Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Greedy!"Experiences of living
191 total reviews
Comment from Zev06
Yeah, it is sad how greed seems to control our lives day in and day out. Always the endeavor to acquire more wealth no matter the cost, it all seems to be a big joke considering it is our nature.
Yeah, it is sad how greed seems to control our lives day in and day out. Always the endeavor to acquire more wealth no matter the cost, it all seems to be a big joke considering it is our nature.
Comment Written 19-May-2006
Comment from Dreamdancer
Hello my friend,
I like the play on words with this one. The message contained I must admit took me a minute or two to catch. Greed is a very powerful image within itself-- and even those who say that greed will never touch them have failed to come to Las Vegas:-) Awesome write my friend... Buddy
Hello my friend,
I like the play on words with this one. The message contained I must admit took me a minute or two to catch. Greed is a very powerful image within itself-- and even those who say that greed will never touch them have failed to come to Las Vegas:-) Awesome write my friend... Buddy
Comment Written 19-May-2006
Comment from sandramarie
You are so talented in using very few words to paint a vivid picture, Alcreator Writer. It took me a few reads to get your message here, but I got it, and it's a fine commentary on the greedy, often callous world we live in.
Thanks for sharing.
Sandy
You are so talented in using very few words to paint a vivid picture, Alcreator Writer. It took me a few reads to get your message here, but I got it, and it's a fine commentary on the greedy, often callous world we live in.
Thanks for sharing.
Sandy
Comment Written 19-May-2006
Comment from KRHolbrook
Interesting aspect you have going on here how some people are when commenting and reviewing, but not totally getting through to each word? I wasn't sure about this poem when I read it, but that's my take on it, probably because of your author note. It didn't seem to have that good of a flow to it and some of the lines didn't make sense to me, sorry.
Interesting aspect you have going on here how some people are when commenting and reviewing, but not totally getting through to each word? I wasn't sure about this poem when I read it, but that's my take on it, probably because of your author note. It didn't seem to have that good of a flow to it and some of the lines didn't make sense to me, sorry.
Comment Written 19-May-2006
Comment from pen pal
Hi there
couldn't quite get my head around this one.
I have however enjoyed your other work.
I am sure this makes sense to others out there perhaps you wanted to test us
I'm sorry that I failed
Hi there
couldn't quite get my head around this one.
I have however enjoyed your other work.
I am sure this makes sense to others out there perhaps you wanted to test us
I'm sorry that I failed
Comment Written 19-May-2006
Comment from Riyoun
I really liked this. It flowed well and didn't seem forced. It was really good and I liked your message. The poem was wonderful.
I really liked this. It flowed well and didn't seem forced. It was really good and I liked your message. The poem was wonderful.
Comment Written 19-May-2006
Comment from Bettybananas
Alcreator. I'm sorry, but this poem does not make sense. It is not the reader's inability to comprehend I'm afraid, rather the writer failing to portray anything sensical. I'm not quite sure if it's a language barrier but there is absolutely no coherence in the piece. Sorry I culdn't be more positive and I must say I'm intrigued by your advice to reviewers!!
Alcreator. I'm sorry, but this poem does not make sense. It is not the reader's inability to comprehend I'm afraid, rather the writer failing to portray anything sensical. I'm not quite sure if it's a language barrier but there is absolutely no coherence in the piece. Sorry I culdn't be more positive and I must say I'm intrigued by your advice to reviewers!!
Comment Written 19-May-2006
Comment from RazberryBullet
I like the message, but the lines are confusing.
examples: ...
View greed ever ??
Pass words instant any ??
Mess wise world for moments ???
I like the message, but the lines are confusing.
examples: ...
View greed ever ??
Pass words instant any ??
Mess wise world for moments ???
Comment Written 19-May-2006
Comment from fhree
Writing
Richtameters
should involve including
the beginning and ending words
into the message. Otherwise what is
the point? Blend from start to finish,
the next time you do some
Richtameter
Writing
Also,
the jumble of words I find irritating.
I cannot rate this highly at all.
F
Writing
Richtameters
should involve including
the beginning and ending words
into the message. Otherwise what is
the point? Blend from start to finish,
the next time you do some
Richtameter
Writing
Also,
the jumble of words I find irritating.
I cannot rate this highly at all.
F
Comment Written 19-May-2006
Comment from R. McGeddon
AllCreator Writer, this is quite an illuminating rictameter. I am new to FanStory, so I am not familiar with they way you write, but find it catchy and refreshing. Your view of greed is a lot like mine.
R. McGeddon
AllCreator Writer, this is quite an illuminating rictameter. I am new to FanStory, so I am not familiar with they way you write, but find it catchy and refreshing. Your view of greed is a lot like mine.
R. McGeddon
Comment Written 19-May-2006