Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Wisdom!"Experiences of living
212 total reviews
Comment from edinerie
A single clear message presented in a nicely crafted metaphor. The images are striking in the their power and brevity, and combine to create a single whole that is both effective and beautiful to read.
  |
A single clear message presented in a nicely crafted metaphor. The images are striking in the their power and brevity, and combine to create a single whole that is both effective and beautiful to read.
Comment Written 03-May-2006
Comment from shelley kaye
nice tanka
but
the syllable are off
in the 2nd and 3rd line
they each have one extra syllable:
Shades sun, soars hum drum hou r ly = 8
The sun qui et ly shines = 6
other than that
it's nice
thank you for sharing :-)
Sea~ Shell*s Thought For Today.... POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON
 |
nice tanka
but
the syllable are off
in the 2nd and 3rd line
they each have one extra syllable:
Shades sun, soars hum drum hou r ly = 8
The sun qui et ly shines = 6
other than that
it's nice
thank you for sharing :-)
Sea~ Shell*s Thought For Today.... POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON
Comment Written 02-May-2006
Comment from National Scholar
That's the true wisdom, the gifted poet refers so symbolically, clearly and passionately how fools reign in dark and how dark is vanished with the sunrise the wisdom spreads far and wide timelessly. So huge message in so tiny space, glorious, it deserves for SIX STARS the least, but I don't have.
|
That's the true wisdom, the gifted poet refers so symbolically, clearly and passionately how fools reign in dark and how dark is vanished with the sunrise the wisdom spreads far and wide timelessly. So huge message in so tiny space, glorious, it deserves for SIX STARS the least, but I don't have.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2006
Comment from Larry T
Well spoken words in this wonderfully crafted short poem. You have said a lot in just a few words. This has caused a lot of contemplative activity, I am sure.
|
Well spoken words in this wonderfully crafted short poem. You have said a lot in just a few words. This has caused a lot of contemplative activity, I am sure.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from john amsterdam
I like the poem and I like the idea, but what I don't like is when a poem is not written to its fullest because of style constrains, it only brings about ambiguity. Talking about true wisdom in a five-lined poem that could have been a six page epicis actually quite ironic. Why not take this and try to tell a story about how this came to be, have just a bunch of dialogue, or go deep into folklore with this. Ideas that have lots of philosophy, and albeit, history behind them should not be confined to style.
|
I like the poem and I like the idea, but what I don't like is when a poem is not written to its fullest because of style constrains, it only brings about ambiguity. Talking about true wisdom in a five-lined poem that could have been a six page epicis actually quite ironic. Why not take this and try to tell a story about how this came to be, have just a bunch of dialogue, or go deep into folklore with this. Ideas that have lots of philosophy, and albeit, history behind them should not be confined to style.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from schoggimom
I think that 'soar' should be 'soars'. Dark salutes wisdom, yes. Shades Sun and soars humdrum hourly. But then you move to the real wisdom...that shines timeless. And that fake, dies for good. I'm sorry but I am totally lost in what your point is. When the topic is this high in the order of life, we are talking cloud cover and people who are common need a clue as to what is going on. S.
|
I think that 'soar' should be 'soars'. Dark salutes wisdom, yes. Shades Sun and soars humdrum hourly. But then you move to the real wisdom...that shines timeless. And that fake, dies for good. I'm sorry but I am totally lost in what your point is. When the topic is this high in the order of life, we are talking cloud cover and people who are common need a clue as to what is going on. S.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from AmokMuse
This is good, very good. I think the lines about true wisdom shows truth and shines as fake wisdom is destroyed are powerful. As the sun rises and truth is shown, false ideals disappear. Or did I miss the whole thing entirely? LOL Cyndee
|
This is good, very good. I think the lines about true wisdom shows truth and shines as fake wisdom is destroyed are powerful. As the sun rises and truth is shown, false ideals disappear. Or did I miss the whole thing entirely? LOL Cyndee
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from Mylhibug
I am always amazed at the talent on this site and how much I learn. Now I must learn about this Tanka style of poetry. Yours says a lot in very few words, which always impresses me when I see poems that do that. Thanks.
|
I am always amazed at the talent on this site and how much I learn. Now I must learn about this Tanka style of poetry. Yours says a lot in very few words, which always impresses me when I see poems that do that. Thanks.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from Adora Bayles
I sure would like to seem of the fakes of the world die for good.I have to disagree that Dark salutes wisdom. Wisdom must stand in the quiet sunshine and be noticed by the fakers of the world. I can't stand fakers and liers! I like your poem.
Adora
|
I sure would like to seem of the fakes of the world die for good.I have to disagree that Dark salutes wisdom. Wisdom must stand in the quiet sunshine and be noticed by the fakers of the world. I can't stand fakers and liers! I like your poem.
Adora
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from mslink1
Wisdom sometimes shines through the eyes of a child. Do you see it? Their innocence is bright wisdom and cannot be hidden by the dark.
I love the concept of this poem. Well written and well versed.
Alcreator, think I am reading to much poetry. You poets are having a great effect on me, lol.
|
Wisdom sometimes shines through the eyes of a child. Do you see it? Their innocence is bright wisdom and cannot be hidden by the dark.
I love the concept of this poem. Well written and well versed.
Alcreator, think I am reading to much poetry. You poets are having a great effect on me, lol.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
