Intertwined
Collaborative contest entry20 total reviews
Comment from Manh C Dang
Wow! How exquisite! Two souls combined can write such a beautiful poem.The photo, also, goes perfectly with the poem. For our delight, you two should write more poems together. Good job!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Wow! How exquisite! Two souls combined can write such a beautiful poem.The photo, also, goes perfectly with the poem. For our delight, you two should write more poems together. Good job!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the great review and the big sixer, Manh. I really appreciate the generous stars, friend. We actually write a lot of stuff together. I'm glad you liked our little offering. Thank you again for the giant six.
Ron and Lynda.
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you are most welcome!
Comment from write hand blue
I like the Concept, and the presentation of the title, entwined. The reaching but not quite touching hands add a slightly desperate quality. I don't begin to understand the rules which seem complex. Despite this I think the message of two people becoming one, described as two hearts combined makes the poem worthy of a second read. Great work. ~Mel~
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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I like the Concept, and the presentation of the title, entwined. The reaching but not quite touching hands add a slightly desperate quality. I don't begin to understand the rules which seem complex. Despite this I think the message of two people becoming one, described as two hearts combined makes the poem worthy of a second read. Great work. ~Mel~
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the excellent review, Mel. I appreciate the generous stars. I'm you liked our little piece. I hope you have a great weekend. Ron and Lynda
Comment from RodG
This is really a lovely Quatern about how two people who share a love for poetry can also collaborate to write a poem almost as if they think as one. This is especially made clear in stanza three. Your meter & rhythm are flawless and you could not have chosen a better refrain. Rod
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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This is really a lovely Quatern about how two people who share a love for poetry can also collaborate to write a poem almost as if they think as one. This is especially made clear in stanza three. Your meter & rhythm are flawless and you could not have chosen a better refrain. Rod
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Wow, thank you for the fantastic review, Rod. I really appreciate the generous stars and kind comments. We're sticklers for having the meter correct. lol We're glad you liked our little offering, friend. Thank you again. I hope you have yourself a great weekend. Ron and Lynda
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Intertwined
by DragonSkulls
Hello my friend
Beautiful collaboration. A fine entry for the Collaborative Rhyming Poem writing contest. I have written collaborate renga before...it was fun.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Intertwined
by DragonSkulls
Hello my friend
Beautiful collaboration. A fine entry for the Collaborative Rhyming Poem writing contest. I have written collaborate renga before...it was fun.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Yes, we had a great time writing this together, too. Thank you for the fantastic review, Gypsy. We're glad you like our little offering. Ron and Lynda
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Nice job with the form given for this contest/writing prompt. I like the line: unmasking treasures crystal clear Sounds like the two of you had fun writing this as a new experience. Nice share!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Nice job with the form given for this contest/writing prompt. I like the line: unmasking treasures crystal clear Sounds like the two of you had fun writing this as a new experience. Nice share!
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Yes, we had a great time composing this one together. Thank you so much for the kind review and gracious stars. We're glad you liked our little piece. Ron and Lynda
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written quatern about two different minds intertwined together through poetry their minds become as one with different ideas they seem to manage to become one in their combined writing.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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A very well-written quatern about two different minds intertwined together through poetry their minds become as one with different ideas they seem to manage to become one in their combined writing.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the fantastic review, Sandra. We dearly appreciate the gracious stars and glad you liked the piece. Have a great weekend. Ron and Lynda
Comment from Amanda Louise Davis
This is a beautiful poem. I appreciate you sharing this poem with us. I am really happy to have read this one. You did great, and I can see why this is well received.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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This is a beautiful poem. I appreciate you sharing this poem with us. I am really happy to have read this one. You did great, and I can see why this is well received.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the great review and gracious stars, Amanda. We're glad you liked our little piece. Ron and Lynda
Comment from Bill Pinder
Excellent entry for the collaborative poem contest. It is written with smooth rhyme and rhythm to convey clearly your thoughts of meshing well with a fellow poet. Thanks for sharing. Bill
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Excellent entry for the collaborative poem contest. It is written with smooth rhyme and rhythm to convey clearly your thoughts of meshing well with a fellow poet. Thanks for sharing. Bill
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the fantastic review, friend. I appreciate the generous stars. Hope you have a great weekend. Ron and Lynda
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good image and
presentation, Ron and Lynda S.
-A good topic and repeating line,
along with the imagery:
"How gracefully our minds can dance."
-A very good entry; good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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-Good image and
presentation, Ron and Lynda S.
-A good topic and repeating line,
along with the imagery:
"How gracefully our minds can dance."
-A very good entry; good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for the fantastic review, Pam. We dearly appreciate the generous stars and kind words. I'm glad you liked our little piece. I hope you have yourself a wonderful weekend. Ron and Lynda
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You are very welcome, Ron and Lynda. You have a great weekend, too.
Comment from Pantygynt
One thing I have noticed about the quaterne form is its tendency to breed periods and single line sentences like they were going out of fashion. That is to some extent the case here. Nevertheless this one reads well and some of those periods could well be lost with a little ingenious thought.
Collaborative poetry is damn difficult. I have tried it twice in my life and was not satisfied with the result on either occasion. For that reason, despite the points I have mentioned, I feel that this is still worthy of five stars.
In my opinion the best ones are those that keep the flow going with enjambment. This is difficult with that 'floating' refrain line, drifting downwards through the stanzas.
'Each bask within the other's words.' Should the verb here not be in the singular (basks)? Each is a contraction of the phrase 'each one of them' and that one, I believe, makes the subject singular.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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One thing I have noticed about the quaterne form is its tendency to breed periods and single line sentences like they were going out of fashion. That is to some extent the case here. Nevertheless this one reads well and some of those periods could well be lost with a little ingenious thought.
Collaborative poetry is damn difficult. I have tried it twice in my life and was not satisfied with the result on either occasion. For that reason, despite the points I have mentioned, I feel that this is still worthy of five stars.
In my opinion the best ones are those that keep the flow going with enjambment. This is difficult with that 'floating' refrain line, drifting downwards through the stanzas.
'Each bask within the other's words.' Should the verb here not be in the singular (basks)? Each is a contraction of the phrase 'each one of them' and that one, I believe, makes the subject singular.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the great review and gracious stars, Pantygynt. And thank you for catching the goof on "bask". I actually had something else written there first but forgot to change it to plural. Yeah, I know there's a lot of periods but what can you do? lol Glad you liked the piece. I hope you have yourself a great weekend. Ron and Lynda
