The Edge of Convenience
multiverse unity165 total reviews
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Opal Rose,
I generally don't like Free Verse, but here I find something different and worth appreciating.
It's a nice piece of poetry having enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhythm, and beautifully depicting its theme using highly sophisticated phraseology.
Picture enhances depth and beauty of the poem.
LAUDABLE Attempt!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
[ 5 Stars + 1 Sparkling Star, why here? I'm sure you can understand...]
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Hello Opal Rose,
I generally don't like Free Verse, but here I find something different and worth appreciating.
It's a nice piece of poetry having enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhythm, and beautifully depicting its theme using highly sophisticated phraseology.
Picture enhances depth and beauty of the poem.
LAUDABLE Attempt!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
[ 5 Stars + 1 Sparkling Star, why here? I'm sure you can understand...]
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you kindly for such a lovely, detailed review. I am most grateful! Best wishes to you.
Graciously signed,
Opal Rose
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Opal Rose, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from kiwisteveh
A noble aspiration, but sadly one that we are currently far from achieving!
I would actually query a couple of your word choices, both for being, in my opinion, a little wishy-washy. Despite the explanation in your notes, 'convenience' in the title seems too weak for an aspirational goal. Convenience is if you have a handy grocery store just down the road or if your mother-in-law is prepared to baby-sit - hardly something we would strive for in a big-time pledge.
Similarly 'congenial' - definition pleasant or likeable. Yeah, that;s nice, but don't we want to strive for something greater?
PS The 'in' in line 2 is not necessary.
Sorry this is a bit negative, but I feel you could definitely make improvements.
Have a great day and stay safe.
Steve
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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A noble aspiration, but sadly one that we are currently far from achieving!
I would actually query a couple of your word choices, both for being, in my opinion, a little wishy-washy. Despite the explanation in your notes, 'convenience' in the title seems too weak for an aspirational goal. Convenience is if you have a handy grocery store just down the road or if your mother-in-law is prepared to baby-sit - hardly something we would strive for in a big-time pledge.
Similarly 'congenial' - definition pleasant or likeable. Yeah, that;s nice, but don't we want to strive for something greater?
PS The 'in' in line 2 is not necessary.
Sorry this is a bit negative, but I feel you could definitely make improvements.
Have a great day and stay safe.
Steve
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your review. Have a wonderful day and stay safe as well Steve.
-Opal Rose
Comment from richie b
Opal,
I understand the message your poem promotes.
I personally believe in The Universal Christ. The
foundation of this belief runs parallel to your poem.
Your words are well penned and gives the reader
ample information to think about.
Thank you for sharing and best wishes in contest.
Peace,
Richie b
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Opal,
I understand the message your poem promotes.
I personally believe in The Universal Christ. The
foundation of this belief runs parallel to your poem.
Your words are well penned and gives the reader
ample information to think about.
Thank you for sharing and best wishes in contest.
Peace,
Richie b
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you kindly for your review. I appreciate every word within. Best wishes to you as well!
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
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You are most welcome!
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
I am also a child of the multiverse/omniverse. This pledge is beautifully all-inclusive and touches the heart even more to me than the original add.
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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I am also a child of the multiverse/omniverse. This pledge is beautifully all-inclusive and touches the heart even more to me than the original add.
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you kindly for such a lovely review. I am happy to have touched you in such ways. Best wishes to you.
-Opal Rose
Comment from Bill Pinder
Interesting writing with some unique words to express the idea of unity in the universe. Thank God there will finally be unity after Christ returns again at the end of this age and we have the privilege of being in a new age with him with perfect peace as he reigns. Bill
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Interesting writing with some unique words to express the idea of unity in the universe. Thank God there will finally be unity after Christ returns again at the end of this age and we have the privilege of being in a new age with him with perfect peace as he reigns. Bill
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Yes and Amen. Thank you for your review Bill. Best wishes to you.
-Opal Rose
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello Opal,
I pray you are well, as well as your family during this unwanted pandemic. I love the message of hopefulness in this world for all. I pray that we would be acceptance of the individual differences, ideas and dreams. I like your inspiration of the Pledge of Allegiance which states, "one nation under God indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." I vowed to keep God in front of all I do, in hopes others will do the same. This is a lovely message of optimism and expectation for our universe. Well-done. I like your creativity in your poem. Thanks, and happy writing:-)
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Hello Opal,
I pray you are well, as well as your family during this unwanted pandemic. I love the message of hopefulness in this world for all. I pray that we would be acceptance of the individual differences, ideas and dreams. I like your inspiration of the Pledge of Allegiance which states, "one nation under God indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." I vowed to keep God in front of all I do, in hopes others will do the same. This is a lovely message of optimism and expectation for our universe. Well-done. I like your creativity in your poem. Thanks, and happy writing:-)
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you kindly for your words shared. I appreciate them as well as knowing my poem resonated well with you. Best wishes in all your writing endeavors. Stay happy and safe! God bless.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
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You are welcome.
Comment from Susan Larson
This is an interesting take on the Pledge of Allegiance and makes me wish that every human being in the world would feel that way. And I love your yoga-ish looking picture, which to me speaks of "zen" and being at one with everything. If only!
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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This is an interesting take on the Pledge of Allegiance and makes me wish that every human being in the world would feel that way. And I love your yoga-ish looking picture, which to me speaks of "zen" and being at one with everything. If only!
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Hello Susan and thank you for sharing your words. I am very pleased you too wish to see such a Utopia one day. Beat wishes to you!
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
Comment from D.S. Knight
1. I enjoyed this to no end! Thanks!
2. This piece speaks very well to the issue of one-ness
3. This piece reminded me of Heinlein's "Tbe Moon Is a Harsh Mistress" in which he introduced me to the concept of rational anarchy. Your piece describes the step after that evolution.
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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1. I enjoyed this to no end! Thanks!
2. This piece speaks very well to the issue of one-ness
3. This piece reminded me of Heinlein's "Tbe Moon Is a Harsh Mistress" in which he introduced me to the concept of rational anarchy. Your piece describes the step after that evolution.
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you kindly for such a wonderful review! I am thoroughly pleased you enjoyed it to no end. I will look this work up that you have mentioned. Stay safe and good luck with all of your writing endeavors.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
Comment from playinaround
I love this poem... I felt like I was in grade school doing the pledge only with hopeful and inspiring words. I love how you did this.... so inventive thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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I love this poem... I felt like I was in grade school doing the pledge only with hopeful and inspiring words. I love how you did this.... so inventive thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you so much for such a wonderful review! I am very happy you enjoyed it. Best wishes to you.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
Comment from Puzzle
I feel like this is a precedence for the new world order I keep hearing about. Idk if that's what you were thinking of when you wrote this. But that's what it reminds me of. It is written well. Good job
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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I feel like this is a precedence for the new world order I keep hearing about. Idk if that's what you were thinking of when you wrote this. But that's what it reminds me of. It is written well. Good job
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Hello Puzzle. I do believe this poem could assist with a new world order. Thank you for your words. Best wishes.
Sincerely,
Opal Rose
