Jealousy
An alphabetical rendition of jealousy.11 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This acrostic poem, JEALOUSY, follows the vertical theme and also follows the destructive results that accompany this corrosive emotion.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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This acrostic poem, JEALOUSY, follows the vertical theme and also follows the destructive results that accompany this corrosive emotion.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from TheManojArora
The lines fit together, that's good.
Here are a few errors I spotted and suggestions:
O is for outsiders who do mingle - not sure if it's grammatically correct. Try removing the 'do' or rephrasing it entirely like 'O is for the outsiders you mingle with'
S is for my sanity; non-existent - You don't need the semi-colon. A comma will do. Or better yet, 'S is for my non-existent sanity'. You may choose a different word for 'non-existent' - check a thesaurus.
All the best!
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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The lines fit together, that's good.
Here are a few errors I spotted and suggestions:
O is for outsiders who do mingle - not sure if it's grammatically correct. Try removing the 'do' or rephrasing it entirely like 'O is for the outsiders you mingle with'
S is for my sanity; non-existent - You don't need the semi-colon. A comma will do. Or better yet, 'S is for my non-existent sanity'. You may choose a different word for 'non-existent' - check a thesaurus.
All the best!
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Your purported errors and suggestions are noted.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
An alphabetical rendition of jealousy.
Jealousy
Hello, my friend,
Somehow, the way you wrote this alphabet poem is taking the easy way out. The beauty or the challenge for an alphabet poem is to make it flow using the first letter of the line to match the letter in the alphabet...you just repeated ...j is for... and so on.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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An alphabetical rendition of jealousy.
Jealousy
Hello, my friend,
Somehow, the way you wrote this alphabet poem is taking the easy way out. The beauty or the challenge for an alphabet poem is to make it flow using the first letter of the line to match the letter in the alphabet...you just repeated ...j is for... and so on.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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I was not writing an "alphabet" poem; I was merely writing a poem about jealousy. But thanks for your thoughts and input.
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You literally wrote 'alphabetical' in the subtitle. Maybe change the subtitle so people don't get confused.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I really like the clever, witty, and very well thought out way that you've answered the challenge. I think that using each letter to express your thought was brilliant! Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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I really like the clever, witty, and very well thought out way that you've answered the challenge. I think that using each letter to express your thought was brilliant! Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the kind words.
Comment from Lil' Mormon Boy
A great poem for the jealousy contest entry.
You have apparently thought of all the attributes of jealousy.
I wish you well in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2020
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A great poem for the jealousy contest entry.
You have apparently thought of all the attributes of jealousy.
I wish you well in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the review and good wishes.
Comment from pome lover
that's very good, and I hope, not personal. If so, I'm sorry.
You really gave great meanings for each letter and your meter and rhymes are good. Oh, and a perfect and very effective accompanying picture. All around, great job.
pome lover
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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that's very good, and I hope, not personal. If so, I'm sorry.
You really gave great meanings for each letter and your meter and rhymes are good. Oh, and a perfect and very effective accompanying picture. All around, great job.
pome lover
Comment Written 26-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the kind words. I do write best when it is personal.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This acrostic sounds like a personal emotional experience here and I'm not sure your poem is about the true essence of jealous here, but there is certainly a hint of unhappiness here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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This acrostic sounds like a personal emotional experience here and I'm not sure your poem is about the true essence of jealous here, but there is certainly a hint of unhappiness here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thanks for the review. I believe all my poetry is very personal. Pleased you like it.
Comment from Puzzle
This is a nice entry for the contest. I like how you used the word to tell a story. I like the picture you used and how you conveyed it all together. Nice job and good luck
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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This is a nice entry for the contest. I like how you used the word to tell a story. I like the picture you used and how you conveyed it all together. Nice job and good luck
Comment Written 26-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the wonderful review and the kind words.
Comment from LisaMay
Well done - I reckon you'll be a winner with this skilfully written acrostic. It shows self-awareness, knowing that awful things are being said, evil thoughts, underhanded lies, and also lack of sanity to moderate feelings... but also lack of personal control, blaming the other person for how this has come about ("...the jerk you've turned me into").
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Well done - I reckon you'll be a winner with this skilfully written acrostic. It shows self-awareness, knowing that awful things are being said, evil thoughts, underhanded lies, and also lack of sanity to moderate feelings... but also lack of personal control, blaming the other person for how this has come about ("...the jerk you've turned me into").
Comment Written 26-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you, thank you, thank you! Very much appreciated and I certainly hope you are correct.
Comment from Cindy Decker
Your poem's rhyme scheme is very smooth; the acrostic poem requirements are met beautifully. I would have used 'o is for obnoxious ' ', as a person who makes me feel this way. But it is very good work. Good luck in the contest. Stay well.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Your poem's rhyme scheme is very smooth; the acrostic poem requirements are met beautifully. I would have used 'o is for obnoxious ' ', as a person who makes me feel this way. But it is very good work. Good luck in the contest. Stay well.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you for comments. They are appreciated as is the wonderful rating. I used the "o" as I did as it was directed at a specific event, I do like your alternative.
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Your welcome! Much good luck in the contest.
