Daughter
a dribble, 52 words32 total reviews
Comment from joycetreasures
Hi Bill,
I love stories that begin one way and turns you around in the ending story. You said quite a lot in 52 words. Your description of the child was very vivid and descriptive. Her motionless legs had me going in a different direction with your story. But, the end tells me Silas is sculpting a statue of the child/his daughter, I THINK! Not sure what type of picture you would have used to describe your story. lol Good job! Happy writing:-)
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
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Hi Bill,
I love stories that begin one way and turns you around in the ending story. You said quite a lot in 52 words. Your description of the child was very vivid and descriptive. Her motionless legs had me going in a different direction with your story. But, the end tells me Silas is sculpting a statue of the child/his daughter, I THINK! Not sure what type of picture you would have used to describe your story. lol Good job! Happy writing:-)
Comment Written 28-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Joyce, for giving this a look and the kind review. Bill
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You are welcome.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Congrats on your prize, Bill! Well-deserved. Wonderful story, masterfully told--an original for sure. Missed its release--So glad I caught up! Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
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Congrats on your prize, Bill! Well-deserved. Wonderful story, masterfully told--an original for sure. Missed its release--So glad I caught up! Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 28-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Liz.
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Thank you, Liz.
Comment from Susan X Smith
This is an interesting story about a sculptor, who excels in making life-like pieces. The atmosphere, though, is somber, and reminds the reader of death.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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This is an interesting story about a sculptor, who excels in making life-like pieces. The atmosphere, though, is somber, and reminds the reader of death.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Thanks, Susan, for giving this a look.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Tragic moments about your daughter are well visualized and expressed in an artistic order, in an affectionate feeling about his child; well said, well done.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Tragic moments about your daughter are well visualized and expressed in an artistic order, in an affectionate feeling about his child; well said, well done.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Thank you, ALD
Comment from Ogden
It seems Silas loved his work. I appreciate your 'Daughter', a dribble of few words, well-worth reading.
Good luck in the voting, and keep safe!
Ogden (Don)
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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It seems Silas loved his work. I appreciate your 'Daughter', a dribble of few words, well-worth reading.
Good luck in the voting, and keep safe!
Ogden (Don)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Don, for giving this a look.
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You'e welcome, Bill.
Good work!
Don
Comment from Anya Trofimova
I love the ending of this piece! It is written very skilfully and Silas becomes a fully-developed realistic character in few words. You strike the nail on the head when it comes to the balance between too much and too little description and adjectives.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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I love the ending of this piece! It is written very skilfully and Silas becomes a fully-developed realistic character in few words. You strike the nail on the head when it comes to the balance between too much and too little description and adjectives.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Thanks, Anya, for the encouraging and kind review.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This was... scary. I didn't know where this was going but didn't think I would like the outcome. But I did. Great job. This was a creative and suspenseful short ... short story.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
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This was... scary. I didn't know where this was going but didn't think I would like the outcome. But I did. Great job. This was a creative and suspenseful short ... short story.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Michael, for taking the ride. :)
Comment from RodG
You set the scene perfectly and your ending was a delightful surprise. One wonders how a sculptor like Michaelangelo would view his daughter and what scene from childhood would he try to capture? Nicely done. Rod
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
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You set the scene perfectly and your ending was a delightful surprise. One wonders how a sculptor like Michaelangelo would view his daughter and what scene from childhood would he try to capture? Nicely done. Rod
Comment Written 14-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Rod, for the great review.
Comment from Opeyemi Diamond
This is quite nice. I may not really understand it but I'm sure you do a lot. It's a pretty 52 word poem. Thanks for sharing. Well done. Smiles..
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
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This is quite nice. I may not really understand it but I'm sure you do a lot. It's a pretty 52 word poem. Thanks for sharing. Well done. Smiles..
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
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Silas is a sculptor finishing a statue.
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Really?? Lol no wonder I couldn't understand it perfectly. And I just remembered you mentioned chisel.
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Most reviewers thought it was creepy until the chisel was mentioned.
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Lolz I know they would
Comment from kahpot
Very clever-( the sculptor I mean) you are very good at taking us one way then turn on us at the end, an excellent read very well written and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
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Very clever-( the sculptor I mean) you are very good at taking us one way then turn on us at the end, an excellent read very well written and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 09-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
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Thanks, kahpot