St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 62 "St. Louis Chapter 26 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from Rylie McBride
I really enjoyed your story and was able to catch on quickly to the character development without having read any previous chapters. I noticed that there was one sentence that might have an error, "Logan stood and waited. "Just get them." I believe you meant to say Just get in and I thought I would point it out. I also really loved how you used dialogue tags sparsely.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2020
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I really enjoyed your story and was able to catch on quickly to the character development without having read any previous chapters. I noticed that there was one sentence that might have an error, "Logan stood and waited. "Just get them." I believe you meant to say Just get in and I thought I would point it out. I also really loved how you used dialogue tags sparsely.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2020
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He told her to get the keys from his pocket and McKenzie hesitated. So Logan told her, "Just get them." meaning the keyes
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Ahhh, got it
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Ahhh, got it
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
"Where ever he wants to." (Wherever?)
I have a question. Do you know the ending of the novel when you begin writing it? I would love to try one sometime. A well written chapter, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2020
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"Where ever he wants to." (Wherever?)
I have a question. Do you know the ending of the novel when you begin writing it? I would love to try one sometime. A well written chapter, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 23-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the review. Yes, I do know the ending before I write, or so I think. This novel, I had an ending planned, but it changed. It had the same idea, but the exact ending did change.
Comment from bhogg
I've been reading your work for ten years. A quick observation...you like dogs! I had to smile when Mckenzie said she would pick the dog up. 145 pounds of dead weight? Don't think so.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2020
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I've been reading your work for ten years. A quick observation...you like dogs! I had to smile when Mckenzie said she would pick the dog up. 145 pounds of dead weight? Don't think so.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2020
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McKenzie thinks a lot of thing. LOL Thank you for the kind review. Yes, I do love dogs.
Comment from Bill Pinder
Great chapter to your book about her dog being shot with a horse tranquilizer. Glad to see that he will recover fully. I like reading about animals in stories as long as they're not abused. Bill
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Great chapter to your book about her dog being shot with a horse tranquilizer. Glad to see that he will recover fully. I like reading about animals in stories as long as they're not abused. Bill
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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All of my novels have at least one pet, usually more. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
The dialogue is good, realistic and in it we get Logan's emotional attachment to her dog. We see her wringing her hands as the vet examines him; a nice touch to the scene. We also get lots of personality in the dialogue; we see the humor of the vet, as he talks about the dog being too heavy to lift for him, the trust between owner and dog. The crime scene part was mysterious, as it should be. There's a good element of suspense in the air. estory
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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The dialogue is good, realistic and in it we get Logan's emotional attachment to her dog. We see her wringing her hands as the vet examines him; a nice touch to the scene. We also get lots of personality in the dialogue; we see the humor of the vet, as he talks about the dog being too heavy to lift for him, the trust between owner and dog. The crime scene part was mysterious, as it should be. There's a good element of suspense in the air. estory
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from joann r romei
This read fine, it was easy to follow and flowed, I did not spot any errors, and it was a detailed scene with the sick dog and concerned owners. Good luck with future chapters.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2020
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This read fine, it was easy to follow and flowed, I did not spot any errors, and it was a detailed scene with the sick dog and concerned owners. Good luck with future chapters.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from GE Parson
WOW! This a long story, over a thousand words. I'm not much
a dog lover, not wvcen a animal pet lover for that matter, I believe in seeing eye guide animals and guard dogs for children and old people and also farm working dogs for cattle and sheep; but I have no problem with othrs, like in your story being attached dogs etc. Anyway looking forward to the nxt chapter.
!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2020
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WOW! This a long story, over a thousand words. I'm not much
a dog lover, not wvcen a animal pet lover for that matter, I believe in seeing eye guide animals and guard dogs for children and old people and also farm working dogs for cattle and sheep; but I have no problem with othrs, like in your story being attached dogs etc. Anyway looking forward to the nxt chapter.
!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from susand3022
Hi Barbara,
Poor Edgar! A horse tranquilizer! I suppose they wanted to make sure? Well, if I were them, I'd be checking for bugs again. This is ridiculous... and I'd put in Nanny cams so I could keep an eye on my house! The cops are obviously not doing what they should be doing... How many can be in on this???
One little fix:
ransacked... one word
Keep it coming! :)
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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Hi Barbara,
Poor Edgar! A horse tranquilizer! I suppose they wanted to make sure? Well, if I were them, I'd be checking for bugs again. This is ridiculous... and I'd put in Nanny cams so I could keep an eye on my house! The cops are obviously not doing what they should be doing... How many can be in on this???
One little fix:
ransacked... one word
Keep it coming! :)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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I will make that correction. Thank you for the catch. Edger will have issues again.
Comment from Shirley McLain
An excellent chapter but yours always are. I didn't see a single error. You did a great job and as always I'm ready to read more. Take care and stay well. Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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An excellent chapter but yours always are. I didn't see a single error. You did a great job and as always I'm ready to read more. Take care and stay well. Shirley
Comment Written 20-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I was really worried about Edger, I'm so pleased he's alright. Now, let's get those nasties and put them away for life!!!! This was a particularly emotional part, Barbara, and very well written. I think I spotted one nit. Well done, my friend. Stay safe! :)) Sandra xx
I don't think, {He sat.} is part of the conversation, so need end speech tags after wait." and before, "Simon,...
McKenzie pointed. "Edger, wait." {He sat.} "Simon, sit up front. Jose, go over the other side.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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I was really worried about Edger, I'm so pleased he's alright. Now, let's get those nasties and put them away for life!!!! This was a particularly emotional part, Barbara, and very well written. I think I spotted one nit. Well done, my friend. Stay safe! :)) Sandra xx
I don't think, {He sat.} is part of the conversation, so need end speech tags after wait." and before, "Simon,...
McKenzie pointed. "Edger, wait." {He sat.} "Simon, sit up front. Jose, go over the other side.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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You're correct. I added 'He sat.' during an edit and still messed it u[ Thank you for the catch.
