A Graduation In Grief
True Story of my daughter's traumatic graduation day10 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Death is a part of Life,
To just ignore,
And close the door,
To grief, will cause us strife.
This is a very important cautionary tale. It reminds me of a friend who would not let herself grieve for the loss of her mother. She kept obsessively busy and wore a forced smile. After a long time of suppressing her pain, the floodgates burst open. To stifle all of that she relapsed with alcohol. I like your conclusion which also serves as a solution. Well expressed.
reply by the author on 16-May-2020
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Death is a part of Life,
To just ignore,
And close the door,
To grief, will cause us strife.
This is a very important cautionary tale. It reminds me of a friend who would not let herself grieve for the loss of her mother. She kept obsessively busy and wore a forced smile. After a long time of suppressing her pain, the floodgates burst open. To stifle all of that she relapsed with alcohol. I like your conclusion which also serves as a solution. Well expressed.
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 16-May-2020
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments, Liz. I appreciate you taking the time to read and share these difficult memories with us. Yes, unfortunately what happened to your friend, tends to happen to many others. It's so sad.
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments, Liz. I appreciate you taking the time to read and share these difficult memories with us. Yes, unfortunately what happened to your friend, tends to happen to many others. It's so sad.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a tearjerker poem. The death of a brother is almost unbearable. I am happy to know she has gone on to greater achievements. This poem should do well in the Empathy with Grief writing contest. Good luck!
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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This is a tearjerker poem. The death of a brother is almost unbearable. I am happy to know she has gone on to greater achievements. This poem should do well in the Empathy with Grief writing contest. Good luck!
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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I appreciate the time you took to read and share these difficult memories with us. Thanks for your thoughtful comments in writing this review.
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Thank you for sharing this grief.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A Graduation In Grief
Hello my friend
A heartfelt. Poem about grief. A good entry for the Empathy with Grief writing prompt contest.
The Syntex in your writing needs some work....
For example...
....You would not know,
It would be so,
Until that fateful Fall,
You'd stand in line,
Await your time,
(The Dean, your name to call.)... And other lines throughout
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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A Graduation In Grief
Hello my friend
A heartfelt. Poem about grief. A good entry for the Empathy with Grief writing prompt contest.
The Syntex in your writing needs some work....
For example...
....You would not know,
It would be so,
Until that fateful Fall,
You'd stand in line,
Await your time,
(The Dean, your name to call.)... And other lines throughout
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Thank you so very much for your thoughtful comments and detailed feedback. Although I have written poetry, I've never paid much attention to the real science or art of it. I appreciate your suggestions regarding syntax and I intend to improve.
Comment from Precious Owuamalam
Aww! My heart goes to her. I hope the memories make her a greater person in life. From what you've written, she has already started well. My very best wishes to her, and to you in the contest. Cheers!
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Aww! My heart goes to her. I hope the memories make her a greater person in life. From what you've written, she has already started well. My very best wishes to her, and to you in the contest. Cheers!
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Thank you so very much, Precious! She is quite active in the campus community and has developed various mentoring programs for students. I appreciate the time you took to read and share these painful memories with us.
Comment from Huguette M. Forest-Coultry
Whew...powerful. Needs no additions or subtractions. Grief has its own timeline...no one can tell us what the experience will be...you have to live it. I wish you and all those who knew him...peace.
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Whew...powerful. Needs no additions or subtractions. Grief has its own timeline...no one can tell us what the experience will be...you have to live it. I wish you and all those who knew him...peace.
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Thank you for your thoughtful and kind comments. I appreciate the time you took to read and share these painful memories with us.
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Closure is such an overused word in my lexicon. I have a book of poetry called LOVE, LOSS AND HEALING I would like to submit and see what the response is. Blessings on your day and in the weeks of May and June when graduation should be without the sadness of loss.
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello,
This is a sad poem about a graduation day to hear about the loss of a brother. It was a new beginning for the sister, but the end of a relationship for her brother. Your poem was beautifully written and the imagery was also very touching. In life, God always have different plans then our plans, as you stated. Nicely written your poem. I like how you say there was no time to grieve as you wait to receive your diploma. Good job! Nice rhymes include in your poem. Thanks. Happy writing:-)
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Hello,
This is a sad poem about a graduation day to hear about the loss of a brother. It was a new beginning for the sister, but the end of a relationship for her brother. Your poem was beautifully written and the imagery was also very touching. In life, God always have different plans then our plans, as you stated. Nicely written your poem. I like how you say there was no time to grieve as you wait to receive your diploma. Good job! Nice rhymes include in your poem. Thanks. Happy writing:-)
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments. I appreciate the time you took to write this encouraging review.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow - now there's one of those twists of fate we never see coming... You've done an awesome job of putting to rhyme a very tragic story - and good for her for going on and making something wonderful of her future! ;) Best of luck at the polls! ;)
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Wow - now there's one of those twists of fate we never see coming... You've done an awesome job of putting to rhyme a very tragic story - and good for her for going on and making something wonderful of her future! ;) Best of luck at the polls! ;)
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Thanks again for your insightful comments. I appreciate the time and effort you put into this review.
Comment from Mary Furlong
There is so much to praise in this poem. You begin by foreshadowing the event, both in your title and in the first few lines. Then, you continue the story in a measured, understated way. My only criticism is that some things I wanted to know more about got lost in you effort to come to a timely conclusion - the girl who came forward to help, for instance. I would suggest that you try this poem with a different meter and rhyme scheme and then decide which one you like best. You might be amazed at how different approaches affect the mood of a poem. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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There is so much to praise in this poem. You begin by foreshadowing the event, both in your title and in the first few lines. Then, you continue the story in a measured, understated way. My only criticism is that some things I wanted to know more about got lost in you effort to come to a timely conclusion - the girl who came forward to help, for instance. I would suggest that you try this poem with a different meter and rhyme scheme and then decide which one you like best. You might be amazed at how different approaches affect the mood of a poem. Well done.
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Mary, thank you so much for your thoughtful review. I appreciate the time you took to address all aspects. Although I have written poetry before, it helps to receive suggestions on how to improve the craft. Meter and rhyme scheme will be two things I study to improve.
Comment from RodG
Your poem paints a poignant picture for us of that scene when your daughter received news right before graduation of her brother's death. Your message--that Death is a part of Life--comes through clearly. I was pleased to see in your notes that she has continued her studies and dedicates all her accomplishments to her brother. Rod
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Your poem paints a poignant picture for us of that scene when your daughter received news right before graduation of her brother's death. Your message--that Death is a part of Life--comes through clearly. I was pleased to see in your notes that she has continued her studies and dedicates all her accomplishments to her brother. Rod
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Thank you, Rod. I appreciate your thoughtful comments. She is an amazing young woman that devotes her life to helping others overcome tragedies and injustice in their lives.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These are sad words and we never know what life can throw at us and we are never prepared for it, I am more aware of this as I age, a well rhymed sad poem, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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These are sad words and we never know what life can throw at us and we are never prepared for it, I am more aware of this as I age, a well rhymed sad poem, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments, Dolly. You are so right that we become much more conscious of things as we age.
