Comment from tempeste

Excellent

Seashores definitely deserve the prize for best dads

They do all the work and with attentive care

It's sad to know that those that capture seahorses to sell as tokens or to use in Chinese traditional remedies, kill millions of pregnant fathers ..they are left to dry slowly in the sun ..

I enjoyed your poem ..seahorses are magical ..

Great rhyme horse-course

And the ha ha closing line

Riderless equine is cool

The word ....race .... I'm not that convinced

Sea horses are one of the slowest moving creatures in the world .. they propel / move slowly forward using the dorsel fin and to steer /stay on the desired course, they use their pectoral fins placed on both sides of its head behind their eyes

So STEERS would make more sense to me .. but then we both know how I love to split hairs ( biggrin)

One more point I noticed in many of your poems , including this one , you use articles ( the , a ) often

Seeing you prefer short formats , you should use every syllable to its max, right?

So in this case instead of

The seahorse

Use an adjective .. cute , cool, quiet, odd , bright , jade( with a pic of a seahorse that colour , of course)

Or you could leave the adjective option to use a two syllable verb instead like

pursuits

Thoughts?

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Tempeste,

Those seahorses are not fast, but even in the Aesop?s tale, the tortoise and hare had a race (-; Those pesky a and the adjectives is something I do try to avoid. Your suggestions are good, but ... I would IMHO be forcing the adjective to agree with the illustration. We both know that our poems should stand without the artwork if it is to be effective. And we both realize that often the artwork does indeed raise the presentation value of our verse. I recognize it as an advertisement to catch the attention of the reader. I know the photograph in this instance is an eye catcher. My hope it will entice reviewers to read and then vote for my entry.

As always, you keep me honest. I cherish your comments.

Ciao,

Mark

reply by tempeste on 20-Jan-2021

Cute, cool, quiet, odd , bright would have gone with any seahorse artwork , including the one you chose for your entry

Only using jade you would have had to chose a seahorse that was that colour

Most of the times when you use .... the and a .. you could have chosen instead a interesting adjective that would have enriched the artwork you had chosen without having to change it ..

I?ll make a little note when I come across the next A or THE you use ( biggrin) and suggest an adjective that goes fine with the artwork YOU picked.

By the way your 5-7-5 are very impressive .. you made giant leaps in this format ..

Good part of your entries are brilliant /fine poetry.

Keep safe Marco!

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Mark,

Cute!! Some members of my family - my youngest daughter, her hubs, myself, and my two grandgirls (4 and 2) - went to the Tennessee Aquarium. It was so cool. One of the exhibits featured tiny little live seahorses. A couple were swimming, but most of them were collected in groups (like cliques) and holding on tightly to the underwater vegetation.

I was pointing out the tails to my little ones and we were all just fascinated! Thanks for this sweet reminder. Have a happy day!

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

So glad you shared info about your grandkids Robyn. My grandsons are 2017 and 2019 births, so they bracket yours! My identical twin granddaughters are 2012 births. With the older ones we have been with them on visits to science museums. Pandemic protocols have minimized our personal visits to see them.

Mark

Comment from joycetreasures

Excellent

Hello Mark,
I am an artist and was painting a fish aquarium. I needed another species to add to the fish tank. Wola!! I will add a seahorse to my canvas of fish, which is beautifully displayed in your colorful artwork. Thanks for the author notes about the seahorses. Nicely written 5/7/5 poem.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Joyce,

Thanks for all those compliments on my seahorse post. Do you post on FanArt or can you send me a link to your painting if online?

Mark

reply by joycetreasures on 19-Jan-2021

No, Mark, I don't post on FanArt. Here's a link to my website:
www.joycetreasures.com

Thanks

reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021

Joyce,

Without paying a fee, might I use your artwork for a future FanStory post? If I can, I will credit your website in my author?s note. If not, THANKS for sharing your website info with me.

Stay safe. Keep healthy.

Mark

reply by joycetreasures on 19-Jan-2021

Of course. I hope to eventually get on FanStory with my art work. Thank you Mark.

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

I love your poem is so joyful and made me laugh because there is no rider for this majestic little horse:) "
between seaweed fronds
the seahorse races its course ~
riderless equine" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thanks Iza!

Apparently this ?horse? race pleased you (-; THANKS for your review and good wishes for this upcoming contest.

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

LOL!! A fun one and soothing at the same time -- such a relaxing thing to watch a tank of these little guys!! ;) You know, one of the authors here is writing a book focused on seahorses: aryr's book about fairy, Ry, has them as a main portion of the plot. :) ;) Thanx for sharing, sir! ;) Yvette

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Yvette,

Is 'aryr' the author's name? if not, please share. I am curious about his book.

Mark

reply by Y. M. Roger on 07-Jul-2020

Yep. Author's name.

Comment from Margaret Bednar

Excellent

I consider the male seahorse a true gentleman :) I was in an aquarium (Charleston, SC in fact) and stood mesmerized in front of the seahorse exhibit for about 30 minutes (also trying to get the perfect photo...) I like the alliteration in your 5-7-5.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020

Thanks Margaret for your review, comments, and stars. One can believe these small creatures are a wonder to see (at an aquarium). Sometimes the males surprise us with their chivalry (-;

Mark

Comment from Janetsue

Excellent

I love seahorses and being introduced to different varieties. You've posted an excellent 5-7-5 entry in the contest with a super picture, Mark. It is a joyful presentation with a successful message and visual appeal.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020

Thanks Janet for your review, comments, and stars. The seahorse is not a good swimmer. He uses his tail to navigate his seabed course.

Mark

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Exceptional

5-7-5 (tween the seaweed fronds)
fantastic fish factoid
by Mark D. R.

Hello, Mark,

Beautiful entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry Contest. Great imagery. Well connected lines. Nice presentation. You should do well in the contest.

Gypsy

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020

Thanks GBR for your six-star rating and your good wishes in the contest voting. Strange that you knew my name because it was undisclosed author contest. However, maybe your fanship with me alerted you to my identity. Regardless, I do appreciate your regular support of my poetic style.

Based on my Internet search, seahorse courtship and mating take on a new meaning about how life is formed. Apparently, the female seahorse has successfully transferred her pregnancy pain to her mate LOL

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 06-Jul-2020

I saw your name.... I don't know what happened. I wish human women could transfer birthing pain to the husband lol

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I must confess I have never seen a seahorse in its natural habitat. Your picture as well as your 5-7-5 help me envision this seahorse "racing" along in the ocean's depths. Rod

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020

Rod,

Thanks for your review. In searching for an appropriate picture or artwork for the seahorse, I discovered this unusual fish factoid. I guess the seahorse courtship just raced along (-;

Mark

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020

Rod,

FYI

Here?s another factoid I just discovered:

A Horse Only in Appearance ? Seahorses? heads look like horses? heads, and that is about where the similarities end. Horses are athletic, and well adapted to swift travel across land. Seahorses do not hold the same adaption in the sea, in fact they are very poor swimmers. Instead, they rely upon their prehensile tails to keep them from being swept away.

reply by RodG on 05-Jul-2020

I really enjoy your glee of discovery, Mark. Thanks for sharing. Rod

Comment from Father Flaps

Excellent

Aren't they something, Mark? They are like the hummingbird. They make us marvel.
Good inner rhyme with "horse/course" in your 5-7-5 poem.
But the magic comes in with "riderless". You always think a horse needs a rider. It comes from watching too many westerns, I think!
Good imagery, ('tween the seaweed fronds").
Thanks for sharing!
Cheers,
Kimbob

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020

Yo Kimbob!

I rode a lot - both English and Western saddle - but never saw any riderless horses except in a corral. Pleased you picked up on my rhyme, which honestly I did not intentionally do. I guess that is why poetry is so fascinating: some will find hidden nuances in the written words.

THANKS for your review and regular support for my 5-7-5 poetic style.

Mark