Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Errors!"Experiences of living
148 total reviews
Comment from empress2k
Good expressions. Good concept. I am not sure I agree with
There'd be a world unreal
Unlike this of ours.
Since no one really knows what is real and what is not. At least according to quantum physics that is. Great job!
  |
Good expressions. Good concept. I am not sure I agree with
There'd be a world unreal
Unlike this of ours.
Since no one really knows what is real and what is not. At least according to quantum physics that is. Great job!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2006
Comment from greeneyes
Another short poem that gets right to the point!
You are so right, God is error free, but He makes others who are far from perfect!!!
thanks for sharing this!!
:)
|
Another short poem that gets right to the point!
You are so right, God is error free, but He makes others who are far from perfect!!!
thanks for sharing this!!
:)
Comment Written 31-May-2006
Comment from Babette Francis
Short sweet and to the point. I love it when I can read something good about God I think its his way of reminding me he has left me.
Thanks so much for the message
|
Short sweet and to the point. I love it when I can read something good about God I think its his way of reminding me he has left me.
Thanks so much for the message
Comment Written 31-May-2006
Comment from Bettybananas
Okay, I've read this a few timesand it seems you're struggling a bit with the language here. Poetry is all about bending the rulesa little but a number of lines in this cannot make sense as they stand:
If man were perfect!
There had been another world
of true unreal.
You start with an if structure (second conditional) and so need to use "would be" not "had" in the next line. The juxtaposition of true unreal was interesting though.
Mistake is fate; wink not God ...this line, no matter what way you read it just leaves a blank in expression. Perhaps to make mistakes is fate
Wink not God...is this a command to God that he should not wink? It doesn't make much sense to the rest of the poem but certainly less when it is read in any other way. What do you actually understand by the term wink? I notice you use it in your notes at the top of the poem and I think you may be confused as to its meaning.
Who's only error-err free....breaking this line down...who is only error!!! What should that mean? Did you mean whose?
I'm sorry but in such a short poem, so many mistakes are unnacceptable. Good luck with your writing.
 |
Okay, I've read this a few timesand it seems you're struggling a bit with the language here. Poetry is all about bending the rulesa little but a number of lines in this cannot make sense as they stand:
If man were perfect!
There had been another world
of true unreal.
You start with an if structure (second conditional) and so need to use "would be" not "had" in the next line. The juxtaposition of true unreal was interesting though.
Mistake is fate; wink not God ...this line, no matter what way you read it just leaves a blank in expression. Perhaps to make mistakes is fate
Wink not God...is this a command to God that he should not wink? It doesn't make much sense to the rest of the poem but certainly less when it is read in any other way. What do you actually understand by the term wink? I notice you use it in your notes at the top of the poem and I think you may be confused as to its meaning.
Who's only error-err free....breaking this line down...who is only error!!! What should that mean? Did you mean whose?
I'm sorry but in such a short poem, so many mistakes are unnacceptable. Good luck with your writing.
Comment Written 31-May-2006
Comment from drivenbackward
Excellent point and meaning. Why do people always complain about mistakes that they make? Maybe we should embrace them and learn from them. Errors are part of reality, otherwise what would we have to strive for?
|
Excellent point and meaning. Why do people always complain about mistakes that they make? Maybe we should embrace them and learn from them. Errors are part of reality, otherwise what would we have to strive for?
Comment Written 31-May-2006
Comment from mhk
A tricky poem. Your lines made me think. I like that. *g*
Mistake is fate; wink not God
Who's only error-err free.
God is error free, and yet created others with errors. Makes one think.
|
A tricky poem. Your lines made me think. I like that. *g*
Mistake is fate; wink not God
Who's only error-err free.
God is error free, and yet created others with errors. Makes one think.
Comment Written 31-May-2006
Comment from Senyai
Quite good again, ALLCREATOR, I am enjoying your short poems. This follows the pattern perfectly and your message is strong and clear. To err is human. I like you last lines,
Mistake is fate; wink not God
Who's only error-err free.
Thanks for sharing,
Senyai
|
Quite good again, ALLCREATOR, I am enjoying your short poems. This follows the pattern perfectly and your message is strong and clear. To err is human. I like you last lines,
Mistake is fate; wink not God
Who's only error-err free.
Thanks for sharing,
Senyai
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from Sandisan
A good poem. You said alot in just a few words. I guess nothing is totally
perfectly under God's blue skies, except God himself....
|
A good poem. You said alot in just a few words. I guess nothing is totally
perfectly under God's blue skies, except God himself....
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from Sassybaby
I like this one! It is truly great. I like the phrases and the structure that was used for it. I like the words that flow into each other and the senses used. It is great and nice to read.
|
I like this one! It is truly great. I like the phrases and the structure that was used for it. I like the words that flow into each other and the senses used. It is great and nice to read.
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from VICTIMEYES
well told and with confidence, don't blame God for your mistake, things you can't understand, He is perfect, not a human where in lies imperfection, blame God ? where are your creations, show them, you will only be able to show sin and death for those are our creations, this is what i think of after readig your writing.
|
well told and with confidence, don't blame God for your mistake, things you can't understand, He is perfect, not a human where in lies imperfection, blame God ? where are your creations, show them, you will only be able to show sin and death for those are our creations, this is what i think of after readig your writing.
Comment Written 30-May-2006
