Reviews from

Aiona's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 83 "Crazy Quixotic Candy-grams"
Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.

4 total reviews 
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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Aiona,
This sounds like a serious bout of tickling with the ticklee trying his/her best to use their arms to push the tickler away. I can hear the laughter on both sides.
Hope this did well in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
    Thanks, Joan. I never win any contests these days. So I stopped checking! I figure they'll let me know if I win!
reply by dragonpoet on 01-Aug-2020
    You're welcome, Aiona. Yes, they do announce the winners at the top of the homepage.
    Joan
Comment from oliver818
Excellent
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I love your explanation for this poem- science shows kids need to be tickled once a day to survive. Haha I would have died from being tickled, I absolutely hate it. Your poem is very lively and sweet, and I like the lissajous curves although I have no idea what they are. Thanks for sharing this

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
    Thanks, Oliver
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Crazy Quixotic Candy-grams
by Aiona

Hello, Aiona,

Good syllable count and connection between lines. The presentation is pretty.

The topic is misleading. Don Quixote was an old man with mental problems. He was the one who fought windmills. Dulcinea, a saucy prostitute with a curvy figure was done Quixote's love interest.

I didn't know the word Lissajous so I looked it up...it doesn't fit the poem.

Let me know if you change it and I'll change the rating.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
    Thanks for the review, Gypsy. It is okay if you don't change your rating. :) She was transgender, so the description is definitely of her.
reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 15-Jun-2020
    Oh, okay. It's a contemporary version of Quixote and is transgender? It would help if you wrote a note in your author notes. I'll change it.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
    No need to change it, Gypsy. The contest said to write a poem about a loved one. I'm not writing about Don Quixote, but a friend who identified with Don Quixote, and them poem is based off a quote she always put in her email signatures. It's just my personal ode to her, since the anniversary of her death is approaching.
reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 15-Jun-2020
    I already changed it
Comment from Mia Twysted
Good
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Crazy Quixotic Candy-grams fits the guidelines for this contest. It has the right syllable count. It is easy to read and light-hearted.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2020


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2020
    Thanks, Mia.