Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Errors!"Experiences of living
148 total reviews
Comment from xxrosemaryxx
I really enjoyed this poem. It was short, but you expressed your feelings quite eloquently. I definantly agree with your statements. You wrote them very vividly. You make imperfections to be miniscule and trivial without even saying it directly. This is definantly one of my favorite poems since joining fanstory.com.
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I really enjoyed this poem. It was short, but you expressed your feelings quite eloquently. I definantly agree with your statements. You wrote them very vividly. You make imperfections to be miniscule and trivial without even saying it directly. This is definantly one of my favorite poems since joining fanstory.com.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2006
Comment from trailblazer101
Pretty good stuff.
According to Genisis a perfect man still ahs to make perfect choices and that first one didn't.
Still this is correct:
There'd be a world unreal
Unlike this of ours.
It wouldn;t take a whole lot to be better on July 23, 2006
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Pretty good stuff.
According to Genisis a perfect man still ahs to make perfect choices and that first one didn't.
Still this is correct:
There'd be a world unreal
Unlike this of ours.
It wouldn;t take a whole lot to be better on July 23, 2006
Comment Written 23-Jul-2006
Comment from Mrs Jones
Now this is a lovely tanka Al and one I can understand. Well done. The structure is perfectly correct. Deserving of a five.
Cheers
Rose
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Now this is a lovely tanka Al and one I can understand. Well done. The structure is perfectly correct. Deserving of a five.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 23-Jul-2006
Comment from rivki1111
Hello....this is a very nice traditional tanka that you have published with a lot of color and panache...I enjoyed the graphic and thought you had an attention to detail within the lines of the work. It spoke to me about how God is the only source of true perfection...man being inately flawed...thanks for sharing a work that was a pleasure to review...cheers rivki
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Hello....this is a very nice traditional tanka that you have published with a lot of color and panache...I enjoyed the graphic and thought you had an attention to detail within the lines of the work. It spoke to me about how God is the only source of true perfection...man being inately flawed...thanks for sharing a work that was a pleasure to review...cheers rivki
Comment Written 23-Jul-2006
Comment from Lady in Red
If man were perfect, this would be a pretty boring world! Most of my best laughs have come from mistakes I have made, unfortunately usually witnessed by others. But if they didn't see them, I guess we couldn't share the giggles.
Your point is well made. God alone is perfect, and we shouldn't beat ourselves up because we're not. Great poem with a great message.
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If man were perfect, this would be a pretty boring world! Most of my best laughs have come from mistakes I have made, unfortunately usually witnessed by others. But if they didn't see them, I guess we couldn't share the giggles.
Your point is well made. God alone is perfect, and we shouldn't beat ourselves up because we're not. Great poem with a great message.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2006
Comment from J. Bond
Great poem! An interesting, well-put statement on the human condition. I like and agree with what you have said here. Good work. This was a well tohguht out poem, the lyrics of which were elegant and flowed seamlessly from one verse to the next. All ingredients for a successful piece! Excellent job. Cheers.
J
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Great poem! An interesting, well-put statement on the human condition. I like and agree with what you have said here. Good work. This was a well tohguht out poem, the lyrics of which were elegant and flowed seamlessly from one verse to the next. All ingredients for a successful piece! Excellent job. Cheers.
J
Comment Written 23-Jul-2006
Comment from Sue-z-Q
Dear ALCREATOR WRITER:
Interesting picture. It reminded me of Fractals and paisley. Who's to say what's perfect or what isn't? It's only a word given to a concept by mankind who searches endlessly for something that fits this idea of perfection. God may have an altogether different idea in mind. However, your words depicted your thought perfectly with no faults I could find.
Sue-z-Q
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Dear ALCREATOR WRITER:
Interesting picture. It reminded me of Fractals and paisley. Who's to say what's perfect or what isn't? It's only a word given to a concept by mankind who searches endlessly for something that fits this idea of perfection. God may have an altogether different idea in mind. However, your words depicted your thought perfectly with no faults I could find.
Sue-z-Q
Comment Written 22-Jul-2006
Comment from pbearse
OK, I bet you did it on purpose. Only 6 syllables in that 5 syllable line where there'd should be there would. So we get it, not even you are perfect...LOL.. That's what i would use for an excuse anyway...Ha ha, too funny
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OK, I bet you did it on purpose. Only 6 syllables in that 5 syllable line where there'd should be there would. So we get it, not even you are perfect...LOL.. That's what i would use for an excuse anyway...Ha ha, too funny
Comment Written 22-Jul-2006
Comment from Kingsland
as much as I've tryed to get the meaning of the piece
it has escaped me, but I will not deduct a star for my lack of understanding
as I have looked at your reviews
and I am in the minority as most do get it... John
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as much as I've tryed to get the meaning of the piece
it has escaped me, but I will not deduct a star for my lack of understanding
as I have looked at your reviews
and I am in the minority as most do get it... John
Comment Written 22-Jul-2006
Comment from Nescher Pyscher
There'd be a world unreal (I've counted and read this line a couple of times now, and it reads as six syllables to me. Might wanna come double-check that.)
Mistake is fate, wink not God (Not sure what this line meant, Al.)
You're very good at the Tanka format, I think.
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There'd be a world unreal (I've counted and read this line a couple of times now, and it reads as six syllables to me. Might wanna come double-check that.)
Mistake is fate, wink not God (Not sure what this line meant, Al.)
You're very good at the Tanka format, I think.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2006
