There Ain't No Coming Back
A competition entry11 total reviews
Comment from Lance S. Loria
Good job. Bye bye cell phone. For one point and 2 member cents I thought there was no coming back to this review. No edits or adjustments necessary.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Good job. Bye bye cell phone. For one point and 2 member cents I thought there was no coming back to this review. No edits or adjustments necessary.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Who needs a cell phone anyway. Sorry about the poor pay but you must understand it's coronavirus pay rates.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
How weird is this? Well shall we guess what your job is? I don't know; the poem indicates that you are with someone who is dead (well done, by the way-the poem). You could be the Undertaker? He's the only one that would have his phone on his work table. Then again, it could just be your great imagination.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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How weird is this? Well shall we guess what your job is? I don't know; the poem indicates that you are with someone who is dead (well done, by the way-the poem). You could be the Undertaker? He's the only one that would have his phone on his work table. Then again, it could just be your great imagination.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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I'm a fiction writer and this is fiction. But don't tell the judges, I might be disqualified. Thank you for the review.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. That poor funeral director. He'll have to get yet another phone! Enjoyed the humor of the poem and it is a good job for a humor poem that you picked. I was surprised at the length of your lines but for storytelling, it worked. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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Lol. That poor funeral director. He'll have to get yet another phone! Enjoyed the humor of the poem and it is a good job for a humor poem that you picked. I was surprised at the length of your lines but for storytelling, it worked. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the review. I appreciate your comment about the lines. Maybe I should have broken them in two. I often use long lines in my poems. Are you also in the contest, if so, good luck
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You're welcome! It's fine if longer lines are more natural to you. It is your poem. No, I'm not in the contest. Hope you do well!
Comment from BeasPeas
This is absolutely great. We have to treat these things with humor. I had several undertaker friends years ago and they were a happy lot. I myself worked in the morgue for a while. You're lost without a sense of humor. A great entry for the contest. Good luck. Marilyn
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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This is absolutely great. We have to treat these things with humor. I had several undertaker friends years ago and they were a happy lot. I myself worked in the morgue for a while. You're lost without a sense of humor. A great entry for the contest. Good luck. Marilyn
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you Marilyn. I think the truest thing I've ever read was in the Reader's Digest Magazine and was on the pages titled 'Laughter is the best medicine.' I really appreciate your taking time to review my work.
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I used to read that, too. Reader's Digest was a good read. Marilyn
Comment from Praveen J.
Strong entry. Hilarious. Rhymes with a lilt. The idea of leaving objects in coffins dates back to the Egyptian civilization even if yours was not deliberate. Its at least not as bad as surgeons forgetting scissors inside a patient. I didn't get the opening line. What is the advantage to the job ? If anything business must be booming now.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Strong entry. Hilarious. Rhymes with a lilt. The idea of leaving objects in coffins dates back to the Egyptian civilization even if yours was not deliberate. Its at least not as bad as surgeons forgetting scissors inside a patient. I didn't get the opening line. What is the advantage to the job ? If anything business must be booming now.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Just reread that opening line, it does leave an unanswered question. Allow me to thing about that. Thank you for reviewing. I guess the advantage is; no one complains.
Comment from Bill Schott
This funny poem about your job, There Ain't No Coming Back, is a super humorous look at one of the pitfalls of being an undertaker. At least the data usage went down.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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This funny poem about your job, There Ain't No Coming Back, is a super humorous look at one of the pitfalls of being an undertaker. At least the data usage went down.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you Bill for stopping by and reading my nonsense. Wish I had of thought of data usage, it would have added another verse.
Comment from Darlene Franklin
A cosmetician in a mortuary. It took two reads to figure it out (I must have been blind the first read through!) Quite humorous, and I'm sure it's happened a time or two.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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A cosmetician in a mortuary. It took two reads to figure it out (I must have been blind the first read through!) Quite humorous, and I'm sure it's happened a time or two.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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I think I may have been blind when I wrote it. Thank you for the generous review
Comment from L.L.M
Hi there. A very witty and well written poem. Really clever and humor was spot on. So I take it your job is in the funeral business or make up artist for funerals. Well done writing it. Best of luck. Lourens
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Hi there. A very witty and well written poem. Really clever and humor was spot on. So I take it your job is in the funeral business or make up artist for funerals. Well done writing it. Best of luck. Lourens
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you Lourens for that lovely yellow addition. I appreciate your taking time to review my warped idea of funny
Comment from Pantygynt
This undertaker, overtaken by the worst of luck.
He'd let his phone down in the grave within cadaver's pocket.
Should have have jumped in like Hamlet, but he didn't have the pluck
Reported loss back to his boss and said that he'd forgot it.
Who said undertakers don't have a sense of humour? They clearly do, but on the job they are not allowed to display it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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This undertaker, overtaken by the worst of luck.
He'd let his phone down in the grave within cadaver's pocket.
Should have have jumped in like Hamlet, but he didn't have the pluck
Reported loss back to his boss and said that he'd forgot it.
Who said undertakers don't have a sense of humour? They clearly do, but on the job they are not allowed to display it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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What a pity I didn't think of that, it would have made a great final verse. Thank you for reading and reviewing my nonsense
Comment from Tim Noble
Excellent idea of the third-rate undertaker who loses bodies and phones and is not great at grammar either. My only negative comment is that the words do not flow easily off the tongue (or at least off my tongue) because the meter is so often broken. An example is "proper" at the end of the first verse: that word could be deleted.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Excellent idea of the third-rate undertaker who loses bodies and phones and is not great at grammar either. My only negative comment is that the words do not flow easily off the tongue (or at least off my tongue) because the meter is so often broken. An example is "proper" at the end of the first verse: that word could be deleted.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thanks Tim for stopping by and reviewing. I really appreciate your comment
