House Rules
Some areas are off-limits for a reason...30 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This seventy-five-word story, House Rules, has the right word count and brings us a perfect moment to turn the tables on old Dad and Mom. Great capture of a moment.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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This seventy-five-word story, House Rules, has the right word count and brings us a perfect moment to turn the tables on old Dad and Mom. Great capture of a moment.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Thank you for your review, Bill!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
What a charming flash fiction story, my mystery friend. It was well written and engaging. The stinger in the end was brilliant. I hope this was a true story as it sure seemed to be.
Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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What a charming flash fiction story, my mystery friend. It was well written and engaging. The stinger in the end was brilliant. I hope this was a true story as it sure seemed to be.
Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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I must confess, Rhonda: I totally made it up... sorry? ;-) But I do hope you found a smile - that was the goal!! Thank you for your review!
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Just shows your talent. As writers, even fantasy, we want to make it seem real! Bravo!
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Just shows your talent. As writers, even fantasy, we want to make it seem real! Bravo!
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Just shows your talent. As writers, even fantasy, we want to make it seem real! Bravo!
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Just shows your talent. As writers, even fantasy, we want to make it seem real! Bravo!
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Just shows your talent. As writers, even fantasy, we want to make it seem real! Bravo!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is interesting. I've read several accounts which needed a drum roll and clash of cymbals at the end. This account needs one. It is one of the best so far. You lead the reader on as to what is going to happen. Some may not think this is funny but I do.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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This is interesting. I've read several accounts which needed a drum roll and clash of cymbals at the end. This account needs one. It is one of the best so far. You lead the reader on as to what is going to happen. Some may not think this is funny but I do.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Oh, I'm so glad you found a smile here, Liz -- it was the goal!! Thank you for your review!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is excellent, or better than, but I have no more stars to give out, so that's it. You have provided a good strong ending, in true flash fiction style. annd the lead-up story is convincing and well-rounded.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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This is excellent, or better than, but I have no more stars to give out, so that's it. You have provided a good strong ending, in true flash fiction style. annd the lead-up story is convincing and well-rounded.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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So glad you found a smile here, Katherine - that was the goal! I shall gladly accept your intentional stars! ;-) Thank you!
Comment from Puzzle
Holy cow. The twist ending is ahhhh maxing. Lol. This made me laugh. I used to love the love poems but now I think these short stories are my favorite. Great job.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Holy cow. The twist ending is ahhhh maxing. Lol. This made me laugh. I used to love the love poems but now I think these short stories are my favorite. Great job.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Coco Jane
Funny and totally believable!
A couple mechanical errors:
In para 4, "sophomore does" not need to be capitalized. Also, the sentence is dangling--it suggests that your siblings' ages were sophomores. Maybe just say something like, "with five kids including a baby, we had little privacy."
Maybe name the "noises"--clunks, moans, whatever.
I like "all over each other"--it gets the point across effectively without being graphic.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Funny and totally believable!
A couple mechanical errors:
In para 4, "sophomore does" not need to be capitalized. Also, the sentence is dangling--it suggests that your siblings' ages were sophomores. Maybe just say something like, "with five kids including a baby, we had little privacy."
Maybe name the "noises"--clunks, moans, whatever.
I like "all over each other"--it gets the point across effectively without being graphic.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Thank you... I agree about the sophomores... put in a quick fix that doesn't change the word count... appreciate the heads up!
Comment from Dawn Munro
Aaahahahahaha! Now that's just not nice. (But the story is a delight!) I should think the daughter or son would be a bit uncomfortable letting it be known that they witnessed Mom and Dad in a dance...
Good luck!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Aaahahahahaha! Now that's just not nice. (But the story is a delight!) I should think the daughter or son would be a bit uncomfortable letting it be known that they witnessed Mom and Dad in a dance...
Good luck!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Glad you got a smile here, Dawn. For the record, it's 100% fiction - not even sure where my brain came up with it! Thanks for the review!
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:) I knew it was fiction, of course.
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:) I knew it was fiction, of course. You're welcome.
Comment from Patty Palmer
A cute story! I can imagine what they had to say when you told them that. Ya gotta practice what you preach! LOL This is a cute story for the contest.
Patty
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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A cute story! I can imagine what they had to say when you told them that. Ya gotta practice what you preach! LOL This is a cute story for the contest.
Patty
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Glad you got a smile here, Patty. For the record, it's 100% fiction - not even sure where my brain came up with it! Thanks for the review!
Comment from Susan Larson
Very clever story with a very clever ending. This is a very enjoyable read. I remember always telling our kids to turn off the lights and the sound system on the deck. One night my husband and I were dancing in the dark and one of the boys turned off the music... just like we always told them to do. Wishing you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Very clever story with a very clever ending. This is a very enjoyable read. I remember always telling our kids to turn off the lights and the sound system on the deck. One night my husband and I were dancing in the dark and one of the boys turned off the music... just like we always told them to do. Wishing you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Glad you got a smile and a fun memory here, Susan. For the record, it's 100% fiction - not even sure where my brain came up with it! Thanks for the review!
Comment from Ulla
This is a great little flash and with a great twist. So you got your own back.
It's very funny and it is also very well written. Great entry and I wish you the best of luck. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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This is a great little flash and with a great twist. So you got your own back.
It's very funny and it is also very well written. Great entry and I wish you the best of luck. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Glad you got a smile here, Ulla. For the record, it's 100% fiction - not even sure where my brain came up with it! Thanks for the review!
