Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Be Nada!"Experiences of living
199 total reviews
Comment from E. W. Crowe
I like the alliteration. This is a fun, difficult poem to read. I'm sorry I can't give you any more review than that, being that I don't really understand it. But it was interesting to try and figure out. THanks.
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I like the alliteration. This is a fun, difficult poem to read. I'm sorry I can't give you any more review than that, being that I don't really understand it. But it was interesting to try and figure out. THanks.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
Comment from Hetty
Hi Alcreator,
Well, fust I dinna ken yer wee poem but then I said to myself "had your wisht" (? is that right?) and I looked agin.
Your writing is a bit like an oil painting. Not obvious immediately but after some study, hey presto there it is! I like the tall penniless - sort of reminded me of american "tall drink of water" - tall also with penniless indicates 'thin' to me. Most appropriate.
"Doom you are" - or should it be "Doom yer are"! reminds me of Dad's Army's scottish funeral proprietor who used to say "We're doomed, we're all doomed!"
Not sure how this will apply to the masses but you could easily get it printed in a scottish or gaelic magazine.
Thought provoking and perhaps a little paranoid? lol!
Good work!
Hetty
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Hi Alcreator,
Well, fust I dinna ken yer wee poem but then I said to myself "had your wisht" (? is that right?) and I looked agin.
Your writing is a bit like an oil painting. Not obvious immediately but after some study, hey presto there it is! I like the tall penniless - sort of reminded me of american "tall drink of water" - tall also with penniless indicates 'thin' to me. Most appropriate.
"Doom you are" - or should it be "Doom yer are"! reminds me of Dad's Army's scottish funeral proprietor who used to say "We're doomed, we're all doomed!"
Not sure how this will apply to the masses but you could easily get it printed in a scottish or gaelic magazine.
Thought provoking and perhaps a little paranoid? lol!
Good work!
Hetty
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
Comment from sengwriter
AW,
A tanka of satirical mood. English like word ( must be slangs like ) made your poem a little difficult at first but your note at the bottom helped me a lot.
And then I found my guessing for every word used here is almost right and the mood of your lines then became more transparent.
So I can say you now that I've enjoyed the poem. Life is really like this.
Bhalo Aachen to?
Gautam
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AW,
A tanka of satirical mood. English like word ( must be slangs like ) made your poem a little difficult at first but your note at the bottom helped me a lot.
And then I found my guessing for every word used here is almost right and the mood of your lines then became more transparent.
So I can say you now that I've enjoyed the poem. Life is really like this.
Bhalo Aachen to?
Gautam
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
Comment from Kingsland
I don't usually review these forms of poetry
but I found this piece to be quite inventive
you have found a different way to get your message through here
this was my pleasure to read and review... John
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I don't usually review these forms of poetry
but I found this piece to be quite inventive
you have found a different way to get your message through here
this was my pleasure to read and review... John
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
Comment from findinforest
well i guess as an ameteur my voice means nothing. this poem made little sense to me at all , a view perhaps shared by many people you discount with such ease. many 'lesser' works have given me a joy in my day. this sadly does not.
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well i guess as an ameteur my voice means nothing. this poem made little sense to me at all , a view perhaps shared by many people you discount with such ease. many 'lesser' works have given me a joy in my day. this sadly does not.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
Comment from HappyB8888
Highly creative, Al!! I like what you've done with it. A thinker for surely sure, this! You've done your homework and I like that. It may not be traditional, but it's original! That's not easy to accomplish!! :)
That Happy Chica,
Marcia Ellen
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Highly creative, Al!! I like what you've done with it. A thinker for surely sure, this! You've done your homework and I like that. It may not be traditional, but it's original! That's not easy to accomplish!! :)
That Happy Chica,
Marcia Ellen
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
Comment from idealgirl315
I just got back to this web and I loved
your poem and even, though
it lost me I git it. That's why
I loved it , found it to be
short and to the point.
Good work.
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I just got back to this web and I loved
your poem and even, though
it lost me I git it. That's why
I loved it , found it to be
short and to the point.
Good work.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
Comment from Doreen Dulally
I don't entirely agree with this
people with nothing ...out do the rich ..for being happy
the rich worry about money and keeping up with the Joneses...people with none have no worries they are the Joneses
and to make fun of them ...shows the bad upbringing of the rich
people who have none ..are taught manners..Which are not to make fun of less fortunate
but good luck as always
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I don't entirely agree with this
people with nothing ...out do the rich ..for being happy
the rich worry about money and keeping up with the Joneses...people with none have no worries they are the Joneses
and to make fun of them ...shows the bad upbringing of the rich
people who have none ..are taught manners..Which are not to make fun of less fortunate
but good luck as always
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
Comment from Robert Loy Gonzalez
i liked it alot, the lit. you used was outstanding, something i need to learn from you, keep up the good work, i enjoyed reading it
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i liked it alot, the lit. you used was outstanding, something i need to learn from you, keep up the good work, i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
Comment from Bloomer Burbs
Hi ALCREATOR WRITER
Even after i read your author's notes, read it many times, and read the other reviews, i still do not properly realise what you are trying to express.
for example,
'When tall penniless you are'
What does the above mean?
to me, if a poem is so misunderstood by the reader, then it has failed. after all, poetry is about communication.
and if you put a poem at the top of the listings on fanstory you are opening yourself self up for a variety of opinions.
no offense intented, only trying to be honest. Only one opinion of many of course.
Best wishes Peter
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Hi ALCREATOR WRITER
Even after i read your author's notes, read it many times, and read the other reviews, i still do not properly realise what you are trying to express.
for example,
'When tall penniless you are'
What does the above mean?
to me, if a poem is so misunderstood by the reader, then it has failed. after all, poetry is about communication.
and if you put a poem at the top of the listings on fanstory you are opening yourself self up for a variety of opinions.
no offense intented, only trying to be honest. Only one opinion of many of course.
Best wishes Peter
Comment Written 18-Jul-2006
