Looking for Orion - 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "The Flight"Brothers fight for faith ... and for their lives.
8 total reviews
Comment from Precious Owuamalam
Wonderful tale, very well-penned. I'm glad Cody is still alive. I look forward to reading the follow-up chapters.
You may want to correct the punctuation in these:
"Jack? We doing this? If not ... I'm going to lay back down.: There should be a closing quotation mark, not the colon.
from 'Fail Safe'?"" The quotation mark is redundant. You may want to remove the second one.
My very nest wishes, now and always. Cheers.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Wonderful tale, very well-penned. I'm glad Cody is still alive. I look forward to reading the follow-up chapters.
You may want to correct the punctuation in these:
"Jack? We doing this? If not ... I'm going to lay back down.: There should be a closing quotation mark, not the colon.
from 'Fail Safe'?"" The quotation mark is redundant. You may want to remove the second one.
My very nest wishes, now and always. Cheers.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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You're right about the movie/book title. I think I'll make it italics, instead. :) Thanks!
Blessings,
Debby
Comment from Margaret Bednar
I am testing out the "Wheels on the Bus go round and round..." and it's pretty much true. Most things do go with it! It is wonderful snippets like this peppered throughout your writing that I enjoy so much. I just keep on thinking how brave these two are - relying on each other - and their spirit of not giving up. I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter, as always.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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I am testing out the "Wheels on the Bus go round and round..." and it's pretty much true. Most things do go with it! It is wonderful snippets like this peppered throughout your writing that I enjoy so much. I just keep on thinking how brave these two are - relying on each other - and their spirit of not giving up. I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter, as always.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Hi! In my other life, I teach Bible at our church. We use Wheels on the Bus A LOT! Most verses will go to a kid's song, and I do believe we've used them all. lol. We've even done one to 'Do You Want to Build a Snowman', but I d don't remember the verse that we use it for right now. lol. Crazy, the things we do to get the kids to remember! Oh, Wheels and The Itsy, Bitsy Spider do a lot of them. HA!
I'll try to get the next chapter up tonight. We've been out of town for a few days, so no access to computer.
Blessings, thanks!
Deb
Comment from Ulla
Hi Debby, it may be off balance, but you certainly brought the fear, and the urgency to leave those hills very well across. So what now? Will they make it? It doesn't look good. I'll have to wait and see. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Hi Debby, it may be off balance, but you certainly brought the fear, and the urgency to leave those hills very well across. So what now? Will they make it? It doesn't look good. I'll have to wait and see. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Ah, remember -- I'm an optomit. :)
Thanks for reading and many blessings,
Deb
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Everything appears situational and circumstantially in progression; I like this chapter as usual; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thank you for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Everything appears situational and circumstantially in progression; I like this chapter as usual; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thank you for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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Thank you! I appreciate you, as always. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
I think it is a good chapter. It is solid and is all about the wounds, the pain Cody is suffering, and the efforts of Jack to try to treat his brother as well as he can to make him able to escape the dangers and get them both home. A rather difficult task when the phone doesn't work and you find suddenly that the shooters are quite near!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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I think it is a good chapter. It is solid and is all about the wounds, the pain Cody is suffering, and the efforts of Jack to try to treat his brother as well as he can to make him able to escape the dangers and get them both home. A rather difficult task when the phone doesn't work and you find suddenly that the shooters are quite near!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
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I'm glad you enjoyed, Marjon! Thanks for reading,
Blessings,
Deb
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Welcome!
Comment from lyenochka
Well, it sounds like it is going to be extra hard to get to the Bronco now. I especially liked the flashback to Katie practicing her Bible verse. And I like you can use the Wheels on the Bus for memorizing verses!
I had trouble reading the font. Somehow the letters which went below the line disappeared. What line spacing did you have?
Formatting problem at:
"mov
ement as possible in the trip down the hill. "You ready for this?"
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2020
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Well, it sounds like it is going to be extra hard to get to the Bronco now. I especially liked the flashback to Katie practicing her Bible verse. And I like you can use the Wheels on the Bus for memorizing verses!
I had trouble reading the font. Somehow the letters which went below the line disappeared. What line spacing did you have?
Formatting problem at:
"mov
ement as possible in the trip down the hill. "You ready for this?"
Comment Written 19-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2020
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Hmm ? I have no idea what font or size I used. I'll pop over ahd take a look. Thanks for the heads up. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a wonderful chapter. The plot is still moving along well. I can feel Cody's pain, and Jack's frustrations. I am looking for the next post!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2020
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This is a wonderful chapter. The plot is still moving along well. I can feel Cody's pain, and Jack's frustrations. I am looking for the next post!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2020
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Thank you, Rebecca. :)
The next bit is up there ? and I"m working on doing some reading to get member cents up there for Y'all.:) Gotta go to work for a few hours soon, but we'll see if I can make that happen.
Have a great weekend, thank you and blessings,
Deb
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That doesn't matter, I'm going to read the next part strajght away. I'm so nervous that they'll run into those crazies, and I'm not sure it Jack can handle them on his own. He has a gun and a knife, so fingers crossed he'll be okay if they do meet them. (which I'm sure they will.) Onwards to the next part! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2020
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That doesn't matter, I'm going to read the next part strajght away. I'm so nervous that they'll run into those crazies, and I'm not sure it Jack can handle them on his own. He has a gun and a knife, so fingers crossed he'll be okay if they do meet them. (which I'm sure they will.) Onwards to the next part! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 19-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2020
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Hi! So ? can I use you as a beta reader for the next part? I'd like to get some feedback before I post it because Jack does something totally out of character to get away. I"m not sure I like it, not sure I"m going to leave it in and if you dn't feel like doing this, it's perfectly okay. I'm just going to ask 2-3 people who've been reading the entire book (plus my sister, who is really unkind sometimes when I send her manuscripts! lol Which is what I need right now.) Just let me know. We're going to our daughter's house for Fateher's Day, so it will be later Sunday or Monday, either way.
thanks so much, my friend!
Blessings this weekend!
DEb
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Yes, of course I don't mind. I get to see what's going on before the others! lol.
