Night Vision
What the stars create in the longing for love23 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
The tug of how love felt unfortunately didnt quite see the light of day in your well written Nocturne poem JLR. Your central lines work well as a separate poem too. Nicely done, cheers valda
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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The tug of how love felt unfortunately didnt quite see the light of day in your well written Nocturne poem JLR. Your central lines work well as a separate poem too. Nicely done, cheers valda
Comment Written 09-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2020
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Validation, thank you, I appreciate the through reading you I took on this unique poetry style.
Comment from Bill Schott
This nocturna, Night Vision, has the proper formatting and tells of this vision that became a emotional release that had to end with the coming of a new day. Striking.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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This nocturna, Night Vision, has the proper formatting and tells of this vision that became a emotional release that had to end with the coming of a new day. Striking.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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Bill thank you very much!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Night Vision
by JLR
Hello my friend
Nice entry for the Nocturna Potlatch Poetry Club challenge. It sounds lovely when I read it out loud. Interesting presentation.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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Night Vision
by JLR
Hello my friend
Nice entry for the Nocturna Potlatch Poetry Club challenge. It sounds lovely when I read it out loud. Interesting presentation.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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I found this, my first Nocturna quite a project to tackle, thank you for your validation.
Comment from Susan Larson
What a beautiful picture and what a beautiful poem. I think all the technicalities of what kind of poem it is goes right over my head, so all I can say is that I absolutely love it!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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What a beautiful picture and what a beautiful poem. I think all the technicalities of what kind of poem it is goes right over my head, so all I can say is that I absolutely love it!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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Sussan, this being my first Nocturna was quite a challenge, but tI too felt solid with the end result, thank you for this validation.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Nocturna poem about te beautiful girl you met one night was the best thing that ever happened to you, the connection was electrifying but when the sun comes out the goddess seems to disappeared.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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A very well-written Nocturna poem about te beautiful girl you met one night was the best thing that ever happened to you, the connection was electrifying but when the sun comes out the goddess seems to disappeared.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Sandra, so very true.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
The next to the last line seems off, but maybe that is the way I am reading it. This form is new to me and mine was not so good. I do love the image you created with the wording and the form is good according to the rules
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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The next to the last line seems off, but maybe that is the way I am reading it. This form is new to me and mine was not so good. I do love the image you created with the wording and the form is good according to the rules
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Barb I think you maybe correct, I downsized it. This poetic style is most challenging for certain. I?ll be reading yours today.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Night Vision", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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"Night Vision", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Thank you dear Duchess, onward we write.
Comment from lyenochka
It sounds like a beautiful fantasy dream - the narrator fell in love with a star and in daylight, the star "melted" away. Great job using the nocturna form for this romantic night-time encounter.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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It sounds like a beautiful fantasy dream - the narrator fell in love with a star and in daylight, the star "melted" away. Great job using the nocturna form for this romantic night-time encounter.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Thank you it was a new and interesting format for me to tackle
Comment from royowen
This is an excellent post Jim, you have followed the form perfectly, this is a form similar to the Constanza and the villanelle. Beautifully written my friend, you've done a great job, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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This is an excellent post Jim, you have followed the form perfectly, this is a form similar to the Constanza and the villanelle. Beautifully written my friend, you've done a great job, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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I am very grateful for the validation on new poetic style I tackled. Words are such an amazing resource, so rich to be able to create pictures and yet subtle enough to create mystery.
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Well done
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear JLR, I enjoy reviewing when your "Potlatch Club" sends a challenge to it's members.
You successfully got the rhymes in the right places, but the one in the last stanza was a little rough, not because of the rhyme, but because of the three preceding words.
If I would suggest anything, it would only be to replace
"her whole self melt." look at your other reviews to see if anyone else was jarred by that bit.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Dear JLR, I enjoy reviewing when your "Potlatch Club" sends a challenge to it's members.
You successfully got the rhymes in the right places, but the one in the last stanza was a little rough, not because of the rhyme, but because of the three preceding words.
If I would suggest anything, it would only be to replace
"her whole self melt." look at your other reviews to see if anyone else was jarred by that bit.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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I can see where this might make the tongue stumble, so I tweaked this line. thank you much!
