Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Morals!"Experiences of living
185 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
Today's leaders care more about themselves than their followers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
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Today's leaders care more about themselves than their followers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from LaDonnaCole
When I lose something,
You teach me ethics, morals,
What about leaders?
Lose our nation, race, country,
Yield to foreign terrorists!
You have a great minimalist effect going here, almost Spartan. Saying so much with such few words.
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When I lose something,
You teach me ethics, morals,
What about leaders?
Lose our nation, race, country,
Yield to foreign terrorists!
You have a great minimalist effect going here, almost Spartan. Saying so much with such few words.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from Michael Wayne
I like how this piece is ambiguous in defining the nature of the nation in question. It could be any country on this Earth from the perspective of any reader.
Well done.
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I like how this piece is ambiguous in defining the nature of the nation in question. It could be any country on this Earth from the perspective of any reader.
Well done.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from Rondeno
Who is yielding to foreign terrorists? Why are terrorists always perceived as "foreign"? Who is losing nation/race/country? What, in your view, is the difference between nation and country?
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Who is yielding to foreign terrorists? Why are terrorists always perceived as "foreign"? Who is losing nation/race/country? What, in your view, is the difference between nation and country?
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Oh how much I agree with this. As individuals, we are to be responsible while those in charge seem to answer to no one. Great write, and so sad too~Debbie
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Oh how much I agree with this. As individuals, we are to be responsible while those in charge seem to answer to no one. Great write, and so sad too~Debbie
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Your syllable count is faultless, and your words, again need a lot of thought. I can only say, some times I understand you but not sure about this one. We all need good morals, so in that respect, I enjoyed your message. xsx Sandra
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Your syllable count is faultless, and your words, again need a lot of thought. I can only say, some times I understand you but not sure about this one. We all need good morals, so in that respect, I enjoyed your message. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in proper syllable count, but the message is not clear
When I lose something - what is something
you teach me ethics - who is you?
There is obviously some political commentary going on here, but it's not clear enough for the reader to get the message - what have the leaders been remiss in not doing? Is this about a specific country at a specific time in history? Are foreign terrorists using the void in leadership as a way to take over more easily?
Brooke
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Your poem is in proper syllable count, but the message is not clear
When I lose something - what is something
you teach me ethics - who is you?
There is obviously some political commentary going on here, but it's not clear enough for the reader to get the message - what have the leaders been remiss in not doing? Is this about a specific country at a specific time in history? Are foreign terrorists using the void in leadership as a way to take over more easily?
Brooke
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from ravenblack
without leaders, we often yield to baser instincts. the problem w/the way the poem is structured is that it seems to tell us to yield to foreign terrorists, which I am sure you did not mean
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without leaders, we often yield to baser instincts. the problem w/the way the poem is structured is that it seems to tell us to yield to foreign terrorists, which I am sure you did not mean
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from SueZen
Forgive me if my sole remark 'means' I have not understood
essence poem, so yours to 'question'... why ! versus ?
last line ? Do you 'get' me ? Ohla, this review is full of
question marks...(I did read background & understnad that this poem is part/chapter of more !)
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Forgive me if my sole remark 'means' I have not understood
essence poem, so yours to 'question'... why ! versus ?
last line ? Do you 'get' me ? Ohla, this review is full of
question marks...(I did read background & understnad that this poem is part/chapter of more !)
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
Comment from TKField
Well, ALD, you at least seem to have boarded the train to comprehension junction and proper usage-ville. Good for you. It makes it so much more pleasant for the reader. Unfortunately, you're not there yet. While I kinda, sorta get what your saying, this is all over the place. First, I guess you're thanking God (you) for giving you ethics and morals when you lose "something". Does He help you find your car keys for instance? It's just too vague. You then write "What about leaders?" Well, what about them? Are you saying that they aren't helping you find ethics and morals when you lose "something"? Whose leaders, what nation and which race exactly needs saving? Note: saying nation and country is redundant. And while I am totally in favor of not yielding to foreign terrorists, this is just too generalized and vague. But at least I think I get the gist this time.
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Well, ALD, you at least seem to have boarded the train to comprehension junction and proper usage-ville. Good for you. It makes it so much more pleasant for the reader. Unfortunately, you're not there yet. While I kinda, sorta get what your saying, this is all over the place. First, I guess you're thanking God (you) for giving you ethics and morals when you lose "something". Does He help you find your car keys for instance? It's just too vague. You then write "What about leaders?" Well, what about them? Are you saying that they aren't helping you find ethics and morals when you lose "something"? Whose leaders, what nation and which race exactly needs saving? Note: saying nation and country is redundant. And while I am totally in favor of not yielding to foreign terrorists, this is just too generalized and vague. But at least I think I get the gist this time.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2013
