Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Be Nada!"Experiences of living
199 total reviews
Comment from Bryana
You have written some poems that I really like, but I don't understand this one, I want to understand a poem without having to read authors notes. I write in another language but I always write the translation, but they already know what they are reading.
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You have written some poems that I really like, but I don't understand this one, I want to understand a poem without having to read authors notes. I write in another language but I always write the translation, but they already know what they are reading.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
Comment from Janet Foor
Something I learned when I was doing some public speaking for my job was "know your audience". I sense that have something to say and you may be very talented but I'm afraid it's lost on me and I suspect, most of the readers.
Best wishes
Janet
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Something I learned when I was doing some public speaking for my job was "know your audience". I sense that have something to say and you may be very talented but I'm afraid it's lost on me and I suspect, most of the readers.
Best wishes
Janet
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
Comment from Eric Corsten
I don't really understand where your coming from here. still it is unique and interesting to some degree. thanks you for sharing
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I don't really understand where your coming from here. still it is unique and interesting to some degree. thanks you for sharing
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
Comment from arsinBW
Good as always. This one gave much insight and dilema at the same time. I enjoyed as I always do with your work. Look foward to more.
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Good as always. This one gave much insight and dilema at the same time. I enjoyed as I always do with your work. Look foward to more.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
Comment from Robin Gilmor
Interesting challenge to the mind until I found the author
notes to help clarify. The read was difficult and almost
gave up due to the struggle. Good job. Robin :)
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Interesting challenge to the mind until I found the author
notes to help clarify. The read was difficult and almost
gave up due to the struggle. Good job. Robin :)
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
Comment from nomi338
In this society people ascribe ability to those who are tall, therefore if you are tall and penniless, you have failed completely, to the point that you are nothing, you are worthless. If you are a tall person with no worth you are doomed. Who can help you? You are probably some kind of criminal, or soon will become one. Nice work.
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In this society people ascribe ability to those who are tall, therefore if you are tall and penniless, you have failed completely, to the point that you are nothing, you are worthless. If you are a tall person with no worth you are doomed. Who can help you? You are probably some kind of criminal, or soon will become one. Nice work.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
Comment from The Guardian
Very catchy with a sharpness that cuts through fluff. This is different from your typical style. Its raw and honest. I love the use of homophones and the balance of metre.
Good job,
Merle
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Very catchy with a sharpness that cuts through fluff. This is different from your typical style. Its raw and honest. I love the use of homophones and the balance of metre.
Good job,
Merle
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
Comment from AnonymousWisdom
Here we go again.
Follows 5-7-5-7-7 syllable count.
Okay, here's some advice:
The Scottish references are interesting. However, you use way too many in rapid succession. The effect this has on a reader is that of a landslide--they'll spend time checking your author notes instead of reading your poem, and still come away confused because they've been submerged in something that, to them, doesn't make any sense.
Suggestion: many of your poems that I have read are in strict syllable counts, such as 5-7-5 and 5-7-5-7-7. It may be helpful for you to step back and try freestyle. This will give you much-needed freedom and space in your writing, which you can use to more fully explain your purpose and emotions.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Here we go again.
Follows 5-7-5-7-7 syllable count.
Okay, here's some advice:
The Scottish references are interesting. However, you use way too many in rapid succession. The effect this has on a reader is that of a landslide--they'll spend time checking your author notes instead of reading your poem, and still come away confused because they've been submerged in something that, to them, doesn't make any sense.
Suggestion: many of your poems that I have read are in strict syllable counts, such as 5-7-5 and 5-7-5-7-7. It may be helpful for you to step back and try freestyle. This will give you much-needed freedom and space in your writing, which you can use to more fully explain your purpose and emotions.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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THANKS
Comment from visionary1234
Al, I can see yu're trying to comment, perhaps, on being poor, having no possessions etc and perhaps a social stigma that comes with that - but why the hell in Scottish dear? Nab means to seize or steal, but nap, I believes, means what I'm going to do right now! Why don't you try something completely without author notes, so you don't have to "explain" it? It would be much for fun for us all, yes? :)S
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Al, I can see yu're trying to comment, perhaps, on being poor, having no possessions etc and perhaps a social stigma that comes with that - but why the hell in Scottish dear? Nab means to seize or steal, but nap, I believes, means what I'm going to do right now! Why don't you try something completely without author notes, so you don't have to "explain" it? It would be much for fun for us all, yes? :)S
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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THANKS
Comment from ElegantButler
The poet, it seems, has faced the dubious joy of poverty (that being that you can't be robbed if you're poor) and has decided, from the poem's sarcastic tone, that for the sake of comfort, he would gladly take the risk.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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The poet, it seems, has faced the dubious joy of poverty (that being that you can't be robbed if you're poor) and has decided, from the poem's sarcastic tone, that for the sake of comfort, he would gladly take the risk.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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THANKS
