Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This thirty-syllable poem, Between the Sheets, has the proper syllable count and discovers the good aspects of the bad weather. Nice.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020

Thanks for the read and review.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, anonymous,

Great entry for the 30 Syllables writing prompt contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. Wonderful imagery and very sensual.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020

Thank you for your read and your encouraging review. Much appreciated.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I really like what you are trying to do with these 30 syllables. But can I make a few suggestions?
Line 1. Lightning flashes, SCRATCHES the sky. (Gives you internal rhyme).
Line 2. Torrents of rain TORMENT our bedroom window. (Again adds internal rhyme).
Line 3. We cuddle CLOSELY between the silken sheets. (Cuddle loving seems redundant and awkward and you get double the alliteration)
Please accept these as SUGGESTIONS, not an attempt to write your poem.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020

Always thankful for your suggestions. I will edit accordingly.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Your poem is in good form for the contest. Good job with the syllable count, the image, and the great imagery.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020

Thanks for the read and the feedback.