Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Greedy!"Experiences of living
191 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
stamp my foot and splash the muddy water
frustrated that there's nothing fit to steal
amongst the world of stuff there oughter
be something worth that grab and dash appeal
  |
stamp my foot and splash the muddy water
frustrated that there's nothing fit to steal
amongst the world of stuff there oughter
be something worth that grab and dash appeal
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from marijmd
My father used to say that Greed is the ultimate evil - it makes us forget our selves in the quest to accumulate. I feel the passion in your words.
|
My father used to say that Greed is the ultimate evil - it makes us forget our selves in the quest to accumulate. I feel the passion in your words.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from Selina Stambi
Dear Al,
I think I am beginning to get a dim understanding of how your heart beats!
I'm going to keep trying.
Five stars for being a very brave man, my friend! :)
|
Dear Al,
I think I am beginning to get a dim understanding of how your heart beats!
I'm going to keep trying.
Five stars for being a very brave man, my friend! :)
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from Black_Oxygen
This poetry speaks more than one undeniable truth. I
causes the reader to pause and think; mission
accomplished. With very few words, this poetry captured
and held my interest. Thank You for your creation.
|
This poetry speaks more than one undeniable truth. I
causes the reader to pause and think; mission
accomplished. With very few words, this poetry captured
and held my interest. Thank You for your creation.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from emjaihammond
I really do give you props for writing a poem like this. Maybe it's just me, but I really had to go back and read the writers notes before I could say I think I got it. With your notes, I think you are saying that the wise take a minute before they decide about something they read, so maybe I'm wiser than I thought!?! Or, not so much, either way, thanks for always making me think! Well done.
|
I really do give you props for writing a poem like this. Maybe it's just me, but I really had to go back and read the writers notes before I could say I think I got it. With your notes, I think you are saying that the wise take a minute before they decide about something they read, so maybe I'm wiser than I thought!?! Or, not so much, either way, thanks for always making me think! Well done.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
As in the beginning of time, the greed of mankind has caused much sorrow. Greed is the fundamental cause of wars and human suffering. Damage done by the greedy requires much work on the part of the wise to undue such damage.
|
As in the beginning of time, the greed of mankind has caused much sorrow. Greed is the fundamental cause of wars and human suffering. Damage done by the greedy requires much work on the part of the wise to undue such damage.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from arsinBW
I liked this one as with all that I've from you. It's very creative and original as always. So keep up the good work and I look foward to more
|
I liked this one as with all that I've from you. It's very creative and original as always. So keep up the good work and I look foward to more
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from AnonymousWisdom
Good information and emotions here.
Maybe it's because of this syllable restrictions, but this seems a bit hastily expressed, more like a personal stream-of-thought than something that was meant for others to read.
Remarks about the greedy being hasty to pass and leaving no quick mark or true.
Just a bit of friendly advice--sometimes, your poems are a little difficult to read. You pick great topics and obviously have deep emotions, but I think maybe you need to visualize a reader for yourself--someone outside your mind who thinks differently than you do, and may have difficulties reading your style of work. Many will see this as just a jumble of random words and fail to see the deeper meaning. :)
|
Good information and emotions here.
Maybe it's because of this syllable restrictions, but this seems a bit hastily expressed, more like a personal stream-of-thought than something that was meant for others to read.
Remarks about the greedy being hasty to pass and leaving no quick mark or true.
Just a bit of friendly advice--sometimes, your poems are a little difficult to read. You pick great topics and obviously have deep emotions, but I think maybe you need to visualize a reader for yourself--someone outside your mind who thinks differently than you do, and may have difficulties reading your style of work. Many will see this as just a jumble of random words and fail to see the deeper meaning. :)
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from Robin Gilmor
A very interesting poem that suggested a new form so I looked it up. the Rictameter is a good form for this verse. You are on target with the syllable count. Well done. Smiles. Robin :)
|
A very interesting poem that suggested a new form so I looked it up. the Rictameter is a good form for this verse. You are on target with the syllable count. Well done. Smiles. Robin :)
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from Gungalo
It's a fine work Al. Rictameter is one we don't see that often around here and it really is quite pretty when done right. A very nice write.
|
It's a fine work Al. Rictameter is one we don't see that often around here and it really is quite pretty when done right. A very nice write.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
