Fighting Temptation
A situation that could have gone bad.3 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
You are certainly not alone if this is bio. It has happened to me a few times. There are many very attractive and provocative people in this world and I am a very observant person.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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You are certainly not alone if this is bio. It has happened to me a few times. There are many very attractive and provocative people in this world and I am a very observant person.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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Thank you for your read and review. Appreciated it.
Comment from susand3022
Okay... temptation poetry...This is a different take on the topic for sure, but I like the progression. I do have a suggestion on the formatting. I like the progression better at the beginning than by having so much separation farther on. I don't know if this is a specific type of poem or not, as you didn't say... but I think it might read better if you formatted it as you did in the first stanza of four lines, then added the refrain lines making the stanza itself six lines instead of four. This way you end up with only three stanzas, but only three refrains so they aren't too much, and the story is broken up in a way that makes sense but isn't separated too much.
A simple re-formatting of your already good words can take you from good to really good. :)
Good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Okay... temptation poetry...This is a different take on the topic for sure, but I like the progression. I do have a suggestion on the formatting. I like the progression better at the beginning than by having so much separation farther on. I don't know if this is a specific type of poem or not, as you didn't say... but I think it might read better if you formatted it as you did in the first stanza of four lines, then added the refrain lines making the stanza itself six lines instead of four. This way you end up with only three stanzas, but only three refrains so they aren't too much, and the story is broken up in a way that makes sense but isn't separated too much.
A simple re-formatting of your already good words can take you from good to really good. :)
Good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Thanks much for the read and the suggestion. I will edit.
Comment from Marilyn Lou Berry
A very good exploration of attraction and the resisting of temptation with bad consequences. I found the poem a fascinating read on how this teacher avoided the bad, hard as it was, and kept his integrity intact. VERY good poem.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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A very good exploration of attraction and the resisting of temptation with bad consequences. I found the poem a fascinating read on how this teacher avoided the bad, hard as it was, and kept his integrity intact. VERY good poem.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Thanks so much for the read and your encouraging comments.
