When The Narrative Must Remain
Would you be in the crowd or on the tracks...10 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Well, replace collars with face masks and there we go. Right in the here and now....
very nice little piece. You don't need to know all the ins and outs as the theme is relevant and clear.
Good job
GMG
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Hi there,
Well, replace collars with face masks and there we go. Right in the here and now....
very nice little piece. You don't need to know all the ins and outs as the theme is relevant and clear.
Good job
GMG
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you, GMG, for taking the time to review this short story - if anyone understands that the words on the page aren't always what they actually appear to be, it would be you. ;) :) Much appreciated! :) Yvette
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Yvette. Very nicely done. I like reading this kind of stuff. I would have voted for yours but I had to vote for mine. It's a good thing I voted for mine or I wouldn't have had any. Hahaha. I was sure I couldn't win but I had to make a statement on this one. Your statement was loud and clear. I appreciate it.
Da Z. :;-)))
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Hello Yvette. Very nicely done. I like reading this kind of stuff. I would have voted for yours but I had to vote for mine. It's a good thing I voted for mine or I wouldn't have had any. Hahaha. I was sure I couldn't win but I had to make a statement on this one. Your statement was loud and clear. I appreciate it.
Da Z. :;-)))
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanx so much for those awesome stars, Z -- I knew this one probably would come out on top, but as soon as I did a cut/paste of the 'opening phrase' to my Word Doc, this literally just poured out from the keyboard - it was a 'flash' fiction for a whole 'nother reason! LOL! :) ;) I will pop back in there and take a look at yours... :) Take care out there and soak in some sunshine! ;) Yvette
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I don't understand the need for the collars. If it was to control them to conform to some crazy ungodly leadership, then, count me among the collarless. I like the message conveyed in this and enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
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I don't understand the need for the collars. If it was to control them to conform to some crazy ungodly leadership, then, count me among the collarless. I like the message conveyed in this and enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 19-May-2020
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
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The need for the collars wasn't necessary for the story. ;) ;) 😉 Thank you so much for your review!!
Comment from Patty Palmer
Great story! It took a turn that I didn't expect. Kind of scary when you think of life maybe going that direction itself. The protestors are only making a statement, don't take away our freedom! Good luck with the contest.
Patty
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
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Great story! It took a turn that I didn't expect. Kind of scary when you think of life maybe going that direction itself. The protestors are only making a statement, don't take away our freedom! Good luck with the contest.
Patty
Comment Written 19-May-2020
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
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Thank you so much for your time and your review. Scary, indeed.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello my friend
A beautiful flash fiction story for the Short Story(150 words) writing contest. Good word count. Nice characters development. Smooth story and great ending. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
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Hello my friend
A beautiful flash fiction story for the Short Story(150 words) writing contest. Good word count. Nice characters development. Smooth story and great ending. Well done.
Comment Written 19-May-2020
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
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Great ending? Okay... ;) :) Thank you so much for your time and your review!! :)
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It was a good ending for the story. Should I have said terrible ending?
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Naaaah... just giving you a hard time, Gypsy... :) :) Take care, my lady! ;)
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Thank you :)
Comment from Shirley McLain
I think your story is life right now. Those who live or die make a conscious choice except for the ones caught because they got to close to the virus. Great job and I didn't find any errors. Good luck in the contest. Shirley
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
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I think your story is life right now. Those who live or die make a conscious choice except for the ones caught because they got to close to the virus. Great job and I didn't find any errors. Good luck in the contest. Shirley
Comment Written 19-May-2020
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
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Thank you for both your time and your review. Both are very appreciated.
Comment from Gloria ....
Definitely a spooky story illustrating how the powers that be will ensure a myth will survive whether it is valid or not.
You've adhered to the contest guidelines well and the artwork is an inspired choice for your entry.
Best of luck to you in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
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Definitely a spooky story illustrating how the powers that be will ensure a myth will survive whether it is valid or not.
You've adhered to the contest guidelines well and the artwork is an inspired choice for your entry.
Best of luck to you in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 18-May-2020
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
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Thank you for your time and your review. Both are appreciated!
Comment from royowen
I love this, there's nothing like a bit of authoritarianism to enforce a law, not like someone carrying a gun to enforce their right to "freedom" heh heh, but then, what is freedom? Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
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I love this, there's nothing like a bit of authoritarianism to enforce a law, not like someone carrying a gun to enforce their right to "freedom" heh heh, but then, what is freedom? Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 18-May-2020
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
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Thank you for your time and your review. Both are appreciated.
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My pleasure
Comment from w.j.debi
Lots of drama and concern in this story. I can see this being the start of a dystopian novel where society is so messed up that it needs to be saved.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
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Lots of drama and concern in this story. I can see this being the start of a dystopian novel where society is so messed up that it needs to be saved.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-May-2020
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
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Your time and your review are appreciated. Thank you!
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I had to see who wrote this one so I checked this morning. Great job Yvette. I really liked this one.
Comment from LisaMay
What a horribly chilling story - it may be fiction but it sounds too close for comfort to present day fact. Misguided presidential power, the huddled masses preferring to live and die on their own terms, the compliant, collared/masked? ones, watching other people die for entertainment, or being forced to... all with a current of fear and control, with truth unheeded. Scary.
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
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What a horribly chilling story - it may be fiction but it sounds too close for comfort to present day fact. Misguided presidential power, the huddled masses preferring to live and die on their own terms, the compliant, collared/masked? ones, watching other people die for entertainment, or being forced to... all with a current of fear and control, with truth unheeded. Scary.
Comment Written 18-May-2020
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
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Aaaah, a reader/reviewer that truly reads... Thank you so much, LisaMay. Your comments and those stars are more appreciated than you will know. Have a great evening!
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It's morning here, so I'll have a great morning instead! I am so pleased my review was appreciated.
