Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This has been such a sad event which has ruffle the feathers of the world and there have been protests in London too. This tragic death has sparked off riots and caused chaos in towns and cities, your words are poignant, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020

Thanks for reviewing. You can tell I am upset about our fractured society.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

This is an interesting poem. On that one commandment you speak of. I've always found it ironic when someone makes a rule for others not do, but they do it, and are shocked the rule isn't followed.

I will not judge the notes, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020

Thanks for your comments. The notes are obviously my opinion but are based on factual statistics. It seems judgement has already been passed.

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Wry commentary in two lines! Apt for the times indeed--as you say, not just re George Floyd. Footnotes are excellent--you should post them as a commentary piece. Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020

Thanks for your comments. While writing the footnotes I was wondering whether I should leave the poem as is, and put the commentary as a separate posting. I guess I still can at some other time.
(On my monitor the poem shows as 3 lines. Does it really show as only 2 on yours? I wonder why that is.)

reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 06-Jun-2020

Sorry--it is three lines--I must have meant to say sentence--more likely, at 1:15 a.m. my counting skills have gone off-duty.

Comment from Lucy de Welles

Excellent

All elements here. Vivid, powerful art work to matching the vivid, powerful text. Colors firm and final. Author expressing feelings about current, relevant topic. Nothing to improve here,
Well done!

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 Comment Written 06-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020

Thanks for reviewing. You can tell I am upset about our fractured society.

Comment from Diana Kane

Excellent

Sadly your piece is an accurate picture of today's society. Clear, concise and succinct. More importantly Way too true today. Great job! Good luck in the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020

Thanks for reviewing. You can tell I am upset about our fractured society.