Waiting...
a 200 word story24 total reviews
Comment from TommyWrites
Wow. This is kinda...sad. I'm not sure if this is even what you were going for, but it reminded me greatly of the Jews hiding from the Nazis. Never open the door. Hiding. Waiting. Hoping. I liked this despite what it reminded me of. Best of luck!
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Wow. This is kinda...sad. I'm not sure if this is even what you were going for, but it reminded me greatly of the Jews hiding from the Nazis. Never open the door. Hiding. Waiting. Hoping. I liked this despite what it reminded me of. Best of luck!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Much appreciated.
Comment from Megan3333
Even though the story is shore it was still very interesting. I live the mystery elements you have in the story as well. If anything I wish you could have explained why they were hiding. All in all though I really enjoyed it so great job.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Even though the story is shore it was still very interesting. I live the mystery elements you have in the story as well. If anything I wish you could have explained why they were hiding. All in all though I really enjoyed it so great job.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Many thanks.
Comment from lancellot
This feels like a scene from the first Purge. When the daughter at home didn't listen to her dad and opened the door. But, good use of the darkness and limits on scenery. It brought the readers focus solely on the two women. Perhaps one representing empathy and the other wisdom. The danger outside and the unknown is the balance between the two.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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This feels like a scene from the first Purge. When the daughter at home didn't listen to her dad and opened the door. But, good use of the darkness and limits on scenery. It brought the readers focus solely on the two women. Perhaps one representing empathy and the other wisdom. The danger outside and the unknown is the balance between the two.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Haven't seen the Purge. Hoped it would fit a multitude of scenarios. Many thanks.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You wrote an excellent contest entry and I enjoyed reading. You told an entire story with plenty of emotion in such a few short words. I want to wish you good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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You wrote an excellent contest entry and I enjoyed reading. You told an entire story with plenty of emotion in such a few short words. I want to wish you good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Many thanks once again, Barbara.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Awesome job and you held true to the rules of the writing prompt contest;-) Story line was perfect and precise!
I appreciate you sharing and many more blessings;-)
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Awesome job and you held true to the rules of the writing prompt contest;-) Story line was perfect and precise!
I appreciate you sharing and many more blessings;-)
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Many thanks
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;-)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was creepy! I don't think I'd have opened that door, but then again, when the voice sounded frail, I might have... I don't know though. What a story, it made me want to help, but also do what the older lady told to do, nothing! Well done, a really good story for those words. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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That was creepy! I don't think I'd have opened that door, but then again, when the voice sounded frail, I might have... I don't know though. What a story, it made me want to help, but also do what the older lady told to do, nothing! Well done, a really good story for those words. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 19-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Much appreciated. G
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is an unusual entry for the Sentence writing prompt. It should do well in the contest with its surprise ending. I wish you the best of luck!
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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This is an unusual entry for the Sentence writing prompt. It should do well in the contest with its surprise ending. I wish you the best of luck!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Many thanks for checking this one out.
Comment from sibhus
A very powerfully written piece. I like how this has an animosus feel to it as if it could be anywhere at anytime. Great entry and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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A very powerfully written piece. I like how this has an animosus feel to it as if it could be anywhere at anytime. Great entry and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Much appreciated.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an excellent story. The discordance between the position of the two women is clearly sensed, and the description is so delicately penned in that we can see all too clearly what isgoing on outside the dwelling.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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This is an excellent story. The discordance between the position of the two women is clearly sensed, and the description is so delicately penned in that we can see all too clearly what isgoing on outside the dwelling.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Cheers.
Comment from Edward Escobar
The building of tension very much alive, as if being their with them in dark, with the tense expectation of something dreadful but seconds away from invading their home
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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The building of tension very much alive, as if being their with them in dark, with the tense expectation of something dreadful but seconds away from invading their home
Comment Written 19-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Many thanks for checking this little one out.
