Reviews from

Oh Life!

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Greedy!"
Experiences of living

191 total reviews 
Comment from rhymelord
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I have not checked the syllable count, but that is unimportant in that any poem can fit that requirement if the poet ignores all rules of grammar and syntax. Is it that your mind works so fast that you cannot express your work in anything but this shorthand. I see this poem as a series of notes expressing thoughts on which to build a coherent work. If so, please slow down.
Regards
Reg

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
    THANKS.
Comment from Sanku
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This is a wordy representation of our consumerist ,greedy life .everything in excess.ignoring others.no one wants to make a deep mark in life -just eat and be merry.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2013

Comment from Benjamin Valencia
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Hello. Excellent word play to address the topic of greed. My favorite part was your use of "Wink" as in to hide the underlying corruption of business deals that advances the few, but takes away from everyone else. I immediately think about the term "Eminent domain" Cheers.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2013

Comment from mshugh
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I think this poem is about commentary and opinions - or that is what I interpret, but I'm not quite sure. as to the rictameter - it appears to have et the formula you have defined

Michael

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2013

Comment from Alan K Pease
Exceptional
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This is an excellent Rictameter consistant to the pattern of 2-4-6-8-10-8-6-4-2 which is its definition. I think you have done very well.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2013

Comment from simplyteresa
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I found your work interesting and expressive. I liked the artwork that you paired with your piece. I look forward to seeing additional chapters in this work; I enjoyed how you utilized concise words to spark thought.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2013

Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Greedy? Perhaps. When one is starving for those member dollars, and you are so ultra generous...? BUT, never have I skimmed one of your writings. Actually, I spend more time on yours than any others, because (normally) I have to figure out what the message is. This one, I believe, comes pretty much to the point. That many just write anything, as a reply, without even taking the time to read or try to understand. Yes- that truly IS greedy! Thank you for sharing this. It was quite clear. Betty

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2013

Comment from OLA THOMAS
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Well pictured in words, visual and rendition. Deep, deep thought that one can easily relate to. I think I really love the deep message.

ola thomas

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2013

Comment from Tina McKala
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Ok, I am no expert, take me as somebody not educated in literature, who is a possible buyer of your book if you ever publish.... I just don't get this. All your poems are a bunch of words that (sometimes) make a little meaning to me. Maybe it is a masterpiece and only I am the dumb one, but I really don't understand your messages.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
    THANKS.
Comment from God's Writer
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Thank you for the awesome poem my friend. I look forward to seeing your name come up on the scree. I know I am in for a literary treat.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2013