Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Devils!"Experiences of living
107 total reviews
Comment from AK
never written a tanka poem.
excellent work
I like the use of illusion paired with desire i can certainly understand where you are coming from with this poem
rich use of metaphor and the line "more and more" amplifies with each word.
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never written a tanka poem.
excellent work
I like the use of illusion paired with desire i can certainly understand where you are coming from with this poem
rich use of metaphor and the line "more and more" amplifies with each word.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2006
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi ALCREATOR,
What a powerful write in so few words. Yes the devil want us to see every thing looking wonderful (tempation indeed.) Then wants us to continue to do more.
gert
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Hi ALCREATOR,
What a powerful write in so few words. Yes the devil want us to see every thing looking wonderful (tempation indeed.) Then wants us to continue to do more.
gert
Comment Written 26-Jul-2006
Comment from sharon fallis
This is a very good Tanka. Well thought out and portrayed. The message is loud and clear. Good bit of writing. Nice word form and usage. Great imagery. Thank you for sharing. Sharon
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This is a very good Tanka. Well thought out and portrayed. The message is loud and clear. Good bit of writing. Nice word form and usage. Great imagery. Thank you for sharing. Sharon
Comment Written 26-Jul-2006
Comment from Mrs Jones
Myself I know a couple of devils. The structure is correct. Nicely done with this tanka.
"Want more, more and more somehow "
Cheers
Rose
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Myself I know a couple of devils. The structure is correct. Nicely done with this tanka.
"Want more, more and more somehow "
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 26-Jul-2006
Comment from ElaineMorgan
Hmmm...I like this. It made me think, which I believe is the hallmark of good poetry.
You are quite accomplished with the tanka format.
The artwork is a nice support to the content.
Well done.
Elaine
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Hmmm...I like this. It made me think, which I believe is the hallmark of good poetry.
You are quite accomplished with the tanka format.
The artwork is a nice support to the content.
Well done.
Elaine
Comment Written 25-Jul-2006
Comment from mamaboots
Hello AW,
This was very interesting. I liked the picture and the presentation was nice. There is no rationality where devils tread. I liked how you packed such a powerful message into the restrictions of a tanka. Well-written and enjoyable!
Thanks for sharing and have a great day,
mamaboots
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Hello AW,
This was very interesting. I liked the picture and the presentation was nice. There is no rationality where devils tread. I liked how you packed such a powerful message into the restrictions of a tanka. Well-written and enjoyable!
Thanks for sharing and have a great day,
mamaboots
Comment Written 25-Jul-2006
Comment from Renee' J Thomas
That is a very unusual poem describing the devil's allure.
You said it well
It was very short and read well and I liked the picture very well also. I love fanartreveiw, I have several photos there also :-)
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That is a very unusual poem describing the devil's allure.
You said it well
It was very short and read well and I liked the picture very well also. I love fanartreveiw, I have several photos there also :-)
Comment Written 25-Jul-2006
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, what a poetic bomb! Toom my breath away for a minute with the strength of the message coupled by a very fitting image.
Certainly, rationality is not what we find on the planet of illusion and desire. You capture it so well! And certainly, "concord of balance" is not what devils have in store for you.
What a delightful short poem.. Certainly a breath of fresh air.
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Oh, what a poetic bomb! Toom my breath away for a minute with the strength of the message coupled by a very fitting image.
Certainly, rationality is not what we find on the planet of illusion and desire. You capture it so well! And certainly, "concord of balance" is not what devils have in store for you.
What a delightful short poem.. Certainly a breath of fresh air.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2006
Comment from simon_morris
It works perfectly. It is a complete message and brevity is the antithesis of the devil's work!
It is a simple answer to the creature who is insatiable.
It is also a warning to those who would be tempted by the devil's ways. The price is everything you have, everything you are and then he wants more.
The only time I had sympathy for someone who wanted more was when Oliver confronted the beadle. "ee wants more!"
Excellent piece of work.
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It works perfectly. It is a complete message and brevity is the antithesis of the devil's work!
It is a simple answer to the creature who is insatiable.
It is also a warning to those who would be tempted by the devil's ways. The price is everything you have, everything you are and then he wants more.
The only time I had sympathy for someone who wanted more was when Oliver confronted the beadle. "ee wants more!"
Excellent piece of work.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2006
Comment from starkat
Hi AW, Ah, the little devils always wanting more. And there is no rationality to their desires. Is there suffering involved when desires are satisfyed? Want, want, more, more...can't see the illusion... not aware of an illusion. Wish all you see in your powerful imagination. Can the devils materialize their wishes? Little halloween devils want more and more candy. Desire and want fill the streets and plastic pumpkins. Reality arrived by want and desire. Illusion shattered. Can you wish what you don't see? Devil-take-care...getting what you wish for might make you think twice. But, it's all an illusion. Continue on with the wanting game.. reach for the Moon. Embrace the illusion. Enjoyed your tanka-treat. Cheers. ;-0
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Hi AW, Ah, the little devils always wanting more. And there is no rationality to their desires. Is there suffering involved when desires are satisfyed? Want, want, more, more...can't see the illusion... not aware of an illusion. Wish all you see in your powerful imagination. Can the devils materialize their wishes? Little halloween devils want more and more candy. Desire and want fill the streets and plastic pumpkins. Reality arrived by want and desire. Illusion shattered. Can you wish what you don't see? Devil-take-care...getting what you wish for might make you think twice. But, it's all an illusion. Continue on with the wanting game.. reach for the Moon. Embrace the illusion. Enjoyed your tanka-treat. Cheers. ;-0
Comment Written 25-Jul-2006
