__
Hi,
Good job on the story, I really enjoyed it, it did end rather speedily, and the incident was kind of swept under the rug. I don't know the word limit for this comp so I can't say much but I would have liked a bit more of the story fleshed out, and when she says she doesn't even know if she wants to marry this guy??? 'but all was well in the end' kind of doesn't fit right with me, could use just a few more sentences of dialogue to explain her cold feet and why she said this? There are a few more suggestions below.
"Gina has to have Superglue" - took me a few reads to understand what you were saying. this is just one of those sentences that doesn't read like it speaks. Consider changing it, maybe "Gina should have superglue".
"edge and started in on me." - bit confusing what you're trying to say here and the 'Oh no' doesn't really fit well for me.
"shoe; and Gina," - I think you've mixed up the punctuation, probably it's more correct to use the semicolon where the comma is eg "show, and Gina; her purse." I could be wrong but either way, the semicolon seems out of place and should be replaced with a comma.
Other than that I really enjoyed this piece. It was better than some of the others I've read for this comp and I think you've got a good chance here. Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Hi,
Good job on the story, I really enjoyed it, it did end rather speedily, and the incident was kind of swept under the rug. I don't know the word limit for this comp so I can't say much but I would have liked a bit more of the story fleshed out, and when she says she doesn't even know if she wants to marry this guy??? 'but all was well in the end' kind of doesn't fit right with me, could use just a few more sentences of dialogue to explain her cold feet and why she said this? There are a few more suggestions below.
"Gina has to have Superglue" - took me a few reads to understand what you were saying. this is just one of those sentences that doesn't read like it speaks. Consider changing it, maybe "Gina should have superglue".
"edge and started in on me." - bit confusing what you're trying to say here and the 'Oh no' doesn't really fit well for me.
"shoe; and Gina," - I think you've mixed up the punctuation, probably it's more correct to use the semicolon where the comma is eg "show, and Gina; her purse." I could be wrong but either way, the semicolon seems out of place and should be replaced with a comma.
Other than that I really enjoyed this piece. It was better than some of the others I've read for this comp and I think you've got a good chance here. Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Thank you.
Comment from write hand blue
Hi there, An interesting tale of a lady who suffers a loose heel off her shoe just before her wedding is due. A most traumatic time I'm sure. Well enough written to be a contender in this contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Hi there, An interesting tale of a lady who suffers a loose heel off her shoe just before her wedding is due. A most traumatic time I'm sure. Well enough written to be a contender in this contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much!
Comment from Cindy Decker
Sally, nice wedding day jitters poem. I really did not know where this story was going, but I loved the surprise ending! I know it was an effective part of her character, but I was a little dismayed that this bride to be intended to 'maybe' make this marriage work.
Anyway, lovely, funny poem about friendship.
Best wishes,
Cindy d.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Sally, nice wedding day jitters poem. I really did not know where this story was going, but I loved the surprise ending! I know it was an effective part of her character, but I was a little dismayed that this bride to be intended to 'maybe' make this marriage work.
Anyway, lovely, funny poem about friendship.
Best wishes,
Cindy d.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much.
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I?m sorry I may have mentioned your name...
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Shoes rarely break but you can guarantee that if they do, it is on a special occasion! This made me smile as superglue comes in handy, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Shoes rarely break but you can guarantee that if they do, it is on a special occasion! This made me smile as superglue comes in handy, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much.
