Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Banter!"Experiences of living
155 total reviews
Comment from Black_Oxygen
With very few words, this poetry causes the reader to
pause and think. No photo is needed; your words are
ample. Thank You for your creation.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
  |
With very few words, this poetry causes the reader to
pause and think. No photo is needed; your words are
ample. Thank You for your creation.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS FOR YOUR NICE REVIEW.
Comment from prayingpoet
"Parent isolated" yes, I see this all the time. Kids who think they are "special" and deserve to be treated like a queen....even at thirty and living at home paying no bills.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
|
"Parent isolated" yes, I see this all the time. Kids who think they are "special" and deserve to be treated like a queen....even at thirty and living at home paying no bills.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS FOR YOUR NICE REVIEW.
Comment from Bobby Jo
This is a powerful poem. But I'm trying to decide what you are talking about. Are you talking about Jesus dying on the cross. Not sure I understand it.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
 |
This is a powerful poem. But I'm trying to decide what you are talking about. Are you talking about Jesus dying on the cross. Not sure I understand it.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Alcreator Litt Dear,
I really had a difficult time with this one.
"I gifted life, blood,"// ?? I don't understand this at all.
"Light, sleepless-restless day-nights,"// Not great, but OK
"As caressed, taught words."// Both these images confuse as well, what do you mean??
"My word may hurt, you fear to"// This line is so broken I can't grasp it at all.
"Disown me. Shame, how wonder! // Disowning, shame gives wonder?? Again the line doesn't make coherent sense to me??
I'm sorry I can't grasp your work or even try to figure out what you are saying.
Thanks for sharing - your work is definitely unique.
Maureen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
|
Hi Alcreator Litt Dear,
I really had a difficult time with this one.
"I gifted life, blood,"// ?? I don't understand this at all.
"Light, sleepless-restless day-nights,"// Not great, but OK
"As caressed, taught words."// Both these images confuse as well, what do you mean??
"My word may hurt, you fear to"// This line is so broken I can't grasp it at all.
"Disown me. Shame, how wonder! // Disowning, shame gives wonder?? Again the line doesn't make coherent sense to me??
I'm sorry I can't grasp your work or even try to figure out what you are saying.
Thanks for sharing - your work is definitely unique.
Maureen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS.
Comment from dmt1967
This is another good poem I think this one is a bit to deep for me though its meaning went right over my head but it was well written thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
|
This is another good poem I think this one is a bit to deep for me though its meaning went right over my head but it was well written thank you for sharing
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS FOR YOUR FEEDBACK.
Comment from Adri7enne
Gibran says your children live in the house of tomorrow which you can't visit, not even in your dreams. Whatever we may give them, they will eventually have to live their own lives. I admit to not understanding this, "Shame, how wonder!" Best not to say the words that might make one fearful of being disowned.
Left me with question, A. Interesting poetry.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
|
Gibran says your children live in the house of tomorrow which you can't visit, not even in your dreams. Whatever we may give them, they will eventually have to live their own lives. I admit to not understanding this, "Shame, how wonder!" Best not to say the words that might make one fearful of being disowned.
Left me with question, A. Interesting poetry.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS FOR YOUR HONEST REVIEW.
Comment from Cedar
The way that I interpret this one is that you're writing about your birth and growth through childhood. And all the things that parents do throughout this process, to the point of hurtful words being said and parents shamefully disown the child. Bill
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
|
The way that I interpret this one is that you're writing about your birth and growth through childhood. And all the things that parents do throughout this process, to the point of hurtful words being said and parents shamefully disown the child. Bill
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS FOR GOOD REVIEW.
Comment from Indie Skreet
this has a message for sure but is not conveyed in a clear enough way to make an impact ......... oh and that exclamation mark..... why o' why?!
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
|
this has a message for sure but is not conveyed in a clear enough way to make an impact ......... oh and that exclamation mark..... why o' why?!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS.
Comment from emjaihammond
This poem, I believe, is expressing the relationship between parent and child, as the child grows up with new thoughts of his own. As a parent, these are thoughts I can relate well to, as the love of our children causes us to teach with passion the things we believe are truth, with the hope they will understand and accept. I'm not quite sure of the last line. After reading it several times, I find myself wondering if "Shame, how wonderful" speaks to the value of thinking for ones self after a child reaches a certain age. Though I am not at all certain that is your intention here. It's a little unclear, whether intentional or not. I liked the poem, as it is thought provoking and an enjoyable read. Nicely done as always.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
|
This poem, I believe, is expressing the relationship between parent and child, as the child grows up with new thoughts of his own. As a parent, these are thoughts I can relate well to, as the love of our children causes us to teach with passion the things we believe are truth, with the hope they will understand and accept. I'm not quite sure of the last line. After reading it several times, I find myself wondering if "Shame, how wonderful" speaks to the value of thinking for ones self after a child reaches a certain age. Though I am not at all certain that is your intention here. It's a little unclear, whether intentional or not. I liked the poem, as it is thought provoking and an enjoyable read. Nicely done as always.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS FOR YOUR NICE PROFESSIONAL REVIEW.
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in the 5/7/5/7/7 syllable count you state. I'm curious why you use the tanka syllable count since you state you don't really intend for it to be one of those forms?
I am having a difficult time with both the flow and meaning of this one. Good consonance of L sounds in the first lines.
Brooke
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
|
Your poem is in the 5/7/5/7/7 syllable count you state. I'm curious why you use the tanka syllable count since you state you don't really intend for it to be one of those forms?
I am having a difficult time with both the flow and meaning of this one. Good consonance of L sounds in the first lines.
Brooke
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
-
THANKS.
