Comment from A. Willow Bends

Excellent

I apologize for not having a six. This is wonderfully done. So many changes in our lives and you have captured one piece of it with astounding clarity and insight. The poetic aspect is wonderful, gentle, a bit sad and quite well written. I love it.
Wendy

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks for your amazing excellent review and your encouraging remarks. I am glad that you found the poem so moving; I think that's a tribute to the work I put into it. This is a sad one but I wanted to capture something of the people being left behind in the world, ignored by media. estory

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written poem and tribute to the coworkers in the manufacturing of fabrics that faded out over the years and left many people without a job and they have to seek other income to feed their families.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks so much for your excellent review and for your interesting perspective on the poem. I am glad that the experience of loss came through in the imagery and that the poem was able to convey the feelings of the workers and the inhabitants of the town as they are left behind by the world. estory

Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.

Excellent

You did a wonderful job portraying the old fabric mills. It's a shame that these mills were sacrificed to progress, and the skills no longer handed down to new generations.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting the poem. I am glad that so many people were moved by the images of the workers being left behind by the world. estory

reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 07-Jul-2020

You're welcome. I feel so sorry that these skills are thrown by the wayside.

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

Hi estory, I loved this poem that describes the desolation and the despair of so many when they were laid off with no concern to their survival and that of their families. The unconcerned train emphasizes the deep trauma and the sorrow of it all. One of your best work. All best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks again for the six star review and for your comments supporting this poem. Your continued support is much appreciated. estory

Comment from ameen786

Excellent

"Fading figures"-my friend, you penned a beautiful story-poem with vivid imagery of the tragic closures of many factories all over the U.S; the real tragedy is, while the owners of these factories get bailed out with our taxes, the workers, the real people impacted by these closures suffer; I thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting the poem. I am glad that the poem seemed to capture these feelings of the workers being left behind by the world. Having gone through a bankruptcy myself, i think it was a little easier to put those feelings into words. Its always easier to write from experience. estory

Comment from Eternal Muse

Exceptional

What a remarkable sad story of something that was in the abundance, is now in ruins. The tale of thousands of workers "leaving their houses for the rivers." The towns ruined by bankruptcy. Amazing visuals, I can almost see these people moving away leaving tears and devastation.

Great descriptive imagery throughout.

Reading this brings the song by Frank Sinatra " A cottage for sale", one of my favorites:

" Our little dream castle
with every dream gone
Is lonely and silent,
the shades are all drawn..."

"... The lawn we were proud of
is waving in hay,
Our beautiful garden
Has withered away..."

A powerful work.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks again for the six star review and your perspective on the poem. Its always great to hear how a piece brings up all these contingent songs and memories in people. I love it when they take flight and take on lives of their own. estory

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Threads pt. 2: Fading Figures
by estory

Hello, estory,

Beautiful free verse poem in tribute to your coworker and all the people who fall victims of a failed society section. Well done.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks so much for the continued support of my work and for the comments celebrating this piece. I am glad that the emotions came through in the rhythms and imagery and that people found themselves connected to these left behind people. estory

Comment from rama devi

Exceptional

Wonderfully nostalgic and simultaneously haunting, especially the last two stanzas, which I read aloud twice:

Memories of weddings and baptisms
seem worn into the dresses
hanging in the closets

While the train whistle hangs in the air
as the train passes the station,
on its way somewhere.

The consonance of S sounds lacking all the above lines gives a sense of hush, like an empty town! Brilliant!


The E, F and M sounds in the first stanza are outstanding too, and the W alliterated here:

Their once proud workers
wandering off

one suggestion:

once-proud

The closing 'somewhere' almost echoes an AHA. Wow.

A six--for the combination of phonics and atmospheric effectiveness!

Warmly,
rd

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks again for the exceptional review and its so nice to hear from you again. Hope all is well and that i can get a chance to read some of your new work. Miss you around here! estory

reply by rama devi on 07-Jul-2020

Aw, thanks. Ive not been posting much these days. May try to write one soon...

Warm Smiles,
rd

reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

I'll look for it. I'm going to post a short story soon written from the point of view of a young woman; I had to really push hard to create my heroine as a male writer, and I would be interested in knowing your opinion of how I did. The story will probably post in a couple of weeks and will be titled American Pioneer. estory

reply by rama devi on 07-Jul-2020

I'm reviewing here only intermittently, so please send me an email when you post it: ramadevinina@yahoo.com

Warmly, rd

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Excellent metaphor in your opening sequence, e. The thread does fade just like once thriving communities built around industry become ghost towns.

Excellent the the train still threads through the countryside even though there's nowhere to stop there.

I love your haunting tones and what seems to me to be paradoxical as soon decentralization will become central again as machines take over work once done by the human workforce.

An enjoyable work and pleasure to read today. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for these encouraging remarks supporting the poem. I am glad that the images seemed so haunting, especially that train going past the town. Leaving the workers behind. The poem had a poignant theme and i guess alot of people felt a connection to the loss suffered by the workers here. estory

Comment from Anne-Marie brison

Excellent

Dear Author,



excellent job!! awsome!!!!! thanks sooo much for sharing this!! wonderful job!!! may God bless you!!!! keep writing!!!!!

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020

Thanks so much for your enthusiastic, five star review and for your support of the poem. I am glad that you found it so moving. I wanted to capture the sense of loss of these people as the world leaves them behind and I guess alot of people felt that. estory