Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Artist!"Experiences of living
110 total reviews
Comment from cutie
Meaningful message left by your poem.
It's hard to understand and hard to recognize..i think the reason of choosing so few lined poems is reaching more people to leave your message.
Hope your poems and their message also being understood as well as they reached to many people because it seeming more difficult :)
This is the first time i come across with so deep and intellectual messages in such a few lines.
As this poem.
Thanks!
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Meaningful message left by your poem.
It's hard to understand and hard to recognize..i think the reason of choosing so few lined poems is reaching more people to leave your message.
Hope your poems and their message also being understood as well as they reached to many people because it seeming more difficult :)
This is the first time i come across with so deep and intellectual messages in such a few lines.
As this poem.
Thanks!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from Ballarina
I liked the first and last line of this the very best. The others left me wondering a little. Maybe capitalizing the first letter of each word was too much. I'm not sure, but for me that was distracting.
I like the thougtht and it had a strong mood to it.
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I liked the first and last line of this the very best. The others left me wondering a little. Maybe capitalizing the first letter of each word was too much. I'm not sure, but for me that was distracting.
I like the thougtht and it had a strong mood to it.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from mayflowerbg
Hi, Tanka Writer!
Line up, poems, the meticulous reviewer is coming!
Rush in! ...... see art raw,
Wink colour, flavour, life, times
They come, view, leave with
Fools' heaven dark water words
Wise finds timeless art from raw.
Good! Everything is on its place and I cannot say it in a better way.
No suggestions.
Mayflower
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Hi, Tanka Writer!
Line up, poems, the meticulous reviewer is coming!
Rush in! ...... see art raw,
Wink colour, flavour, life, times
They come, view, leave with
Fools' heaven dark water words
Wise finds timeless art from raw.
Good! Everything is on its place and I cannot say it in a better way.
No suggestions.
Mayflower
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from cheyennewy
I do believe this is the best tanka poem I have read! You have made some word choices that are stunning.
Rush in! ...... see art raw,
Wink colour, flavour, life, times ........this line is wonderful (wink colour) is amazing
They come, view, leave with
Fools' heaven dark water words .........Dark water words' is clever and innovative!
Wise finds timeless art from raw.......those who can see a piece of art and know
what was in the painters mind are surely
wise....not all can do this and they sadly
go away with nothing.
Well done....bravo...cheyenne
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I do believe this is the best tanka poem I have read! You have made some word choices that are stunning.
Rush in! ...... see art raw,
Wink colour, flavour, life, times ........this line is wonderful (wink colour) is amazing
They come, view, leave with
Fools' heaven dark water words .........Dark water words' is clever and innovative!
Wise finds timeless art from raw.......those who can see a piece of art and know
what was in the painters mind are surely
wise....not all can do this and they sadly
go away with nothing.
Well done....bravo...cheyenne
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from Holle
Almost a 5 but there is only one rule to free form...no rhyme and same words give the illusion of rhyme. Form again could use reworking, but I get what you are saying and I do like it, I wonder, however, if most would take the time....when writing with deep metaphors make sure you don't talk over the heads of the people that need the message the most (smiles)...consider please, and if you revise let me know, I'd love to view it again!
Rush in
See raw art (switch to avoid raw and raw)
Wink at color
Essence (I only replaced this word because of it's close pattern to color)
Life
& (optional)
Times
As they come
& (optional)
Go
View...leave with
Fools' heaven (yes, fools rush in...nice back to the begining)
Dark watery words
The truly wise (again NIICE..."wise men say only fools rush in" )
Find timeless art
Within the undefined (can use a different word here to make the switching on line two optional)! :-)
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Almost a 5 but there is only one rule to free form...no rhyme and same words give the illusion of rhyme. Form again could use reworking, but I get what you are saying and I do like it, I wonder, however, if most would take the time....when writing with deep metaphors make sure you don't talk over the heads of the people that need the message the most (smiles)...consider please, and if you revise let me know, I'd love to view it again!
Rush in
See raw art (switch to avoid raw and raw)
Wink at color
Essence (I only replaced this word because of it's close pattern to color)
Life
& (optional)
Times
As they come
& (optional)
Go
View...leave with
Fools' heaven (yes, fools rush in...nice back to the begining)
Dark watery words
The truly wise (again NIICE..."wise men say only fools rush in" )
Find timeless art
Within the undefined (can use a different word here to make the switching on line two optional)! :-)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from Georgina Lenty
Some people see the piece of art at face-value, while others are able to get in interpretation of what the artist is trying to convey, whether it's a message or a feeling. I like the way you summed it all up here - nice read!
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Some people see the piece of art at face-value, while others are able to get in interpretation of what the artist is trying to convey, whether it's a message or a feeling. I like the way you summed it all up here - nice read!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from rhymer1
You are a master of the two forms I reviewed today, packing all the poetic craft of creating visuals with a minimum of words. My interpretation(s) of this one all lead me to see a bit of arrogance on the part of the creator. Intelect and training don't always result in wisddom, honest modesty, and acceptance of the deficiencies of others. The later three are what I seek, and I fall short by writing this review. Damned fool me with wheels within wheels. Forgive.
Cheers, Allister AKA rhymer1
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You are a master of the two forms I reviewed today, packing all the poetic craft of creating visuals with a minimum of words. My interpretation(s) of this one all lead me to see a bit of arrogance on the part of the creator. Intelect and training don't always result in wisddom, honest modesty, and acceptance of the deficiencies of others. The later three are what I seek, and I fall short by writing this review. Damned fool me with wheels within wheels. Forgive.
Cheers, Allister AKA rhymer1
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from lovebear641
writing is an art..so many of us rush in to write and we feel the rush it gives us ..but i only do it for a hobby...maybe for the rush and it truely is an art and so few get it on canvas the way it should be told
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writing is an art..so many of us rush in to write and we feel the rush it gives us ..but i only do it for a hobby...maybe for the rush and it truely is an art and so few get it on canvas the way it should be told
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from Chadster81
Another good submission. I'm not as familiar with the Tanka as the Haiku but from your guidelines it seems well done.
I enjoyed the Haiku you penned better for the content.
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Another good submission. I'm not as familiar with the Tanka as the Haiku but from your guidelines it seems well done.
I enjoyed the Haiku you penned better for the content.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from WorstPoetic Reviewer
This Tanka poem has perfect syllable counting; wise steps slow but passes comments wisely and timelessly not like fools who rush in and comment instantly and such words melt away or go away like writing on water; so huge facts covered in so brief; so nice.
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This Tanka poem has perfect syllable counting; wise steps slow but passes comments wisely and timelessly not like fools who rush in and comment instantly and such words melt away or go away like writing on water; so huge facts covered in so brief; so nice.
Comment Written 15-May-2006
