Aiona's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 90 "Slug"Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.
7 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Aiona,
This poem is short but uses sound and imagery well to describe stepping on a slug and its slime after rain (not reign). I like the internal rhyme in the last line.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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Aiona,
This poem is short but uses sound and imagery well to describe stepping on a slug and its slime after rain (not reign). I like the internal rhyme in the last line.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 10-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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Thanks, Joan.
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No problem, Aiona.
Joan
Comment from Halfree
Always marvel how you can pickle so much with a few words. I had to read this posting, it just cauigjht my facy. I have tried to do short, little woprks but failed on the trying... Did enjoy the poem and that is as it should be. Keep at it.
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Always marvel how you can pickle so much with a few words. I had to read this posting, it just cauigjht my facy. I have tried to do short, little woprks but failed on the trying... Did enjoy the poem and that is as it should be. Keep at it.
Comment Written 28-May-2020
reply by the author on 29-May-2020
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Thanks, Halfree. :) These contests force me to use few words. Normally I'm quite garrulous. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Slug
by Aiona
Hah hah hah... I've done that before. The worse time was when my granddaughter's were with me and they tried to help the little guy but half of his body was gone. Good job.
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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Slug
by Aiona
Hah hah hah... I've done that before. The worse time was when my granddaughter's were with me and they tried to help the little guy but half of his body was gone. Good job.
Comment Written 26-May-2020
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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Ugh..... Poor little guy. How traumatic! How old were your granddaughters?
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my granddaughters were teenagers...they were alright
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Oh good! LOL!
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh the pitfalls of summer. Excellently done for the contest. The imagery is eww. The rhyming really made the whole piece. Excellently done . Loved it...
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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Oh the pitfalls of summer. Excellently done for the contest. The imagery is eww. The rhyming really made the whole piece. Excellently done . Loved it...
Comment Written 26-May-2020
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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Thanks, Barb!
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Aiona--ah, memories of lazy summer day and stepping on one of those slimy bastards--no matter how much you washed it off, you had a hell of a time getting all of it!
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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Another fine poem, Aiona--ah, memories of lazy summer day and stepping on one of those slimy bastards--no matter how much you washed it off, you had a hell of a time getting all of it!
Comment Written 26-May-2020
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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Thanks, Mike!
Comment from humpwhistle
Yes, a very unpleasant surprise, squashing a bug under foot.
Interesting rhyme pattern. In your descriptor line, I believe you mean 'rain', not 'reign', right?
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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Yes, a very unpleasant surprise, squashing a bug under foot.
Interesting rhyme pattern. In your descriptor line, I believe you mean 'rain', not 'reign', right?
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 26-May-2020
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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LOL! I wondered if someone would notice that. I initially made a typo, but then I changed it back to "reign" cuz yeah, the slugs rule my garden. :( Thanks for the review.
Comment from Pantygynt
I bet you weren't as mortified as the slug on which you slid. I remember treading on a frog once in the dark, I don't know whether i was mor mortified because of the squish thing or because I had killed the poor little chap.
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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I bet you weren't as mortified as the slug on which you slid. I remember treading on a frog once in the dark, I don't know whether i was mor mortified because of the squish thing or because I had killed the poor little chap.
Comment Written 26-May-2020
reply by the author on 26-May-2020
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Ew! Yeah.... I stepped on a frog once, also. I didn't know they could scream, until that point. I think it lived. The scream alerted me, and he was such a big fella, I was able to not step on him all the way. Thanks for the review!
