Swept away
A 100 word dash: A kiss between strangers7 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
hi there,
I have to say that the majority of the piece3s for the competition, all have the same basic story-line. That's not to say it isn't well-written, but it'll be a difficult voting booth for this reason.
" Apology accepted, "He said with a glint in his eyes before running off. - he (following speech tags are lower case unless a proper noun or name) Check the spacing around the speech marks as well.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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hi there,
I have to say that the majority of the piece3s for the competition, all have the same basic story-line. That's not to say it isn't well-written, but it'll be a difficult voting booth for this reason.
" Apology accepted, "He said with a glint in his eyes before running off. - he (following speech tags are lower case unless a proper noun or name) Check the spacing around the speech marks as well.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Hi GMG. Thanks for your review and assistance have changed them and yes quite a few similar ones
I wrote this before I saw any others so perhaps we all have similar thoughts Cheers
Comment from humpwhistle
A rather exhilarating encounter no doubt. I half suspect Laura of veering into the man purposely. Though should could not know of his romantic reaction.
Because you have only 100 words to work with, you might wish to refrain from using the same words again--walk/walked, passed/passing, running/runner/ran. Try some synonyms. Just a thought.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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A rather exhilarating encounter no doubt. I half suspect Laura of veering into the man purposely. Though should could not know of his romantic reaction.
Because you have only 100 words to work with, you might wish to refrain from using the same words again--walk/walked, passed/passing, running/runner/ran. Try some synonyms. Just a thought.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Hi Lee Thank you so much for your review and helpful suggestions I have made the changes and think it now does read much better
Just a bit of fun thinking up scenario for this contest
Cheers
Comment from Kathleen S.
Perfect.. romantic.. daring.. and almost uninvited.. and yet invited.. Your story fits the contest rules. It moves from mysterious to captivating to wow, what is going to happen next. Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Perfect.. romantic.. daring.. and almost uninvited.. and yet invited.. Your story fits the contest rules. It moves from mysterious to captivating to wow, what is going to happen next. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Hi Kathleen Thanks for reading and reviewing my story You have arrived at what I wanted in the text yes what will happen next ?
Cheers
Comment from lancellot
A very nice entry. Is all this random kissing okay with the entire #MeToo?
Suggestions
Looking up Laura said "Oh I am so sorry".
-should be:
Looking up Laura said, "Oh I am so sorry."
" Apology accepted " he said with a glint in his eyes before running off.
-should be:
"Apology accepted," he said with a glint in his eyes before running off.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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A very nice entry. Is all this random kissing okay with the entire #MeToo?
Suggestions
Looking up Laura said "Oh I am so sorry".
-should be:
Looking up Laura said, "Oh I am so sorry."
" Apology accepted " he said with a glint in his eyes before running off.
-should be:
"Apology accepted," he said with a glint in his eyes before running off.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Hi Lancellot Thanks for your review and assistance with punctuation have made suggested changes so Ta for that
cheers
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
This delightful flash would make for a tantalizing start to a full-fledged romance novel, should you be so inclined! Good luck in the contest. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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This delightful flash would make for a tantalizing start to a full-fledged romance novel, should you be so inclined! Good luck in the contest. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 15-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Hi Liz How nice to say that Hmmm maybe
Appreciate your review and comments
cheers
Comment from roof35
This is nicely done and meets the contest guidelines. I did note a typo that I mention as you may want to fix it. You typed "verred" I think you meant "veered." Your picture of the lady with glasses makes it easy to see her on the way to work. This is kind of a weird contest but you did it well.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
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This is nicely done and meets the contest guidelines. I did note a typo that I mention as you may want to fix it. You typed "verred" I think you meant "veered." Your picture of the lady with glasses makes it easy to see her on the way to work. This is kind of a weird contest but you did it well.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
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Thank you and yes a little weird but fun to write have corrected spelling mistake so Thanks for that Cheers
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Thank you and yes a little weird but fun to write have corrected spelling mistake so Thanks for that Cheers
Comment from Jacob David Collins
I thought this was well written, you did make me wonder if after this encounter the couple would see each other again and begin a relationship. I thought your writing flowed well. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
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I thought this was well written, you did make me wonder if after this encounter the couple would see each other again and begin a relationship. I thought your writing flowed well. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
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Hi Jacob Thanks fir your review snd yes that was the outcome I was hoping the reader would think did they meet again ?
Cheers
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Hi Jacob Thanks fir your review snd yes that was the outcome I was hoping the reader would think did they meet again ?
Cheers