Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Really!"Experiences of living
154 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
Is I loss the hidden word perhaps? You might have to tell me:) Another excellent artwork to complement this poem. The poem is short but sounds nice and is dot on syllable count.
  |
Is I loss the hidden word perhaps? You might have to tell me:) Another excellent artwork to complement this poem. The poem is short but sounds nice and is dot on syllable count.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
Comment from Deborah Marie
Another well penned poem and photo choice as well as color scheme. Love your use of 5-7-5-7-7 in your poem as well as progression, rhythm and flow for an excellent read, Deb
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
|
Another well penned poem and photo choice as well as color scheme. Love your use of 5-7-5-7-7 in your poem as well as progression, rhythm and flow for an excellent read, Deb
Comment Written 13-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
-
THANK YOU FOR REVIEW.
Comment from Gungalo
I think to relate
Later! Wink it now somehow,
'Oh here,' trust my heart.
'Summon day' comes, where is it?
Shame! Re-vow! Daily shows lose most!
This one blows my mind Al for the way it is put together. You couldn't have picked a better way.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
|
I think to relate
Later! Wink it now somehow,
'Oh here,' trust my heart.
'Summon day' comes, where is it?
Shame! Re-vow! Daily shows lose most!
This one blows my mind Al for the way it is put together. You couldn't have picked a better way.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
-
THANK YOU FOR CLEAR REVIEW.
-
Smiling at you.
Comment from marijmd
I think to relate - nice opening line. Your poems always encourage me to think with there loose structure and experimentation.
|
I think to relate - nice opening line. Your poems always encourage me to think with there loose structure and experimentation.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from MM lives on :)
Dear AL, Shame what a shame...indeed it is my friend, you have 3 poems on the top yet I am not sure if you are promoting a book for sale or do you actually take information given to revise..self promotion to publish? Please advise so we can help, in particular if an english barrier.
|
Dear AL, Shame what a shame...indeed it is my friend, you have 3 poems on the top yet I am not sure if you are promoting a book for sale or do you actually take information given to revise..self promotion to publish? Please advise so we can help, in particular if an english barrier.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from AnonymousWisdom
The last line has 8 syllables.
Again, I feel the emotion in this--but I'm sorry, it just isn't clear.
Wink it now
How exactly do you wink something?
Your author's notes are very long. Hint: when you have to explain something that much and provide a glossary, you should probably edit and clarify your message. This reads like a semi-meaningless jumble of words--which is wrong, because I know there's meaning behind this, it just isn't accessible!
Please work on making your poetry connect to the audience. This will increase its impact, both emotional and educational, and make your message understandable.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
 |
The last line has 8 syllables.
Again, I feel the emotion in this--but I'm sorry, it just isn't clear.
Wink it now
How exactly do you wink something?
Your author's notes are very long. Hint: when you have to explain something that much and provide a glossary, you should probably edit and clarify your message. This reads like a semi-meaningless jumble of words--which is wrong, because I know there's meaning behind this, it just isn't accessible!
Please work on making your poetry connect to the audience. This will increase its impact, both emotional and educational, and make your message understandable.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
-
THANKS
Comment from Alexander E Poet
FAR OUT ....................................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
|
FAR OUT ....................................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
-
THANKS
Comment from Matthew M.
Is the hidden word, "loss"? Otherwise I didn't see it. In this poem, I see the the sadness of loss, but the tenactiy to try again. I felt to me like there was an excessive use of exclamation points.
|
Is the hidden word, "loss"? Otherwise I didn't see it. In this poem, I see the the sadness of loss, but the tenactiy to try again. I felt to me like there was an excessive use of exclamation points.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from Hitcher
This one is a bit of a mind bender my friend, I've read it a few times and each time come up with a different idea of the hidden word. I'm leaning toward shows, but could be a million miles away of course :)
|
This one is a bit of a mind bender my friend, I've read it a few times and each time come up with a different idea of the hidden word. I'm leaning toward shows, but could be a million miles away of course :)
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I think to relate
Later! Wink it now somehow,
'Oh here,' trust my heart.
'Summon day' comes, where is it?
Shame! Re-vow! Daily shows lose most
Are your words about something lost,
but we must trust our heart to find it?
I'm interested to know,ALD
Margaret
|
I think to relate
Later! Wink it now somehow,
'Oh here,' trust my heart.
'Summon day' comes, where is it?
Shame! Re-vow! Daily shows lose most
Are your words about something lost,
but we must trust our heart to find it?
I'm interested to know,ALD
Margaret
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
