The Spirit of the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "In the Shadow of the Prairie"Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow
12 total reviews
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan. This is an excellent story describing details of how tough it was in the days of the country being settled. Not only were the times tough, but the people were tough. Nobody believed in zero risk in those days. Everybody knew there is risk for everything.
That principal hasn't changed in these days, but generally, society prefers not to believe it.
Robert
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
  |
Hello Stan. This is an excellent story describing details of how tough it was in the days of the country being settled. Not only were the times tough, but the people were tough. Nobody believed in zero risk in those days. Everybody knew there is risk for everything.
That principal hasn't changed in these days, but generally, society prefers not to believe it.
Robert
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
-
Well said, Robert. I'm super motivated on this project in part because of the weakened times we live in. I love writing the history of people who had true grit and faith and looked at fear without blinking. Amen.
-
You're welcome...keep going
Comment from robyn corum
Hey, buddy,
This was another great installment in your ongoing saga. It seems like our girl just can't catch a break. She can't help but feel for this guy whether she wants to admit it or not.
--> Lydia wrestled the child from me and held him up. (")We need to thank the Lord for his tender mercies in a broken world."
Nice job!~
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
|
Hey, buddy,
This was another great installment in your ongoing saga. It seems like our girl just can't catch a break. She can't help but feel for this guy whether she wants to admit it or not.
--> Lydia wrestled the child from me and held him up. (")We need to thank the Lord for his tender mercies in a broken world."
Nice job!~
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
-
Thanks, Robyn. Your reviews are oh so important to me, even when you smack me with the reality of poor composition and grammar. Blessings.
-
hhahahaha Bless you!
Comment from Alaskastory
"In the Shadow of the Prairie" was full of action and showed good action of Jane and Tad in the field. Jane's action toward Lydia was also well done. But I think a few fearful or action words from them about the coming (or hitting) storm is needed. Perhaps a scary comment from Tara too would emphasize the danger they face together. Enjoyable chapter!
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
|
"In the Shadow of the Prairie" was full of action and showed good action of Jane and Tad in the field. Jane's action toward Lydia was also well done. But I think a few fearful or action words from them about the coming (or hitting) storm is needed. Perhaps a scary comment from Tara too would emphasize the danger they face together. Enjoyable chapter!
Comment Written 19-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
-
Thanks, Maria. I definitely will insert some short crisp words between them. Worthy idea. Blessings around the bend. And I will get your important screenplay. Your screenplay is giving me the confidence to take on that kind of challenge!
Comment from zanya
And grit and determination is what is shining through here in this chapter -emotions are raw and stark -how different to how emotions are described in writing today -almost dispassionate
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
|
And grit and determination is what is shining through here in this chapter -emotions are raw and stark -how different to how emotions are described in writing today -almost dispassionate
Comment Written 18-May-2020
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
-
Thanks so much. What you said in your last line means more to me than almost anything I've heard. You made my day.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I like how this is unfolding. It sounds like the lad will have a good inheritance when he comes of age. The problem may be holding on to his inheritance. I think that some more fighting is going to be in their forecast before they totally possess the land. I enjoyed reading this well written chapter. I look forward to the next chapter in this continuing saga. Great job and well done!
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
|
I like how this is unfolding. It sounds like the lad will have a good inheritance when he comes of age. The problem may be holding on to his inheritance. I think that some more fighting is going to be in their forecast before they totally possess the land. I enjoyed reading this well written chapter. I look forward to the next chapter in this continuing saga. Great job and well done!
Comment Written 18-May-2020
reply by the author on 18-May-2020
-
Thanks, Jeff. You have been and continue to be a big encouragement to me. Amen.
Comment from Mistydawn
This is a very well-written, interesting piece. Your chapter seemed very realistic, believable. Your dialogue seems natural and your characters really came to life. Your entire chapter was great but this line in particular really got your point across. Let the reader feel their heartaches, struggles as they try to survive. We need to thank the Lord for his tender mercies in a broken world. The followup below this added to the uncertainty, the hardships around them. Made the reader have empathy for them and their harrowing situation. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
 |
This is a very well-written, interesting piece. Your chapter seemed very realistic, believable. Your dialogue seems natural and your characters really came to life. Your entire chapter was great but this line in particular really got your point across. Let the reader feel their heartaches, struggles as they try to survive. We need to thank the Lord for his tender mercies in a broken world. The followup below this added to the uncertainty, the hardships around them. Made the reader have empathy for them and their harrowing situation. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 18-May-2020
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
-
Thanks again, Misty.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I enjoyed this chapter as I have the others. You did an excellent job and I saw no errors. I believe you completed your purpose. You showed the grit and determination of the settlers. Have a wonderful day. Shirley
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
|
I enjoyed this chapter as I have the others. You did an excellent job and I saw no errors. I believe you completed your purpose. You showed the grit and determination of the settlers. Have a wonderful day. Shirley
Comment Written 18-May-2020
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
-
Thanks again, Shirley
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Well-written chapter once again. I like this line: I climbed the rise and saw where my heart lived.
There is something I want to tweak slightly in the very first sentence. I think it might be as simple as adding a comma.
Bitterness churned inside me(put comma here) living in the town where my husband was shot and killed over a wayward smile.
Another possibility might be:
Bitterness continued to churn inside me, intermittently, since I chose to keep living in the town where my husband was shot and killed over a wayward smile.
This is a small point, and maybe the child of a homesteader would not mind, but I think a hard gallop or 'rode as hard as I dared' would possibly have an effect on the child, perhaps causing it to whimper a little.
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
|
Well-written chapter once again. I like this line: I climbed the rise and saw where my heart lived.
There is something I want to tweak slightly in the very first sentence. I think it might be as simple as adding a comma.
Bitterness churned inside me(put comma here) living in the town where my husband was shot and killed over a wayward smile.
Another possibility might be:
Bitterness continued to churn inside me, intermittently, since I chose to keep living in the town where my husband was shot and killed over a wayward smile.
This is a small point, and maybe the child of a homesteader would not mind, but I think a hard gallop or 'rode as hard as I dared' would possibly have an effect on the child, perhaps causing it to whimper a little.
Comment Written 18-May-2020
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
-
Thanks again, Crystie for the valuable insight, as always.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is another well written and enthralling chapter in the book. Our early settler ancestors were made of quality stock and withstood all manner of hardships. They are our examples.
reply by the author on 17-May-2020
|
This is another well written and enthralling chapter in the book. Our early settler ancestors were made of quality stock and withstood all manner of hardships. They are our examples.
Comment Written 17-May-2020
reply by the author on 17-May-2020
-
Thanks for your faithful reading. I'm more motivated and appreciate this earlier generation when I realize how they looked in the eye of so much disease and death with true grit and faith. Something we need today.
-
Exactly right. We are too soft nowadays.
Comment from Ben Colder
Excellent time frame and good wording. You are there and the settlers are at the notion of two evils. The war in the east and the hostiles who dared to hold their land from outsiders. Good write.. This is strong to me. In the distance a storm brewed. The skies blackened like ink on blue. The winds whipped through us and cut to the bone.
My blessings to you.
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
|
Excellent time frame and good wording. You are there and the settlers are at the notion of two evils. The war in the east and the hostiles who dared to hold their land from outsiders. Good write.. This is strong to me. In the distance a storm brewed. The skies blackened like ink on blue. The winds whipped through us and cut to the bone.
My blessings to you.
Comment Written 17-May-2020
reply by the author on 19-May-2020
-
Thanks again Ben for your input which I covet.
